Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Hobbling around at moment due to diet and weather setting off
a case of gout in my left foot. About fifteen years ago I dropped
a 25 pound steel pin on my foot while taking apart a machine. Of
course it totally missed the steel toe and landed on the arch of
my foot. Whatever damage it did caused arthritis to set in and
also seems to be the place that the crystals seem to form further
aggravating the joint. I made it to my TOPS meeting tonight by
walking slow from the parking lot and then when I got sat down I
realized I had left my wallet in the Jimmy so back out there again
and back in.
I went looking fro my crutches which help take the weight of my foot
and found out Miss Eva had stolen all of the bolts and wing nuts from
them. She also likes to take the closers off of the screen door and
disassemble her toys. Eva's teacher sends home a daily report on
her behavior in class and they get marked either green for excellent
day,
yellow for a good day, or red for a bad day. She got a yellow the other
day
because she pushed another student down and made her cry. Kind
of make you wonder hat they have to do to get a bad day. Probably
firearms charges or carjacking the teacher's car would qualify for the
red.
heh heh.
Enjoy the chips ... buffalo
The Asylm
Chaos in Uniform
The name says it all!! Witty stories about the navy, marines, army and
more..
Brought to you each Thursday, by Freddy.
This is a free adult ezine, and loads of fun.
To subscribe, send a blank email to:
TA_Chaos-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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Bye Bye Bed Bugs
Afraid Yucky Bed Bugs May Be Lurking Where You Sleep?
Jam-packed guide offers the most effective, step-by-step
methods to get rid of bed bugs. Complete with valuable
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Dog Chips
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On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door
of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this,
I will give you a life span of twenty years."
The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten
years and I'll give you back the other ten?"
And God saw it was good.
On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people,
do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year
life span."
The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long
time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"
And God, again saw it was good.
On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the
field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves
and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you
a life span of sixty years."
The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty
years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"
And God agreed it was good.
On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry
and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."
But the human said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my
twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and
the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"
"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."
So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy
ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our
family. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the
grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch
and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing
it as a public service. If you are looking for me I will be on the
front porch.
Randy
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
couldn't do anything about it
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no no officer!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s027.html
this year's family christmas card
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s028.html
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Ski Chips
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Monika and Judi, colleagues at work, were having lunch in the
office cafeteria one Friday.
"So what are you doing this weekend?" Monika asked Judi.
"I have a ski weekend planned," Judi answered. "Two nights and
three days hitting the slopes. I've been saving up for it for
several months. I'm really looking forward to it."
"Sounds great," Monika replied. "You'll have to tell me how it
goes."
The following Monday, the two friends were once again having
lunch in the office cafeteria.
"So how'd your ski weekend go?" Monika asked Judi.
"It was great," Judi replied. "But...there was some good news and
some bad news."
"What was the good news?" Monika asked.
"The good news," Judi answered, "was that I shared the cabin with
these two drop-dead gorgeous men!"
"Wow! That must have been wonderful!" Monika replied. "So what's
the bad news?"
"The bad news," Judi explained, "was that they were engaged to
each other!"
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26 Feng Shui Secrets.
No Non-sense Feng Shui Secrets Of The Orient - Learn 26
Secrets To Increase Your Wealth, Harmony, And Romance!
http://tinyurl.com/3lree39
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Heaven Chips
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A train hits a bus filled with Catholic school girls and they all
perish.
They are in Heaven trying to enter the pearly gates when St. Peter asks
the first girl, 'Tiffany, have you ever had any contact with a male
organ?'
She giggles and shyly replies, 'Well, I once touched the head of one
with the tip of my finger.' St. Peter says, 'Okay, dip the tip of your
finger in the Holy Water and pass through the gate.'
St. Peter asks the next girl the same question; 'Jennifer, have you ever
had any contact with a male organ?' The girl is a little reluctant but
replies, 'Well, once I fondled and stroked one.' St. Peter says, 'Okay,
dip your whole hand in the Holy Water and pass through the gate.'
