Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
It has been a busy week but with any luck I should be farther
ahead next week as I already have a few of the tasks like
my bloodwork knocked off the list. Other items like chauffeuring
Buffy because her downtown parking pass expired will continue
for awhile and I dearly loved sleeping in in the morning.
The past two days have been sidewalk sales and all of the businesses
downtown have had displays of merchandise to attract customers, some
of which have been marked down and others that may have been
marked up at a chance of turning a quick profit. The whole
atmosphere
has been that of a street fair with food and soft drink vendors and
attractions like feet painting and inflatable playrooms for the
children.
I took Eva with us to pick up a few groceries and on the way back
stopped at McDonald's and got her and Sandy Wild Berry Smoothies.
We stopped at the Credit Union to cash a check and the teller sent
Eva out three Tootsie Roll Pops. We stopped at Buffy's Tuxedo Shop
and Buffy showed Eva off to some of the other business owners. I
took Eva over to one of the inflatable playhouses which had about a
dozen small kids bouncing around in it and let her unwind a bit
while
Buffy and Sandy wrestled mannequins back into the Tux Shop. Eva
loved it but I paid for it later. My ankles were swelled up and
throbbing
like someone had been beating them with a baseball bat from all
of the walking and standing. I guess I should be wearing granny
stockings again but they are such a pain to pull on and cost 75.00
a pair.
The website move seems to be going well and with any luck will be
done
by tomorrow with no problems or interruptions.
Enjoy the chips and have a great weekend.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Vegas Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend
to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing
left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket-if
he could just get to the airport he could get himself home. So he
went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting.
He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie.
He promised to send the driver money from home,
he offered him his credit card numbers, his driver's
license number, his address, etc., but to no avail.
The cabbie said, "If you don't have fifteen dollars, get
the hell out of my cab!" So the businessman was
forced to hitchhike to the airport and was barely in
time to catch his flight.
One year later the businessman, having worked long
and hard to regain his financial success, returned to
Vegas and this time he won big. Feeling pretty good
about himself, he went out to the front of the casino to
hail a cab ride back to the airport.
Well, who should he see out there, at the end of a long
line of cabs, but his old buddy who had refused to give
him a ride when he was down on his luck.
The businessman thought for a moment about how he
could make the guy pay for his lack of charity, and he hit
on a plan. The businessman got in the first cab in the
line, "How much for a ride to the airport," he asked?
"Fifteen bucks," came the reply. "And how much for you
to give me a blow job on the way?"
"What?! Get the hell out of my cab."
The businessman got into the back of each cab in the
long line and asked the same questions, with the same
result. When he eventually reached his old 'friend' at
the back of the line, he got in and asked, "How much
for a ride to the airport?"
The cabbie replied "fifteen bucks." The businessman
said, "Okay," and off they went. Then, as they drove
slowly past the long line of cabs the businessman gave
a big smile and thumbs up sign to each driver.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Pot Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
You know you are really high when:
1. It takes an hour to cook minute rice.
2. You sell your car for gas money.
3. You think a quarterback is a refund.
4. Your friend takes a hit and says, that stone got me
really hit.
Q. What do you call a cop with an ounce of primo Pot?
A. The fucking cop who busted me.
Q. Did you herar they're gonna make the Dallas Cowboys
start playing on a natural turf?
A. Yah! they're already snorting all the lines and smoking
all the grass.
A hippy was seen crawling down some railway tracks.
When asked if there was a problem, he said, yeah man, can you help
me off this ladder.
Q. Which end of the joint should one light?
A. The end thats not in your mouth.
Q. How is the Ohio State Buckeyes and marijuana the
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Q. What do you do if a stoner throws a hand grenade at
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Q. How do you stop an army of stoners on horseback?
A. Turn off the carousel.
Q. What do potheads catch when they go fishing?
A. Red-eyes and cottonmouth.
Q. Whats the difference between a bong for breakfast
and anal sex?
A. One makes your day, but the other makes your
hole weak.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Dog Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man wanted an attack dog to protect his business, so he
visited a kennel that specialized in attack dogs.
The man explained to the kennel owner that he wanted the
biggest,meanest, most vicious dog in the kennel, and the
owner offered to take the man on a tour of the premises.
