Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
From The Archives since it is haying season Tractors Continued,
After the first summer of farming the F-20 died. It was in need of
an overhaul and new tires so it was beyond economical repair at that
time. My dad found a John Deere GP to replace it . Most of you
have seen a GP as it is the tractor shown at the beginning of Green
Acres except ours was green with a red flywheel on the side. The
John Deere had a hand clutch unlike the foot clutch on the Farmall
which my short legs couldn't reach at ten and so now I could drive a
tractor. The John Deere had a two cylinder engine with huge pistons
and a long stroke and you could hear one coming from a mile away
with its characteristic pucka pucka pucka sound. At idle the engine
ran so slow you could put it in gear, go in the house and get a cup
of coffee and catch it before it got to the driveway. One thing
that a lot of tractors didn't have back then was brakes. They had
come equipped with them but they had worn out over the years and to
replace them sometimes meant splitting the tractor in half. If you
were hooking up to a piece of machinery on an incline you learned to
let gravity back you up and then slipped the clutch in forward gear
until someone dropped the drawbar pin in. I never could understand
why so many people have trouble holding a car on an incline with the
clutch but then I had good training.
About that time my dad bought a second tractor, an Oliver 60 with a
foot clutch, a starter, and a 4 cylinder Chevy motor. It was a lot
lighter than the John Deere but it would mow or rake hay all day on
a 5 gallon can of gas. It had a foot clutch but I could reach it
with my foot. My dad was showing me in the front yard how to work
the clutch. I put it in reverse and started backing up towards the
house and as I got close I reached for the hand clutch and their was
none. I had forgotten about the foot clutch in about 20 seconds.
My dad was screaming to hit the clutch and finally a fraction of an
inch from the house I got the tractor stopped. I spent a lot of my
time on that tractor as my dad didn't sell it till after I was in
the navy.
Every farmer had a small tractor like that mostly the Ford 8N that
was used everyday do the smaller jobs around the farm. Even though
gas was only 20 cents a gallon back then you still didn't waste it.
The Oliver is still around. The plant supervisor at the flywheel
factory owns it and bought it to use at his cabin.
The John Deere was replaced with a Farmall F-30 when we bought our
first baler with its own 4 cylinder motor on it. The John Deere was
running a sawmill in a near by town when I last heard of it. When
we started baling hay we also bought a side delivery rake, 7 foot
mowers, and some newer wagons and we were cutting hay several miles
from the house. The Farmall had a road gear installed on it which
was a big gear that went on the engine and a small gear that went on
the neutral shaft on the transmission. When you put it in neutral
and engaged the road gear you could pull two loaded wagons at 25
miles per hour. We had a couple of steep hills on our road, one of
which had a narrow bridge at the bottom, and I was instructed to put
the tractor in a lower gear on the hills. I was pulling two wagons
full of hay with my brother on the second wagon watching for cars so
I could slow down and let them pass. My dad was following along
with the 1960 Chevy pick-up we had keeping an eye on me even though
I was almost 18 at that time. At the top of the hill with the
bridge instead of downshifting I gave it full throttle and headed
for the bridge.
When I went across the back wagon with my brother on it was whipping
from side to side so bad that it was scraping the bales against the
rails of the bridge. At the top of the hill I slowed down a little
bit and my dad came around the wagons and tried to cut me off. I
could tell by the look on his face that I didn't really want to talk
to him right then and I sped up and he was forced to get out of my
way. When we got to the house I expected an argument and a boot in
the butt which I probably deserved. My dad surprised me and
declared me an adult as he had been at my age and expected me to
make adult decisions in the future. My dad was brilliant. Instead
of being able to fall back on being just a dumb kid or a crazy
teenager, I was now a man and was expected to behave like one.
I still may never grow up completely but I did start thinking more
about what my dad would think if I made a mistake. Even now when I
do something stupid, I think that I am glad my dad isn't here to see
it even though I know he is probably still watching.
I'll wrap this up tomorrow and we will find something new to talk
about. Enjoy the chips... buffalo
buffalo says I was asked to comment on Detroit Lion's sweep
of pre-season including beating the Patriots. I was optimistic
but chose not to comment prematurely as those games are to test
various combinations of players and build a team not just to win games.
After winning the first two games of the season, including today's 48 to
3
win over the Chiefs, it looks like they are back in the game again. I am
a Lions fan and watched every game when they lost 16 straight but I
admit I really prefer to see them win.
Friends Luvin' Each Other
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We come from all walks of life and several generations!
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And
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Also have question of the day.
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See ya in the playground!!
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Bye Bye Bed Bugs
Afraid Yucky Bed Bugs May Be Lurking Where You Sleep?
Jam-packed guide offers the most effective, step-by-step
methods to get rid of bed bugs. Complete with valuable
prevention tips and Bonus Resource section not available
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Prison Chips
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PRISON PICK-UP LINES
- "Is that a zip-gun carefully carved out of a piece of discarded
metal found on the floor of the prison license-plate manufacturing
shop in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?"