All of a sudden, there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls.. One
girl is pushing her way to the front of the line. When she reaches the
front, St. Peter says, 'Reeva, What seems to be the rush?'
The girl replies, 'If I'm going to have to gargle that Holy Water, I
want to do it before Jessica sticks her ass in it!'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Find Out About Ferrets.
The Complete Guide To Turning Your Fuzzy Into The Happiest,
Best-Behaved, And Healthiest Pet In The World!
http://tinyurl.com/3m8rvxw
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Short Chips
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Nancy kind of liked Bob, the bartender down at the shore and was
flirting with him for a couple of days. She ordered a drink and was
going to pay for it, and she said jokingly, "This money is all wet,
is it still good?"
Bob said, "I don't know, would you be good if you were wet?"
One evening I had to attend a business meeting, and so I left my two
sons with John.
He cooked dinner and later, while cleaning up, called out, "Does
your mom have any SOS?"
Apparently not hearing him clearly, my 16-year-old in the other room
said, "Yeah, once a month."
Ruthy: "Oh Jill. This new guy I'm dating is sooooo romantic.
Every time he speaks to me, he starts with, 'Fair Lady'."
Jill: "Romantic my ass! Don't you know he used to be a bus driver."
According to a new book called "The Hardness Factor," carrots,
bananas and cucumbers are just as effective as Viagra for men.
Actually, depending on the size of the carrot, banana or cucumber,
you might not even need the man. - Jay Leno
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Basement Waterproofing Manual
The complete basement waterproofing resource.
http://tinyurl.com/3gczy72
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Ahhh Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There were three brothers who bought a three story house. The
eldest brother had the top floor, the middle had the middle floor,
and the youngest got the bottom floor.
A little while after they moved in, the eldest brother brought over
his girlfriend. During that night, the two younger brothers heard
the following sounds: Click, swish, fftt, ahhh.
The next morning, the younger brothers asked their brother what the
noise they'd heard last night was.
He replied, "Click-turned off the light. Swish-ran across the room.
Fftt-farted, and Ahhh-landed on my girl."
The middle brother was excited by that, so he brought over his
girlfriend the next night.
During that night, the two other brothers heard the following
sounds:
Click, swish, fftt, ahhh.
The eldest and youngest asked him what the noise in his room last
night was. He replied, "Click- turned off the light. Swish-ran
across the room. Fftt-farted, and Ahhh-landed on my girl."
Now, the youngest brother was really excited. So he brought over
his girlfriend, and that night, the older brothers heard the
following sounds: Click, swish, fftt, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
In the morning, the older brothers asked him what the noise in his
room was.
So, he said, "Click-turned off the light. Swish-ran across the
room.
Fftt-farted, and AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-landed on the bedpost!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Easy Pumpkin Painting
A must for Halloween, this Step-By-Step Guide offers instruction
and photos for painting cute, whimsical faces on pumpkins.
http://tinyurl.com/3saps6n
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LynnLynn's Links
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e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/The Best of Country (new music)
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Mu/Co/Cu.html
From Kathryn/The Ol' Fishin' Hole
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Carol w/TBF
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Spiders, Ticks, Biting Mites
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Friends And Health
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Advice For Living
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John Scapes Basement
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Wi-fi
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Sound Effects
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Ricochet The Surf Dog
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Movie Links
Benny Hill Wishing Well
http://www.buffaloschips.com/9201.htm
Be Quiet
http://www.buffaloschips.com/9202.htm
Best Casino Ad Ever
http://www.buffaloschips.com/9203.htm
Best First Dance At A Wedding
http://www.buffaloschips.com/9204.htm
Best Video Of The Year
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CCR Lorraine
http://www.buffaloschips.com/1236.htm
Cell Phone
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Chick Em
http://www.buffaloschips.com/1238.htm
Child Proof Drawer
http://www.buffaloschips.com/1239.htm
Children Fire Alarms
http://www.buffaloschips.com/12310.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Genie Chips
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A husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf. Of course,
the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of
the biggest house adjacent to the course. The husband cringed, "I
warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the
owner, apologize, and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost
us.