After they had been walking for a few minutes, they came
upon a large dog. He was snarling loudly and biting and clawing
at the cage.
"He looks like he'd be a pretty good attack dog," said the buyer.
"Well, he's not bad," replied the owner, "but I have something
better in mind for you."
They continued walking around the premises, and after a while
they found an even larger,meaner dog than the first.
He snarled at the two men and tried to bite them through the wire
on his cage.
"Ah," said the buyer. "This must be the dog you were referring to
earlier."
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you."
The men continued their tour. Eventually, they came upon a fairly
large dog that was lying quietly on his side, licking his ass.
He did not seem to notice as the men approached.
"This is the dog I had in mind for you," said the owner.
The buyer was flabbergasted. "You're joking!" he exclaimed.
"This dog seems quite tame; he doesn't act at all like an attack
dog at all. Hell, he's just lying there, licking his ass!"
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lawyer, and he's trying to get the taste out of his mouth."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The doctor tells his patient: "Dianne, I have some good news and
some
bad news."
Dianne asks for the good news first.
"Well, the test results are in, and the good news is that you aren't
suffering from Pre-menstrual Syndrome, as you'd feared."
"And the bad news?" Dianne asks.
To which the Doc replies: "I'm afraid there's no cure for being a
natural bitch."
Moshe was recovering in hospital from prostate surgery. To make
matters worse, his surgeon had told him that it would be six weeks
before he could be sexually active again.
Peter visited him to wish him well.
Robert visited him to wish him a speedy recovery.
His partner Abe visited his wife.
One night after his evening service, a priest decided
to take a walk. A wrong turn led him into the red light
district. On the first corner, he saw a hooker dressed
in a halter and hot pants leaning against a lamp post.
Seeing the fallen woman, the priest went up and said,
"My dear, I have spent my nights praying for you."
"No need to do that, Father," the hooker said. "I'm
here every night. You can have me any time you want."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Halloween Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Top Ten Reasons You Won't Win the Halloween Costume Contest
10. After your roommate insisted on being the front legs, you
began to suspect that a burrito dinner wasn't such a good
idea.
9. "Hey! Blue dress with a stain and a cigar! Why didn't I
think of that?"
8. You can't get the zipper on your Bill Clinton costume to
stay down.
7. Looks like "Viagra Man" will be spending Halloween in jail
for indecent exposure.
6. Something in her eyes tells you there was an inherent flaw
in your plan of dressing up as the hostess's dead husband in
order to get laid.
5. The Bride of Frankenstein had big, pointy hair and a small
round ass, not the other way around.
4. 'Cause you should know that wearing a white sheet in
Atlanta could only lead to getting your ass whupped,
Homeboy.
3. Your "Naked Linda Tripp" costume is actually more
nauseating than scary.
2. The judges wrongly interpreted your "Liposuction
Byproduct" costume as a "Bowl of Tapioca Pudding" costume.
1. *Nobody* likes a farting clown.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hunting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Paddy decides to go rabbit hunting , but when he gets to his
favorite field he sees the village priest is already there.
Paddy watches with fascination as the priest holds his finger
over a rabbit hole and immediately a rabbit pops out.
The priest grabs it and puts it into a sack. He repeats this
unusual but very successful technique until his sack is full of
rabbits.
Paddy stops the priest and asks him how he does it.
"Easy,"says the priest."Put your finger on your wife's pussy
and then hold it over a rabbit hole.They can't resist the smell, so
when they come out,grab them."
Paddy rushes home to find Maureen bent over scrubbing the
floor.He lifts up her skirt and applies his finger as directed.
Without looking up, Maureen giggles, "Holy Moses, Father!
Rabbit hunting again?""
