Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I went back to the eye doc today to get some glasses. The diabetes
has nothing to do with it this time, it's just old age. I told them
I was
having trouble reading phonebooks and pill bottles and the computer
screen was a bit blurry. They agreed that it was only because I was
old and they could fix me up with whatever I needed till I asked the
doctor for the 21 in. flat screen monitor he was using and they
narrowed
my choices to just glasses.
While I was waiting for my appointment the downtown area got hit
by a couple of lightning bolts and they were loud. I was told it hit
the
century old Methodist church about a block away and then bounced
across the street and hit the senior citizen's center. Makes you
wonder
what Methodists and old people have been doing to be targeted by
lightning.
Many of you have asked for a way to download the movies that we play
on the site. Nothing could be simpler as Internet Explorer makes a
copy
of each movie in your temporary internet files as you watch them.
Go to Internet Explorer and click on Tools
Next click on Internet Options
Then under Browsing History click settings
Then click View Files
It will list Every Movie Flash Presentation, JPEG and webpage you
have visited
since you cleaned out the files last.
Just highlight the movie you want and copy it or drag it into a
folder on your
desktop and you have your own copy.
You can do the same thing with Firefox but if your on AOL I have no
idea.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Darling," murmured the girl to her boyfriend, "when did you first
realize that you were in love with me?"
"Well, I suppose," whispered the man tenderly, "it was when I
started getting angry with all the other guys in the office who said
you were a lousy lay."
There was a great eruption of a south sea island volcano, and the
witch doctor appealed to the tribal chief, demanding that a virgin
be sacrificed to appease the volcano.
The chief apologized, "I've used up all the virgins myself, so I
guess we'll just have to get used to the noise."
"Your honor, " explained the young man, "I'd like to get married,
please."
"All right, what is your age?"
"I'm 22, sir."
"And the age of the bride?"
"She's 15, sir."
"15??? That's too young -- marrying you would be against the law!"
"I see, " said the young man. "Could you try explaining that to the
fella next to her with the shotgun?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Tit Mans Dream
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Got Him By the Handle
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86 Rules Of Boozing
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Poor Mom
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Call Me
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Period Dress
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Clock Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
An American tourist was visiting in the Netherlands. During his
stay in Amsterdam his watch stopped running. He asked one of the
locals where he could get his watch fixed. The tourist was guided
to the Jewish section of town. He was then directed toward a shop
that had clocks displayed in the window. The American tourist
entered the shop. Inside, behind a desk, sat an elderly Jewish man
with a full beard.
TOURIST: Hello.
JEWISH MAN: Hello.
TOURIST: I came here to have my watch fixed.
JEWISH MAN: Sorry, I don't fix watches. I am a Mohel.
TOURIST: What's a Mohel?
JEWISH MAN: A Mohel is a Jewish Man who performs ritual
circumcisions.
TOURIST: Ritual circumcisions! But why do you have all those clocks
in the window?!
JEWISH MAN: What would you want me to have in my window?
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Condom Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A population control program had been introduced to the island, but
the medical men were having trouble getting the women to take their
birth control pills, They decided, therefore, to concentrate on
teaching the men to wear condoms. One of the men who came in had
had eight children in eight years, and the doctor told him that he
absolutely had to wear a sheath. He explained that as long as he
wore it his woman could not have another baby.
About a month later, the wife came in and she was pregnant. The
doctor got very angry. He called the man in and gave him a long
lecture through an interpreter. He asked the man why he hadn't worn
the sheath.
The interpreter said, "He swears he did wear it. He never took it
off."
The doctor shook his head. "In that case, ask him how in the hell
his wife is pregnant again?"
"He says," said the interpreter, "that after six days he had to take
a piss so badly that he cut the end off."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Blonde Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A wife comes home unexpectedly one day and finds her husband in bed
with a lady midget. Upset and furious over his actions, the woman
screams, "You promised me two weeks ago that you would never cheat
on me again!"
Trying his best to calm her down, the husband turns to his wife and
says, "Take it easy Dear, Can't you see I'm trying to taper off?"
If Tarzan and Jane were from West Virginia, what would Cheetah be?
Pregnant.
A friend of mine is a Police Officer here in town and he mentioned
the other day that he actually had pulled Janet Jackson over... I
said, "Are you serious? What, was she speeding?" He said, "Nah, she
had a headlight out."
A knockout blonde with a fine set of knockers complains to the
doctor, "I believe I am losing my mind. I can't remember ANYTHING
after five minutes!" The doctor answers, in his most comforting
tone, "Just take off all your clothes, miss, and lie down..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Trivia Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If We Could *#$%*&!@ With the Animals
Bats have sex in the air while flying.
Kinsey found that the most frequent animal/human sex was in excess
of eight times a week. The age group that was the most frequent was
less than 15 years old and grew up to be Democrats .
Erect giraffe penises are four feet long.
Chinese lovers, before the days of Mao, were most fond of sex with
fowl.
When faced with an unfamiliar partner, a pregnant female rat or
mouse will spontaneously abort its fetus and go into heat.
To have sex with donkeys, Mongol men would often tie their hind legs
together.
