THE POSTMAN'S CORNER! I finally figured out the only reason to be alive is to enjoy it.Rita Mae Brown I hope every body has a great holiday!!!!!  If you're looking to make Big Profits From Home, You should check out SMC. This company has been around for over 60 years and have helped thousands start their own business. Sign up today for your free Success Guide by email. http://www.thepostm  Get your very own Smartphone today! A $200 value - Yours FREE The Samsung Glyde(TM) isn't your typical Smartphone. This ultra thin world phone packs all the latest features, 2MP camera, Sprint TV(SM) enabled, Full Touch Screen, Gliding QWERTY Keyboard, and Audible Navigation! Get your FREE Samsung Glyde(TM) today! http://www.thepostm  The Trek(R) Lime(TM) Lite Bike is the perfect form of transportation! This automatic three-speed is equipped with puncture proof tires and a handy under-seat trunk for storage. Whether it is used for a quick commute to school, work or an easy ride to a friends house " you'll save GAS and MONEY! Get the new Trek(R) Lime(TM) Lite Bike, a $560 value â€" FREE today! http://www.thepostm  PURELL Wipes, FREE*! Clean, Soft & FREE! Conveniently remove light soils and dirt from hands after being public places - Simply pop the top on your PURRELL sample and get rid of illness causing bacteria in just 15 seconds. Don't get sick when you can't wash your hands, use PURELL to help you stay happy, healthy & utterly germ-free! http://www.thepostm We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman  THE COMICS mailman helper http://www.thepostm healthy part http://www.thepostm Hurry up Eno http://www.thepostm George and I http://www.thepostm dive bomber http://www.thepostm the Lockhorns http://www.thepostm Garfield- http://www.thepostm  LETS GO TO THE MOVIES American cowgirl http://www.thepostm new secret weapon http://www.thepostm federal employees http://www.thepostm dumb cops http://www.thepostm Young Penelope informed her momma that she had let her date with Pierre go a bit too far and now feared she might have a bun in the oven... "Didn't I tell you if any guy touches your boobs say 'don't' and if he touches your pussy say 'stop'?" asked the exasperated mom. "But mom," answered Penelope, "he touched them both at the same time!" ____________ A man, standing nude, looks in the bedroom mirror and says to his wife, 'I feel horrible'.'I look fat, ugly and out of shape'. 'Pay me a compliment.' "There is nothing wrong with your eyesight." ____________ Three women: one engaged, one married and one a mistress, are chatting about their relationships and they each decide to amaze their men. That night all three will wear black leather bras, black stockings, stiletto heels and a mask over their eyes. After a few days they meet up for lunch. The engaged woman says: The other night my boyfriend came over and found me in the black leather bodice, stockings, tall stilettos and mask. He took one look and said, 'You are the woman of my life. I love you madly. 'Then we made love all night long.The mistress says: Me too! I met my lover at his office and I was wearing the leather bodice, stockings, heels, a mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but we had wild sex all night. The married woman says: I sent the kids to stay at my mother's house for the night. When my husband came home I was wearing the black leather bodice, stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. As soon as he came in the door and saw me he said, 'What's for dinner, Batman?' ____________ Two friends, an Italian boy and a Jewish boy, come of age at the same time. The Italian boy's father presents him with a brand-new pistol. On the other side of town, at his Bar Mitzvah, the Jewish boy receives a beautiful gold watch. The next day in school, the two boys are showing each other what they got. It turns out that each boy likes the other's present better, and so they trade. That night, when the Italian boy is at home, his father sees him looking at the watch. "Where did you getta thatta watch?" asks the man. The boy explains that he and Sammy had traded. The father blows his top. "Whatta you? Stupidda boy? Whatsa matta you? "Somma day, you maybe gonna getta married. Then maybe somma day you gonna comma home and finda you wife inna bed with another man. Whatta you gonna do then? Looka atta you watch and say, "How longa you gonna be?" ____________ A certain Russian starship navigator was the only survivor of a shuttle craft landing on a disputed planet. Unfortunately he had landed in Klingon territory and was promptly captured by two Klingons who claimed he was spying. Alas, the Klingons had lost their own transportation and their communicators in the same ion storm, so they had to march on foot and did not reach their destination till nightfall.Around the campfire the Klingons began to bore the young man with boast of Klingon strength and machismo. Finally the Russian said, "That's not so tough. In Russia we're so tough we play Russian Roulette instead of poker." The Klingons asked what was so tough about Russian Roulette and were fascinated by the Starfleet officer's description of the "sport". "That is indeed an exhilarating sport and an honorable death for the losers. Do you think you can teach us this game if we untie your hands?," asked the leader. Seeing an opportunity to get his hands free and on a phaser or blaster, the young navigator agreed. His hands were untied and he explained again the basic concept of placing a weapon to your head and firing with the possibility that it would not kill you and then passing it to the next person. The officer reached for his phaser in the stack of his confiscated goods but was stopped by a rough Klingon hand. "Wait!" The Klingon grinned evilly as he said, "You're trying to trick us. Well we're to smart for you." The navigator's heart stopped as the Klingon paused and lifted his blaster. "I'll go first!" Whereupon, to the Russian's amazement the Klingon idiot pointed the blaster to his head and fired. As the headless corps fell to the ground, the Russian lunged for the fallen weapon. But alas, he was not fast enough. His arm was rudely twisted behind his back by the second Klingon who leaned forward and took the blaster from his fallen comrade's hand. Laughing menacing, the second Klingon said, "Hah! I am not so stupid as you think. I know how this works. Now it's my turn!" ____________ The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed way too qualified for the job. Look Miss," said the foreman, "have you any actual experience in picking lemons?" "Well, as a matter if fact, yes!" she replied. "I've been divorced three times." ____________ Q. How is being at a singles bar different than being at the circus? A. At the circus, the clowns don't talk. Q. Why did the woman cross the road? A. Never mind that, what the hell is she doing out of the kitchen? ____________ The Presidential election was too close to call. Neither the Republican candidate nor the Democratic candidate had enough votes to win. There was much talk about ballot recounting, court challenges, etc., but a week-long ice fishing competition seemed the sportsmanlike way to settle things. The candidate that caught the most fish at the end of the week would win the election. Therefore, it was decided that there should be an ice fishing contest between the two candidates to determine the winner. After much of back and forth discussion, it was decided that the contest take place on a remote frozen lake in northern Minnesota .There were to be no observers present, and both men were to be sent out separately on this isolated lake and return at 5 P.M. with their catch for counting and verification by a team of neutral parties. At the end of the first day, John McCain returned to the starting line and he had ten fish. Soon, Obama returned and had no fish. Well, everyone assumed he was just having another 'bad hair' day or something and hopefully, he would catch up the next day. At the end of the 2nd day John McCain came in with 20 fish and Obama came in again with none. That evening, Harry Reid got together secretly with Obama and said, 'Obama, I think John McCain is a low-life, cheatin' son-of-a-gun. I want you to go out tomorrow and don't even bother with fishing. Just spy on him and see just how he is cheating.'The next night (after John McCain returns with 50 fish), said to Obama, 'Well, tell me, how is John Mc. cheating?'Obama replied, 'Harry, you're not going to believe this, but he's cutting holes in the ice.' Buffalo Bill Talking Italian http://www.buffalos Tattoo Remover http://www.buffalos Rocking Horse Ride http://www.buffalos PAPA THORN Are You Ready? http://able2laugh. Virgin Sacrifice http://able2laugh. Finger-Lickin- THAT'S ALL FOLKS Have a nice day FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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