[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For 9-8-11

 



Adult Adult

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How To Repair Your Sewing Machine.
Sewing Machine Repair As A Home Business Or For Your Self.

http://buffaloschips.com/sewma

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Baseball Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THE ADULT BASEBALL DICTIONARY

THE BASICS

On Deck - Having plans for a date
Strike-Out - Duh!! (No Date)
Walk - Kissing / No Tongues
Single - Tongue kissing
Double - Breasts/chest touched, some clothes off, lots of grabbing
and Feels.
Triple - Most of the clothes off, possible genital contact, mutual
masturbation.
Home Run - SEX!
Bunt - Masturbation
Foul tip - VD
Three up and three down - impotency.
Inside the park home run - Oral Sex.
Pre-Game Warm-up - Fore-play.
Ground Rule Double - would have sex, but no condom.
Balk - Premature ejaculation.
Error - Condom breaks during sex.
Double Play - Having two partners at the same time.
Loaded Bases - menage a trois.
Ground Out - Moving for first base but partner says, "Not on a
first date."
Banned for life for gambling - sex without condom.
Score Card - Number of times you orgasm vs. number of times
partner orgasms.
Grand Slam - Sex three times in twelve hours.
Corked Bat - Using Viagra

FIELD TERMS

Pine Tar - Synthetic Lubrication
Relief pitcher - Vibrator
Pinch Runner - Tag-team sex with your roommate
Fast ball - Three strokes DONE!
In a pickle - Getting caught cheating on a partner
Getting the signals crossed - Moving in for the home run and
ending up with a strike out.
Box Seats - Waterbed
Seventh Inning Stretch - Unusual positions
Rain Delay - parents/roommate return home unexpectedly.
Stranding the runner - You orgasm, your partner doesn't.

LEAGUE TERMS

Spectator - Peeping Tom
Forfeit - Date stands you up
Out of play - That time of the month
Cleared the bases - Changed the sheets
Bleacher Seats - Roommate's perspective while you are going at it
Suspended - Partner says they need some time alone
Being Traded - Being dumped for someone else
Free Agent - Recently dumped, currently unattached
Disabled list - Done it so much you can't stand
Ejected from game - Partner throws you off during rodeo sex

THE PLAYERS

Rookie - Virgin
Veteran - Prostitute
Talent Agent - Pimp
Scout - Someone scoping out your partner on a date
Minor Leagues - Under 18
All Stars Game - Doing it with your ex while still going out with
your present
Switch Hitter - Sex with her one night, and her brother the next.
Hall of Fame - When you ask "Was it good for you" and they say
"YES!!!"

PRACTICUM

Now that we have the definitions, let's quickly contrast the old
confusion with current clarity:

OLD WAY - We, um got to third base, I guess and then we, um got
like past third base, but not to home plate. I really like her...

NEW WAY - First, there was a triple, then we got an inside the
park home run, and started thinking, it's Hall of Fame time!

NEW WAY - So there I was with the bases loaded and nobody out,
when I balked during the seventh inning stretch and I had to call in a
relief pitcher. (Author Unknown)
.

Mojo

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

optical illusion
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r016.html

procrastination
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r017.html

cover me
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/r018.html

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Women Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"A Woman's Instruction Book"

1. If you think the way to a man's heart is through
his stomach you're aiming too high.

2. Women don't make fools of men -- most of
them are the do-it-yourself types.

3. The best reason to divorce a man is a health
reason: you're sick of him.

4. Never trust a man who says he's the boss at home.
He probably lies about other things too.

5. A woman's work that is never done is the stuff
she asked her husband to do.

6. If you want a nice man go for a bald one -- they
try harder.

7. Go for younger men. You might as well -- they
never mature anyway.

8. A man who can dress himself without looking like
Wurzel Gummidge is Turzel Gummidge..

9. Men are all the same -- they just have different faces
so you can tell them apart.

10. Definition of a man with manners -- he gets out of
the bath to pee.

11. Whenever you meet a man who would make a
good husband, you will usually find that he does already..

12. Scientists have just discovered something that can
do the work of five men -- a woman.

13. There are a lot of words you can use to describe men
-- strong, caring, loving -- they'd be wrong but you could
still use them.

