Plants gone potty!: [PostmansCorner] THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

The big game hunter walked in the bar and bragged to
everyone about his hunting skills. The man was undoubtedly
a good shot and no one could dispute that. But then he
said that they could blindfold him and he would recognize
any animal's skin from its feel, and if he could locate the
bullet hole he would even tell them
what caliber the bullet was that killed the animal. The
hunter said that he was willing to prove it if they would
put up the drinks, and so the bet was on.
They blindfolded him carefully and took him to his first
animal skin. After feeling it for a few moments, he announced
"Bear." Then he felt the bullet hole and declared,
"Shot with a .308 rifle." He was right.
They brought him another skin, one that someone had in their
car trunk. He took a bit longer this time and then said,
"Elk, shot with a 7mm Mag rifle." He was right again.
Through the night, he proved his skills several more times,
every time against a round of drinks. Finally he staggered
home drunk and went to sleep. The next morning he got up and
saw in the mirror that he had one hell of a shiner.
He said to his wife, "I know I was drunk last night, but I
think I'd remember a brawl. Where did I get this black eye?"
His wife angrily replied, "I gave it to you. You got into
bed and put your hand down my panties. Then you fiddled around
a bit and loudly announced, 'Skunk, killed with an axe.'"
______________

Herb kissed his wife, crawled into bed and fell asleep.
All of a sudden, he woke up to find an elderly man dressed
in a white robe standing at the foot of his bed.
"What the hell are you doing in my bedroom?... and who are you?" he asked.
"This is not your bedroom," the man replied, "I am St. Peter, and you are in heaven."
"WHAT! Are you saying I'm dead? I don't want to die! I'm too young," said Herb.
"I want you to send me back immediately."
"It's not that easy", said St.Peter. "You can only return as a dog or a hen.
The choice is yours."
Herb thought about it for a while, and figured that being a
dog is too tiring, but a hen probably has a nice and relaxed life.
"I want to return as a hen."
And in the next second, he found himself in a chicken run, really nicely feathered.
But now he felt like his rear end was gonna blow. Then along came another hen.
"Hey, you must be the new hen St. Peter told me about," she said.
"How do you like being a hen?"
"Well, OK I guess, but it feels like my ass is about to explode."
"Oh that!" said the other hen. "That's only the ovulation going on. You need to lay an egg."
"How do I do that?" Herb asked.
"Cluck twice, and then push all you can."
Herb clucked twice and pushed more than he was good for, and then 'plop' an egg was on the ground.
"Wow" Herb said, "That felt really good!"
So Herb clucked again and squeezed.
And you better believe that there was another egg on the ground.
The third time he clucked, Herb heard his wife shout:
"Herb, for Christ's sake! Wake up! You're shittin' all over the bed!"
_________________

How did the Georgia football player die from drinking milk?
The cow fell on him.
______________

You Might Be A High Tech Redneck If...

- Your e-mail address ends in "@over.yonder.com."

- You connect to the World Wide Web via a "Down Home Page."

- Your laptop has a sticker that says, "Protected by Smith and Wesson."

- You wire your network with jumper cables.

- Your wife said either she or the computer had to go, and you still don't miss her.
__________

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

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Plants gone potty!

[PostmansCorner] THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

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