- "Don't you prefer dropping bar soap instead of that liquid crap?"
- "Hold still while I staple this centerfold to the back of your
head."
- "Wanna make license plates after dark?"
- "That orange jumpsuit really brings out the red in your
freshly-healed
knife wound."
- "You look even better in person than you did on America's Most
Wanted."
- "If looks could kill, you'd get 25 to life."
- "You're getting your GED... wow, that makes me so H O T !!"
- "Is your name 'Escape Tunnel?' Because I've been digging you all
night."
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
why do women ....
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I should have told you
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ok Blondie
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Obama Chips
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Things you May or May Not hear at Obama Cabinet Meeting...
Top 10 Things You MIGHT NOT Hear In An Obama Cabinet Meeting:
10. That's a great idea! But I'm afraid it might be unconstitutional.
;-(
9. I don't know...even Rahm admits there's something about Glenn Beck
that makes him sexy.
8. That's ok, I can conduct the meeting without the teleprompters.
7. Next item on the agenda to address is...Country music, not
patriotic enough?
6. Oh look, news reporters....yay....
5. Look at all these crises! (Sigh) vacation canceled...
4. Golf can wait, so tell me more about this...what do you call it? Oh
yes yes, the "budget deficit."
3. 2-4-6-8 We will never race bait!
2. Sorry I'm late, I was reading the Arizona Immigration law.
1. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of
America.....
Top 10 Things You MIGHT Hear In An Obama Cabinet Meeting:
10. Since they have the agenda we can't start until the teleprompters
get here.
9. Sorry Joe, a big air conditioner wont stop global warming...
8. Thank you Ms. Sherrod for joining us on "bring your gaffe to work
day."
7. Lets make this quick, the czars are throwing me
a pizza party in 10 minutes.
6. Um, Mr. President, you called Hillary "senator" again
5. Can't we just use the stimulus money to buy an approval rating?
4. And then I told Hillary, "yeah it was in the Oval Office, but at
least *we're* married."
3. 2-4-6-8 America, depreciate!
2. Can I be vice president today daddy?
1. All right guys, who hacked my cellphone to make my text messages
say "LoL?"
Ross
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26 Feng Shui Secrets.
No Non-sense Feng Shui Secrets Of The Orient - Learn 26
Secrets To Increase Your Wealth, Harmony, And Romance!
http://tinyurl.com/3lree39
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Short Chips
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During the wedding reception in the family mansion, the bride's
Grandfather slipped her a $500 bill which she concealed in her
glove, since he told her to keep it for "mad money". By tradition,
the couple spent their first night together in the historic house.
Later the bride's Grandmother saw her sneaking down the stairs.
"Where are you goin?". "I left my gloves in the library, Grand-MaMa,
and it's important that I have them." "Oh you youngsters!!" the
Grandmother sighed. "You march yourself right back upstairs and grab
it with your bare hands like I did your Grandfather's!!
A cowboy walks into the dentist's office and after an examination
the dentist says, "That tooth has to come out. I'm going to give you
a shot of Novocain and I'll be back in a few minutes." The cowboy
grabs the doc's arm and says. "No way. I hate needles. I'm not
having any shot!"
So the dentist says, "Okay, we'll have to go with the gas." The
cowboy replies, "Absolutely not. It makes me very sick for a couple
of days. I'm not having gas." So the dentist steps out and comes
back with a glass of water, "Here, "he says. "Take this pill." The
cowboy asks, "What is it?"
The doc replies, "Viagra." The cowboy looks surprised and asks,
"Will that kill the pain?" "No," replies the dentist, "but it will
give you something to hold on to while I pull the tooth."
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Find Out About Ferrets.
The Complete Guide To Turning Your Fuzzy Into The Happiest,
Best-Behaved, And Healthiest Pet In The World!
http://tinyurl.com/3m8rvxw
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Wife Chips
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An Australian family is most concerned that their 30-year-old son is
unmarried. So they call a marriage broker and ask her to find their
son a good wife.
The broker comes over to their house and spends a long time asking
many questions of the son and his parents as to what they want in a
wife/daughter-in-law. They give her a long shopping list of
requirements.
The marriage broker takes a long time looking and finally asks to
visit the family again. She tells them of a wonderful woman she has
found. She says she's just the right age for the son... she keeps a
perfectly clean home... is of sober habits, and regularly attends
church every Sunday... she is a wonderful cook... she loves children
and wants a large family and, to top it all off, she's drop dead
gorgeous.
After hearing all this, the family is very impressed and begins to
get excited about the prospects of a wedding in the near future.
At this point, the son gets up the courage to ask, "Is she also good
in bed?"
And the marriage broker answers,
"That I'm not sure of.... Some say yes... some say no and some says
just so, so."
