[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

 
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
 
 


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Strength continues to return to my body, as the last vestiges of this
pnuemonia fade. You know, you don't appreciate things you have like
good health until you do not have them. Then when changes occur in
your life, you appreciate those things. 

One thing I do appreciate is "the war department." She has taken this 
week off to play nurse maid. I told her that I could manage, and she said, 
"Nothin doin buddy. You're the most important thing in my life and I'm gonna 
make sure you get your health back." I'm thinkin I'm glad I married her,
ya know? 

Things are not all rosey yet. The motorcycle sits and languishes in the
shed, as I have no strength to ride yet. but those things will all take care
of themselves in due time.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

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The comics

fat free
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chainsaw
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A man comes running to the doctor shouting and screaming in pain.
"Please doctor you've got to help me. I've been stung by a bee."
"Don't worry;" says the doctor, "I'll put some cream on it."
"You will never find that bee. It must be miles away by now."
"No, you don't understand!" answers the doctor, "I'll put some cream on
the place you were stung." "Oh!  It happened in the garden in back of my house."
"No, no, no!" says the doctor getting frustrated, "I mean on which part of your body
did that bee sting you." "On my finger!" screamed the man in pain. 
"The bee stung me on my finger and it really hurts." "Which one?" the doctor.
"How am I supposed to know?  All bees look the same to me!"
__________________
 
 A German, an American and an Englishman were exploring the
jungle when they came across an breathtakingly beautiful waterfall.
After admiring it for a while, the American says, "When I look at this
waterfall, I think  of the great American Constitution, you know, where
every atom of water is like an individual who has the freedom to make
it's own way through the world in unison with nature". The German says,
"When I look at this waterfall, I think of the great German economy,
strong and powerful and smooth running".The Englishman, when
asked about his thoughts says, "When I look at this
waterfall, I think of oral sex".
The American and the German look at him in amazement.
"What is it about this waterfall makes you think of oral sex?"
"Uh. everything I look at makes me think of oral sex".
_______________
 
One day a mathematician decides that he is sick of math. So, he
walks down to the fire department and announces that he wants to
become a fireman. The fire chief says, "Well, you look like a good guy.
I'd be glad to hire you, but first I have to give you a little test." The
firechief takes the mathematcian to the alley behind the fire
department which contains a dumpster, a spigot, and a hose.
The chief then says, "OK, you're walking in the alley and you see
the dumpster here is on fire. What do you do?" The mathematician
replies, "Well, I hook up the hose to the spigot, turn the water on,
and put out the fire." The chief says, "That's great... perfect. Now I
have to ask you just one more question. What do you do if you're
walking down the alley and you see the dumpster is not on fire?"
The mathematician puzzles over the question for awhile and he
finally says,  "I light the dumpster on fire."The chief yells, "What?
That's horrible! Why would you light the dumpster on fire?"
The mathematician replies,  "Well, that way I reduce the problem to one
I've already solved."
______________
 
Danny was not too smart of a guy.  Everyday when he walked home
from work, he would get stopped by three nasty men and they would
beat him up and steal his money. Finally, Danny decided that it would
serve his best interest to walk a different route and then take up some
self-defense classes so this wouldn't happen again.  He joined a karate
class and soon was doing very well to defend himself.So, one day, on
the way home from work Danny took his old route home and sure
enough there they were.  He walked up to them and the battle ensued. 
The next afternoon Danny went to his karate class with a black eye,
a broken nose and a busted lip.His instructor, shocked, asked him
what happened.  "Well," explained Danny, "I took my old way home
last night so I could beat these guys up who were stealing my money..."
"Yes," said his instructor, "then what happened?" 
"Well, they beat me up before I could get my shoes and socks off."
___________________
 
Two college coeds were having a beer. One said to the other,
"Mandy was so excited when she found out she was pregnant.
She called me late one night after my boyfriend and I had already
gone to bed." What on earth did she want?" her friend asked.
"Oh... She just said, "I can't believe I have a person inside me !"
I said, "So do I. Could I call ya back in an hour or so?"
________________
 
Why Dogs are NOT  In Politics...
 
* They work well together.
 
* They work for the good of the pack.
 
* They protect their young and their elders.
 
* They do not kill indiscriminately.
 
* They do not lie, cheat or steal.
 
* They won't spend money redecorating the White House.
 
* They do not read Newspapers, watch TV or give interviews.
 
* Their don't wear designer clothes.
___________

Buffalo Bill
 
 
 
 
 
That's All folks!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman


 

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