14. Men are like animals -- messy, insensitive and potentially
violent, but they make great pets.

15. Men's brains are like the prison system -- not enough
cells per man.

16. There are only two four letter words that are offensive
to men - "don't" and "stop" (unless they're used together).

17. Husbands are like children -- they're fine if they're
someone else's.

18. If a man appears sexy, caring and smart give him a
day and he will be back to his usual self.

19. All men are like chickens with their heads cut off when
they see beautiful women pass by.

20. If your man appears happy, excited and keeps looking
at you all of a sudden he is probably checking out the
women behind you.

21. Figuring out men is like trying to make a jigsaw puzzle
in a car, once you think you have it all put together, you
find another piece but you don't know where it goes.

Randy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ultimate Mole Control: Eliminate Mole and Gopher Problems For Good
Program includes e-book and video tutorials on exactly how to
effectively eliminate moles and gophers from your yard. Trap moles and
gophers like an expert.

http://buffaloschips.com/gophe

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TV Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A farmer finally decided to buy a TV. The store assured him that
they would install the antenna and TV the next day. The next
evening the farmer turned on his new TV and found only political ads
on every channel. The next morning he turned the TV on and found
only political ads again. When he came in to eat lunch he tried the
TV again but STILL only found political ads. The next day when he
still found only political ads he called the store to complain. The
owner said that it was impossible for every channel to only have
political ads, but agreed to send their repairman to check the TV.
When the TV repairman turned on the TV he found that the farmer was
right! After looking at the TV for a while, he went outside to
check the antenna. In a few minutes he returned and told the farmer
he had found the problem.
The antenna had been installed on top of the windmill and the ground
rod was in the manure pile.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Little Kid Crafts For All Seasons
Discover Quick and Easy Crafts Guaranteed To Spark Your Child's
Imagination and Thirst for Learning and Create Lots of Family Fun For
Valentines Day, Easter, Summer, Autumn, or Anytime!

http://buffaloschips.com/kidcra

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man shows up for his first day of work aboard a cruise ship. He
soon discovers there are no women on board, so he seeks out the
captain. "Captain!" he says, "There are no women on this ship! What
will we do for pleasure?" "Not to worry, laddie," the captain says
as he walks the man over to a barrel. "Just stick your willie in the
hole in this barrel here. That'll take care o' ya!" The man is a
little ambivalent about this at first, but the next day he decides,
"What the heck?" and tries it. The sensation is wonderful! The man
begins to do this every day. He notices the other men aboard the
ship are doing it too. One day he does it and feels nothing. So he
seeks the captain out. "Captain!" he says, "I didn't feel anything
from the hole in the barrel today!" "Sorry, laddie, forgot to tell
ya," the captain says. "Today it's your turn to be in the barrel!"

The guy who delivers our office supplies has a heavy Portuguese
accent, and when he saw the National Geographic video about seals
sitting on the table he smiled broadly and shouted, "Foka! Foka!"
"No," I said, "If you fuck one of those in this country I'm pretty
sure you'll go to prison on some 'humping and en-dangered species'
charge." "No, no, no," he said quickly. "Foka mean 'seal' in
Portuguese." "I see," I said pointing to the big seal next to the
little seal in the picture. "So I'm betting that that's the mother
foka?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Train Your Horse & Cure Bad Habits!
EBook(R) Package Revealing Powerful And Effective Horse
Training Techniques Of Old Time Master Horse Trainers.

http://buffaloschips.com/hortra

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Potty Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Little Johnny was just being potty trained, and his mom tried this
new method with 6 steps:

1. Unbutton pants.

2. Pull pants down.

3. Pull foreskin back.

4. Pee.

5. Push foreskin forward.

6. Pull pants up and button.

She walked past the bathroom one day and heard Johnny saying,
"1,2,3,4,5,6" and she was thinking she did good.