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Basement Waterproofing Manual
The complete basement waterproofing resource.
http://tinyurl.com/3gczy72
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
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My son asked me the other day, "Daddy, why were you and Mommy
wrestling in bed last night?"
I said, "Because Mommy likes to wrestle with Daddy. She thinks
she's good at it, but she always ends up getting pinned."
" I want to wrestle with Mommy too!" he announced.
"I'm sorry, son," I said. "You're not old enough and we're not in
Arkansas."
A guy from New York married a hillbilly girl. On the honeymoon, the
New Yorker asked his new bride if there was any difference in the
lovemaking of city guys and hillbillies.
She paused for a moment and said calmly, well you city guys walk up
and stick it in, but the hillbilly guys stick it in and then walk
up.
Needless to say that was the end of the conversation.
A man and his girlfriend are having a sexual encounter. He asks her
to "go downtown" so, with a sigh, she gets on her knees in front of
him and starts peering at his genitals, looking and tipping her head
this way and that, studying the whole business.
After a couple minutes of this, he asked her in a sort of peeved
voice, "Well, what the hell are you doing?"
She said, "I'm doing what I always do when I'm downtown with no
money.... just looking."
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Easy Pumpkin Painting
A must for Halloween, this Step-By-Step Guide offers instruction
and photos for painting cute, whimsical faces on pumpkins.
http://tinyurl.com/3saps6n
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Beer By the Pool
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How To Put On a Bra
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Knife Guy
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Ladder
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Never Trust a Woman
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Bud Light Cat
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Bud Ads
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Buddy Greene Harmonica
http://www.buffaloschips.com/1215.htm
Bud Light Clown
http://www.buffaloschips.com/1216.htm
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Date Chips
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My friend set me up on a blind date after my first divorce.
Well, he was a friend at the time.
Anyway, I called her up and said, "I can't take you anywhere really
expensive because I'm paying lawyers for a divorce right now."
She was cool. She said, "We can eat at Hardees, eight pieces of
chicken and four biscuits for $6.99." She was a husky girl (you
know, Sears catalog).
When we got to Hardees, she was moving! I only got two wings out of
everything! She wouldn't even butter her biscuits, she would pop a
biscuit and then do a butter chaser! I couldn't watch her eat the
chicken. She kept getting crumbs in her moustache. She would have
gotten it all if her teeth were in!
Don't get me wrong... I still did her!
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Toon Chips
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American Beauty
http://www.buffaloschips.com/42519.htm
First Time
http://www.buffaloschips.com/42520.htm
See you in Hell
http://www.buffaloschips.com/42521.htm
Cant Tell
http://www.buffaloschips.com/42522.htm
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Self-Sufficient-Life.com
Keeping and raising Chickens and Poultry. Build A Chicken Coop. Growing
your own fruit and vegetables. Beekeeping (Honey bees). Herbal Remedies,
Herbs, Remedy. Hydroponic Gardening, Hydroponics Garden. Building Your
Own Greenhouse.
http://tinyurl.com/4x68msn
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Limerick Chips
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There was a young woman named Maud
Who found herself now and then floored
--Or bedded, or chaired,
Or top of the staired--
Oh, well, it's the life of a broad.
___________________________________
There was a young woman named Jeannie
Who sobbed to her date, "You're a meanie".
You claim you're a stud
But, oh, what a dud!
Your prick is a real teeny-weeny.
___________________________________
There was a young whore from Kilkenny,
Who charged two fucks for a penny,
For half of that sum,
You could bugger her bum,
An economy practised by many
<Snagged by>
Ross
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Hovercraft Central.
Discover The Fun Scientific Innovations Allowing You To Build
Your Own Hovercraft.
http://tinyurl.com/3wz8nfo
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Parting Chips
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Seven Big Qualities To Be A Perfect Wife:
Beautiful,
Responsible
Energetic
Adorable
Sweet
Truthful and
Self-Organized
In short, she must have (preferably big) B.R.E.A.S.T.S.
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Electronics Repair
Schemes and Service Manuals
http://tinyurl.com/3twwmx5
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 2104
The Misadventures of Katherine
Sandi: I remember when father spent about two
thousand dollars on you when you spine was messed up.
Rudy: Yeah, I remember that. The doctors thought you
were a goner.
Val: I wasn't here then. What happened?
Sandi: Apparently while running in the woods Katie got
herself injured badly in the spine and it was leaking spinal
fluid. The docs gave her no chance of survival.
Rudy: She had a ball of fluid the size of a baseball on her side.
Katie: I only had a couple of days to live so ... I bit it off and
somehow it healed itself. They told me I might die while running
and my back might break. The next winter it happened again but
I broke the growth again but since then no problems.
Sandi: That is number 4 and 5 lives. A cat has 9.
To be continued
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Adult Adult
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Remember 9/11/01
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