Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Last week I mentioned the plights of some of the other publishers
that had disappeared from the net and I included Lorraine from
Lablaughs whose site had been turned off while she was in the
process of transferring to a cheaper server. Many of us in this
business work on a shoestring just to continue the friendships that
we have made over the years, but Lorraine has additional
problems as she is confined to a wheelchair with MS and she
has to be so tight with her money that George Washington has blood
blisters when she finally lets go of it. I talked to the person who
will be hosting her site and he is working on getting the content
moved.
Tuesday morning I got a call from Lorraine that her computer had
crashed while working on her lists and had a corrupted file
somewhere that was preventing it from rebooting. After consulting
with Nancy as she had helped out before when they replaced the hard
drive, we asked her to try a repair install which would allow her to
keep all of her archived material she uses to write her lists.
Lorraine said she would let me know how things went.
Lorraine has twin teenage sons and if you have raised teenagers
they can be pretty manipulating but with their mom in a wheelchair I
think they flat out intimidate her at times. In this case one
decided
that her newsletters had kept him from playing games when he
wanted and did a clean install of XP deleting everything she had
on the hard drive. Furthermore he told her that she couldn't use the
computer till they return to school. Unfortunately she loves her
children
and has a respect for the law so she can't do what I would do in the
same case, where he would wake up in the morning with a frying pan
hangover.
I would like to be able to help Lorraine but barring me hitting the
lottery that won't be happening. All of my money is tied up in gas
futures, like a tankful to take me to my doctor's appointments and
do shopping and errands. Hopefully Lorraine will be back on line
next month and things
will go right for her and we will enjoy her work again.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
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Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Penis Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gary and Martin were standing at the urinals in a public lavatory,
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"Like what?" Martin said. "All twisted like a pig's tail," Gary
said.
"Well, what's yours like?" Martin said.
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Gary finished what he was doing and started to give his old boy a
shakedown prior to putting it back in his pants.
"What did you do that for?" Martin said.
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My son often leaves yellow sticky messages for me on my computer
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I'd change the accents; my-dixie-Wrecked. My-dixie-wrecked.
My-Dixie-wrecked. It was driving me nuts. My son finally got home
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better than me.
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Prison Chips
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The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I
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we do is: put the prisoner in the prison.
And then they made love for the first time.
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satisfaction.
Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to
have escaped."
Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-
imprison him."
After the second time they spent, they guy reaches for his
cigarettes But the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of
making love, gives him a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is
out again!"
The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a
recently born foal. Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally
exhausted.
She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."
Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, it's not a life
sentence!"
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day, after a man had his annual physical, the
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After watching a rather hot love scene on cable,
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"How come you never make love to me like that?"
"Are you kidding me?? Do you have any idea how
much they pay those people to do that??"
The Young Whippersnapper goes into a bar and
picks up a tall woman. After a night of drinking
and dancing they go back to his place. She unzips
his fly and starts playing with his dick.
"Wow," he says, "you handle that so well...."
"I should," she replies, "I used to have one just like it ... only
longer!"
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A newlywed couple who were both avid baseball
fans attended a game at Yankee Stadium. They were
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hugging and kissing so much that they weren't
able to follow the game.
After a couple of seconds of thought the young
bride says, "I've got an idea, honey. You kiss me
on the strikes and I'll kiss you on the balls."
Things Not To Say During Sex
* Hurry up, the game's about to start.
* You're so much like your sister . . .
* Your best friend does it much better.
* Stop moaning, you sound so stupid.
* Of course you can't be on top, you're too fat, you'll kill me!
* It's OK honey, I can just imagine that it's bigger.
(* phone rings) Hello? ... Oh nothing much. You? Just hanging
around ...
I just got a copy of "People's 100 Most Beautiful
Women". I have searched cover to cover, and I
still can't find the order form.
The other night my wife and I were making love
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I asked her "what's the big hurry?"
She replied, "I didn't say that. I thought it was you."
Then we both heard it again from the next apartment, 'Climax...So nu
CLIMAX ! '
Later we found out the little old Jewish lady who
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go up a ladder.
Subject: What retirees do best!!!
I have often been asked, 'what do you older people do now that
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'Well, I have a retired neighbor who has a chemistry background and
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Things That Will Never Happen In Your Lifetime #42
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/1247.htm
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How To Make Love
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~~~~
There once was this guy called Mike,
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He tried to get near,
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cause the chick was a full-fledged dyke.
~~~~
There once was a man from Peru
Who had a lot of growing up to do,
He'd ring a doorbell,
then run like hell,
Until the owner shot him with a .22
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stuck in a strange city by bad weather, the drinker was bored. He
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"
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interrupted the bartender.
A few minutes later the gent tried again, "People say about
the Pope ... "
"No religion talk, either," the bartender cut in.
"Look, how about sex. Can I talk sex?"
"Sure."
"Then fuck you."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After a long-overdue checkup, my dentist sat down with me
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1398
The Sleepathon
Diana: So the first contest is who can sleep the longest?
BJ: Yes, and Sandi has entered. I haven't seen her for a day.
Rudy: I think she will be fine.
Announcer: The contestants are in place...On your Mark
Get set
Sleep.
BJ: Boy Sandi's head dropped like a rock and listen to her snore.
Diana: Let's go over to the mile run and we can check back on Sandi
later.
Announcer: The mile run features Katherine Kassity in lane one,
Greyhound Bob in lane two and Jamican Jane in Lane three...and their
off!
Rudy: Does Katie have a chance against a greyhound?
Diana: She runs everyday and is very fast.
BJ: They are neck and neck at the first lap with three laps to go.
Diana: Katie really runs fast and she is so pretty to watch when
she runs.
Rudy: That is not what you say when you want to catch her Toots.
Diana: Well that is different.
BJ: It is a two dog race between Bob and Katie...with one lap to
go. Look Katie has kicked it into high gear and the greyhound has
stopped!
Diana: Katie wins! Katie wins!
To be continued
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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