THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Do what you feel in your heart is right,
for you'll be criticized anyway.
~Eleanor Roosevelt
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Its been very quiet for a holiday weekend
here. The most newsworthy item on the "West Michigan
live" website was the report of a mobile home fire
early yesterday morning: required three volunteer
fire departments to put out. (around here we usually
call volunteer fire departments "basement savers" because
usally that's all that is left by the time they get there:
is to save the basement, cuz everthing else burned)
Anyways, By contrast, there were gunfire 20 deaths in the last
24 hours in New York City, left for Mayor uh, what is his
name?? Mayor Dumford? Mayor Dumberg? He's mad and he wants
to call for tougher gun laws instead!! Hmm, wonder what we
should do out here in West Michigan? Pass a new law against
poorly equipped volunteer fire departments? or would it be
better to pass a law to outlaw unsafe mobile homes?
Oh wait, here is an idea!!! Why doncha all you New Yorkers
who don't like being shot at? Just move out here to beautiful
West Michigan? Sounds like a plan and you don't got to
pass a bunch of senseless laws either!
GO FIGGER!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_______________
THE COMICS
optical illusion
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r016.html
procrastination
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r017.html
cover me
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r018.html
It happened at Eddie's one day...
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r019.html
smart phones
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r020.html
____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
CNN Apologizes After Playing
R.A.P.E.D. Track for 103 Year Old Lady!!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1269.html
Surfin´ Bulldog (Beach Boys - Surfin´ USA)
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1270.html
______________
POWER POINT DISPLAY
big girls
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd746.html
In an alcohol factory the regular taster died
and the director started looking for a new one to hire.
A drunkard with
ragged, dirty look came to apply for the position.
The director of the
factory wondered how to send him away.
They tested him. They
gave him a glass with a drink.
He tried it and said, "It's red wine, a
muscat, three years old, grown on a
north slope, matured in steel containers."
"That's correct", said the boss.
Another glass."It'sred wine, cabernet, eight
years old, a south-western slope, oak
barrels.""Correct."
A third glass.''It's champagne, high grade
and exclusive'' calmly said the drunk.
The director was astonished.He winked at his
secretary to suggest something.She brought in a
glass of urine.The alcoholic tried it.
"It's a blonde, 26 years old,pregnant in the
third month. And if you don't give me the
job, I'll name the father!"
_________________
NEWFOUNDLAND LOVE POEM
Of course I loves ya darling
You're a bloody top notch bird
And when I say yer gorgeous
I means every single word
So yer arse is on the big side
I don't mind a bit of flab
It means that when I'm ready
There's somethin there to grab
So yer belly isn't flat no more
I tell ya, I don't care
So long as when I cuddle ya
I can get my arms round dere
I'm tellin ya the truth now
I never tells ya lies
I think its very sexy
Dat you've got dimples on yer thighs
I swear on me grannies grave
From the moment that we met
I thought you was as good as
I was ever gonna get
No matter what you look like
I'll always love ya dear
Now shut up while the hockey's on
And get me a nudder beer.
_______________
Friedman gets a new job, so he has to take
a physical. The doctor finishes the exam
and says, "Jesus, Mr. Friedman, you've got
the smallest penis I've ever seen. Do you
have any difficulties with it being so small?"
Friedman says, "No. I've got a great wife,
two kids, and a normal sex life. I guess
the only problem I have is finding it when
I have to take a piss." The doctor says,
"You have a problem finding it to urinate? Then
how the hell do you have a normal sex life?"
Friedman says, "Because when we want to fuck,
there's two of us looking for it."
______________
BUFFALO BILL
Honey I'm Home
http://www.buffaloschips.com/aswas.htm
Horse Race
http://www.buffaloschips.com/aaswa.htm
Good Job
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gjuik.htm
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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