So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A
warm voice said, "Come on in." When they opened the door they saw
the damage that was done:glass was all over the place, and a broken
antique bottle was lying on its side near the broken window. A man
reclining on the couch asked, "A re you the people that broke the
window?" "Uh...yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that," the husband
replied. "Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank
you. You see, I am a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle
for a thousand years." "Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to
grant three wishes.
I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the
last one for myself."
"Wow, that's great!" the husband said. He wondered a moment and
blurted out, "I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my
life."
"No problem," said the genie. "You've got it; it's the least I can
do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!"
"And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the genie asked.
"I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every
country in the world."
"Consider it done," the genie said. "And your homes will always be
safe from fire, burglary, and natural disasters!"
"And now," the couple asked in unison, "What's your wish, genie?"
"Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle and haven't been with
a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with
your wife."
The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee, honey, you know we
both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?"
She mulled it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're
right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but
what about you, Honey?"
"You know I love you sweetheart," said the husband. "I'd do the
same for you!"
So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest
of the afternoon enjoying each other. The genie was insatiable.
After about three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and
looked directly into her eyes and asked, "How old are you and your
husband?"
"Why, we're both 35," she responded breathlessly.
"NO SHIT... Thirty-five years old and both of you still believe in
genies?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ride a Fat Boy
http://www.buffaloschips.com/42513.htm
Bum Fuck Egypt
http://www.buffaloschips.com/42514.htm
Good Spanking
http://www.buffaloschips.com/42515.htm
No screwing in public restrooms
http://www.buffaloschips.com/42516.htm
Work For head
http://www.buffaloschips.com/42517.htm
Wicked Picture
http://www.buffaloschips.com/42518.htm
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Hovercraft Central.
Discover The Fun Scientific Innovations Allowing You To Build
Your Own Hovercraft.
http://tinyurl.com/3wz8nfo
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was a man named Ron Rice
Whose privates were ravaged by lice
He scrubbed and he scratched,
But still more were hatched
If you've had it, you know it ain't nice.
There was a man from Cuba
Who stuck his dick in a tuba
His newly wed bride
Blew on the other side
And his dick flew off to Aruba
There once was a young girl named Charlotte
Who made extra cash as a harlot
She screwed a producer
Who tried to seduce her
And now she's a Hollywood Starlet!
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Electronics Repair
Schemes and Service Manuals
http://tinyurl.com/3twwmx5
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man walks into a bar with his dog and orders two glasses of
whiskey.
He proposes a toast and both he and his dog empty their glasses.
The girl behind the bar is surprised and asks: "Can your dog perform
other tricks?"
"But of course", the man answers, "he can even gratify a woman".
Anxious to know more the girl leads the man and the dog into a
little room above the bar. She undresses and full of expectation
she lies down on the bed.
The dog looks at her and does nothing.
"It's always the same thing with you!" the man then shouts to the
dog, "I'll show you how to do it one last time."
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Self-Sufficient-Life.com
Keeping and raising Chickens and Poultry. Build A Chicken Coop. Growing
your own fruit and vegetables. Beekeeping (Honey bees). Herbal Remedies,
Herbs, Remedy. Hydroponic Gardening, Hydroponics Garden. Building Your
Own Greenhouse.
http://tinyurl.com/4x68msn
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 2107
Calamity Kate
Sandi: Daddy told me this story about Katie.
Katie: Don't believe everything he says. I need
an attorney.
Sandi: When Katie was pretty new to the house
she took off and was gone for about a week. Dad
was worried she was dead. A week later she showed
up.
Katie: Kidnapped! I was held against my will. I was
held in a house of gangsters, but I used my wits and
escaped. You should have seen me, a flurry of karate
moves.... E-Yah!
Sandi: Dad said you seem well fed and well taken care
of.
Katie: Gulp, well of course. I demanded fair treatment.
Geneva convention and that stuff ya know.
Sandi: That is seven lives so far Katie
To be continued
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Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
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In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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