Then she walked past the next day and heard him saying real fast
3-5,3-5,3-5...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How To Install A Flagstone Patio - Step By Step Guide
Complete step by step guide on how to install your very own flagstone
patio. In-depth instructions with over 50+ real photos.

http://buffaloschips.com/flasto

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends

Melva/Memories Of Grandma's Family Picnic
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Ann/Gra.html

Carol w/ God's Splendor
http://www.carolspoetry.com/07jan/4.html

Choices
http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/Pages/choices.htm

Best Friends
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/poems/bestfriends.html

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Vote for your favorite! Adidas or Nike?

http://buffaloschips.com/adidas

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Surfin Surfari

Make your own tombstone.
http://www.jjchandler.com/tombstone/

How Child Car Seats Work
http://auto.howstuffworks.com/child-car-seat.htm

Amazing Air Cars
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/aircars.html

Daily With The Troops
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/daily.html

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Indulge your inner shopaholic. Get a $1000 JCPenney Gift Card!

http://buffaloschips.com/jcpen

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)

Graphic Lines
http://www.lirmm.fr/bib-icons/Stanford/lines.html

Countdown Scripts
http://www.scripts.com/javascript-scripts/countdown-scripts/

Bubble Graphics
http://www.scri8e.com/effects/bubbles/index.php

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

$500 Costco Gift Card

http://buffaloschips.com/costco

Go Shopping at Wal-Mart with a $1,000 Gift Card

http://buffaloschips.com/walma

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Animal World

Feed The Shelter Dogs Via Day
http://www.freekibble.com/

Feed The Shelter Cats Via Day
http://www.freekibble.com/

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Spice It Up with a $1,000 Victoria's Secret Gift Card

http://buffaloschips.com/vicsec

Press here if you want a new 4G iPhone

http://buffaloschips.com/4g

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Movie Links

Anillocompromiso
http://www.buffaloschips.com/fjhgkhl.htm

Arab
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gtuhiuuh.htm

Baby Boomers Battle
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gtdfhgujghjh.htm

Beer
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jhvgjdkfghdkfg.htm

beer launcher
http://www.buffaloschips.com/hnjkdfjhgdklghg.htm

Lazy River Pee Prank
http://www.buffaloschips.com/asdwqw.htm

Leno Needs Body Guard
http://www.buffaloschips.com/agtrf.htm

Let the Beast Go
http://www.buffaloschips.com/acdsd.htm

Levis
http://www.buffaloschips.com/adewwrr.htm

Lip Balm Commercial
http://www.buffaloschips.com/axsdf.htm

Hoppalas Turnen
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gcfdrde.htm

In God We Trust
http://www.buffaloschips.com/azsxs.htm

Interessant Eierschlange
http://www.buffaloschips.com/awereew.htm

You Know That Has To Hurt
http://www.buffaloschips.com/aswsw.htm

Javelin Live Fire VS T72
http://www.buffaloschips.com/axdxs.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Speech Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

President Obama is scheduled to give a jobs speech Thursday night,
and it's bound to contain lots of euphemisms, because that's his
style. As a public service, we offer a translation of these euphemisms:

1. "Targeted measures" = Increased spending that would result from a
second stimulus program. Reason for euphemism: Obama can't use the
word "stimulus" anymore since the first one worked like gangbusters
and has ushered in a new era of good feeling.

2. "New sources of revenue" = Higher taxes. Reason for
euphemism: Obama can't say "higher taxes" because, well, most people
hate that crap.

3. "Millionaires and billionaires should pay their fair share" =
Reason for euphemism: In Obama-ese, higher taxes for "millionaires"
actually means everyone who earns over $200,000. That's inflation for
you!

4. "Investments" = More government spending. Reason for
euphemism: Obama can't say "more government spending" because there
are only 137 people outside of Washington, DC who want to hear that.

5. "Revenue enhancement" = Higher taxes. Reason for euphemism: See
#2.