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
MR. ETERNITY
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Movies
Pharma
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Pillows
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Pole Dancer Bites The Dust
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Incredible 11 YR Old Yodeler
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Jump
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Kayak
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Elastic Band
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Working Late
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Bottle Opener
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Bad Hair Cut
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pick-up Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man walks up to a woman sitting alone at a bar. "Okay, so I came
over here to ask you to dance, but I'm kind of concerned. I mean, we
could hit it off really well, end up having a few drinks, next thing
you know you're giving me your number because I'm too shy to ask for
it. I finally get up the nerve to call and we take in a movie, have
some dinner. I relax, you relax, we go out a few more times, get to
know each other's friends, spend a lot of time together, then
finally get past this sexual tension and develop this intense sex
life, that is truly incredible. Decide our relationship is solid and
stable, so we move in together. Then a few months later get married,
I get a promotion, you get a promotion, we buy a bigger house. You
really want kids, but I really want freedom, but we have a kid
anyway, only to find that I am resentful, the sparks start to fade
and to rekindle them we have two more lovely kids. Now I work too
much to keep up with the bills, have no time for you. Now you're
stressed and stop taking good care of yourself. So to get past our
slow sex life and my declining self-confidence I turn to an outside
affair for sexual gratification. You find out because I'm careless
and a lousy liar, you throw me out (justifiably so). We have to
explain to the kids why mommy and daddy are splitting up. That's
just too sad. Think about the children. So, for God's sake, if you
dance with me and we hit it off, let's just keep it sexual, because
we both know where it's going."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chicken
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Mid-Life
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Differences
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Mouse Gator
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Computer Tree
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Sticky Art
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Coke Job
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Stripper Strike
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Billy's Plan
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Virginity YES
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He-She
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Romance
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property management
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another reject
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dogs and snowmen
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A lissom psychotic named Jane
Once kissed every man on a train;
Said she: "Please don't panic!
I'm just nymphomanic.
It wouldn't be fun were I sane."
Ginger was feeling quite gruff
'Til he placed his head in her muff
Then she purred like a kitty
When his tongue hit her clitty
Saying, "I just cannot get enough!"
A chancre-pocked bedridden whore
Developed a putrid cunt-sore.
Her sheets and her cooze
Got crispy with ooze
And stalagmites formed on the floor.
<Snagged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A young man moved into a new apartment of his own and went to the
lobby to put his name on his mailbox. While he was there,an
attractive
young lady in a robe came out of her apartment next to the
mailboxes.
The guy smiled at the young woman, and she started a conversation
with
him. As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that
she had nothing else on.
The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact.
After
a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, "Let's go to
my apartment. I hear someone coming."
He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned
against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely. Now nude, she
purred at him, "What would you say is my best feature?'
Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, "It's got to be your
ears."
Astounded and a little hurt, she asked, "My ears? Look at these
breasts; they are full and 100% natural. I work out every day, and
my
butt is firm and solid. Look at my skin -- no blemishes anywhere.
How
can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?"
Clearing his throat, he stammered...
heard
someone coming... that was me.
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Paul and I were talking one day when Paul says, "I went to see the
doctor the other day for that pain in my back."
"So what happened?" I asked.
"Well, he ran a bunch of tests, gave me some pills and sent me home.
Told me to stay in bed for a week. He also told me to sit down
whenever I had to pee. Can you imagine that? A grown man having to
sit to pee?"
"Why would he want you to sit to pee?" I asked.
"Well", said Paul, "With my bad back, he doesn't want me picking up
anything too big."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1379
The Arrival Cont
Time passes....
Rudy: What was that scream Katie?
Katie: Maybe it was a human sacrifice. Bi-peds are strange people.
Sandi comes to the waiting room
Sandi: She had a boy.
Rudy: Does it have white hair?
Sandi: No, he doesn't have any hair.
Katie: That is odd. How many in her litter?
Sandi: Just one.
Rudy: Just one? That huge stomach and just one?
Sandi: I know that is strange.
Katie: Did she name the bi-ped?
Sandi: Yes, David Cole III.
Rudy: Where are the other two?
Sandi: There are not two others.
Katie: Bi-peds are strange.
Rudy: Let's go see her. I got her a milk bone.
Katie: I picked up a rawhide toy from the counter.
Sandi: Good idea, she will like those.
Jess: Nice to see you guys.
Rudy: Got you a present. It is a milk bone.
Katie: I got you a rawhide toy.
Jess starts to get tears in her eyes.
Jess: I will keep these forever guys. Thanks.
Sandi: You can chew on them now if you want.
Jess: No, I want to save these to remind of this
day.
Rudy: Okay little mini-Tami. You go to sleep and
we will go home. The little tyke looks cute. It is
housebroken yet?
Jess: No, it will take a year or so.
Katie: Darn bi-peds are strange.
The herd in Guthrie
(Jess had her baby last week and Congrats to Tami who is a grandma)
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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