6. "Shared sacrifices" = Higher taxes. Reason for euphemism: See #2
and #5.

7. "A balanced approach" = Increased spending coupled with higher
taxes. Reason for euphemism: Actually, this is known as a hybrid
euphemism, carefully constructed to conceal two things people don't
want to hear.

And, in case Obama addresses any issues not related to the economy,
here are some more helpful translations:

8. "Kinetic military action" = War.

9. "Overseas contingency operations" = War.

10. "Man-caused disasters" = Acts of terrorism.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A XXXmas Story
http://www.buffaloschips.com/0re.htm

Anger Management
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ohj9.htm

Angry Residents
http://www.buffaloschips.com/9j43.htm

Good Lickin
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kriw.htm

Anna Show
http://www.buffaloschips.com/iefj.htm

Anna's House
http://www.buffaloschips.com/5e6.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Secrets to Successful Candle Making
Discover The Secrets To Successfully Making Exquisite Candles At Home.
Learn All The Ins-And-Outs Of Working With Soy, Beeswax, Gel, And
More! - Years Of Research Invested In This Book Will Benefit Both The
Beginner And The Expert.

http://buffaloschips.com/canmak

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Whitey was a kid who had a knack
For running around the high school track
But one day his lance
Fell out of his pants
Now he is called tic tac.

There once was a preacher's daughter
Who resented the pony he bought her
Till she found that it's dong
Was as hard and as long
As the prayers her father had taught her

She married a man named Tony
Who soon caught her fucking the pony
He cried, "What's it got
My dear, that I've not?"
And she sighed, "just a yard-long bologna

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chicken Keeping Secrets - Guide To Keeping Backyard Chickens
Keeping Happy, Healthy, Egg Laying Chickens In Your Own Backyard.
Includes bonus materials including all back issues to our newsletter
(over 600 individual pages), and more.

http://buffaloschips.com/chisec

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Little humor came out of Irene's recent visit. However, the NY Times
did
find something to report in its ADVERTISING section last Tuesday (8/30).

The Times noted that two stores in Manhattan showed different
strategies in the face of the storm: A store specializing in "the
ultimate,
authentic outdoor brand" North Face clothing was closed both Saturday
and Sunday. Next door to it The Town Shop remained open. The Town
Shop sells lingerie. They advertised "Despite the massive storm ...
we are open today! We have no 'D' batteries ... but plenty of 'D' cup
bras!"

One wonders if he latter product would help in draining flooded
basements.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Computer Repair Home Study Course
Learn How to Repair Your Computer Today! -Save money on
costly repairs and even start your own business. Join thousands
of others who learned new skills, jump started their careers, made
extra money, and started their biz with the Computer Repair Course!

http://buffaloschips.com/comrepair

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 2100

Tami's Marathon

Tami is sneaking out of her home. The
time is about 5 am. She hopes by leaving
this early she can avoid the dogs.

Tami to herself: I have my bike, I have warmed
up. The weather is a bit brisk, but I am ready to
go.

Tami hops on her bike and starts down the
block: Looks like I made it!

Four modified bikes are waiting for her as
she rounded the turn...

Katie: Good morning Tami, we have had our
morning coffee, you?

Tami: A - A - A - A - R - R - R - R- G - G - G - H - H - H - H !!!

Val: What is wrong with Miss Tami?

Rudy: I think she is not awake yet.

The herd

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adult Adult

*********************************************

Remember 9/11/01

Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list

In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

__._,_.___
Recent Activity:
To Subscribe send a blank email to Buffalos-adult-jokes-subscribe@egroups.com

To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com

Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
MARKETPLACE

Stay on top of your group activity without leaving the page you're on - Get the Yahoo! Toolbar now.


A bad score is 579. A good idea is checking yours at freecreditscore.com.
.

__,_._,___

No comments:

Re-Slim Dunlap

Slimbob Dunlap was one in a million. The outpouring of love for him here in Minneapolis since the news broke is overwhelming. Everyone has a...