Average sexual intercourse between minks lasts eight hours.
Middle Eastern cave paintings reveal that men used to have sex with
female crocodiles because they believed that it would make them rich
and important A dragonfly's penis has a shovel on the end that
scoops out a rival male's semen The Inca enacted laws to prevent
llama drivers from having sex with their animals and enforced the
laws be requiring that the llama drivers be escorted by chaperones.
Because they are in heat, female baboons will show their buttocks to
males.
The average gorilla weighing 200 pounds has a penis that is two
inches long.
When turning to sex with animals, Marquesan men are more likely to
have sex with chickens.
Upon losing battles, apes will tend to masturbate.
Male boars excite females by breathing on their faces. (They have
smelly breath.)
In the animal kingdom, chimpanzees hold the record for the fastest
quickies. Sexual intercourse can last as little as three seconds.
Slugs can fertilize their own eggs.
Most giraffes are bisexual.
Billy goats urinate on their own heads to smell more attractive to
females.
The Aplysia californica or sea hare, which resemble slugs more than
they do snails, are found around West Coast beaches where they eat
so much seaweed that they can weigh up to 15 pounds and reach two
feet in length. The only other activity that they are known to do
other than eating is copulating.
Pigs and hogs have corkscrew-shaped penises.
The sea slug does little more than eat, sleep, and
copulate--actually it copulates a lot, often in orgies. One
researcher at the University of Miami has witnessed as many as 10
sea slugs at a time engaging in chain copulating.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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French Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Neil Smythe, Professor of Sexual Physiology at Oxford, was lecturing
his class: "And so, gentlemen, as you can see through a
consideration of the anatomical possibilities, there are precisely
seventy-six distinct positions possible in the sex act. If we
classify these positions --"
At this point, however, a deferential French student rose in the
back of the classroom and said, "Monsieur le Professeur, I am sorry
to be forced to interrupt you, but there are, actually,
seventy-seven distinct positions possible."
Professor Smythe regarded the French student with a frown. "My dear
young man," he said, "my statement reflects long and serious
research in the field by many of the most highly respected
authorities, men of age and experience. We are ignoring mirror
images and trivial variations, of course --"
"Of course, Monsieur le Professeur. But I too, speak with
knowledge.
The fact is that I, myself -- I who am speaking to you at this
moment --
can personally, of my own experience, vouch for the existence of
seventy-seven.
"Well," said Professor Smythe, "in a dispute such as this there is
an easy way of settling the matter. I will carefully describe the
seventy-six distinct positions, and when I am done I will ask you to
describe a seventy-seventh, different from all the rest. The
remaining students in the class will, I trust, keep careful count
and judge between us."
"Begin, Monsieur," said the Frenchman.
"I will," said the professor. "We will start with the prime-basic,
or common, position: woman horizontal-dorsal, man
horizontal-ventral, parallel in line and direction through a
vertical axis of symmetry --"
"Sacrebleu," cried the Frenchman, "seventy-eight!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Movies
Women Hitchhikers
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Workers Bra
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Wrong Phone
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WW30mm
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XX Cigar Rolling
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Posedis
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Wake Up
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Wal-Mart Baby
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WatDoeJeNou
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Waterbed
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Snow Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A lady goes on vacation alone to the Caribbean wishing her husband
had been able to join her. Upon arriving, she meets a very
attractive tall dark and handsome native, and after a night of
passionate lovemaking she asks him, "What is your name?"
"I can't tell you!" the native says.
Every night they meet and every night she asks him again what his
name is and he always responds the same, he will not tell her. On
her last night there she asks again, "Can you please tell me your
name?"
"I can't because you will make fun of my name!" the Islander says.
"There is no reason for me to laugh at you," the lady says.
"Fine, my name is Snow" the man replies. And the lady bursts into
laughter, and the native gets mad and says, "I knew you would make
fun of it."
The lady replied, "Its my husband that won't believe me when I tell
him that I had 10 inches of Snow every day in the Caribbean."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Trick Mirror
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Little Bitches
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Handy Work
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Sorry
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I once knew this bloke from Cape Horn
Who wished he had never been born
And he wouldn't have been
If his Father had seen
That the end of the rubber was torn.
Two fisherman would pull on their gators,
Then insert in their rectums vibrators.
Erect cocks they then took,
Spunked, and impaled on a hook,
Because they were both master baiters.
`~~~~
There once was a man named Mort
Whose dick was incredibly short
When he climbed into bed
His lady friend said
"That's not a dick it's a wart"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Trick Mirror
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Little Bitches
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Handy Work
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Sorry
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I'll Be Home Soon
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Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three guys were sitting at the bar. The first guy said, "You
know, I'm really lucky. When my wife makes love, she's like an
acrobat. She can get into the most incredible positions." The
second guy said, "I'm lucky, too. My wife is like a world-class
pianist when we have sex. She's got the most talented hands you can
imagine." No one spoke for a moment. Then the first guy said to
the third guy, "George how's you wife in bed?" George took a sip
of his beer, then replied, "I guess you could say that my wife makes
love like a chess player."
"A chess player?" "Yeah. Every twenty minutes, she moves."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1390
Letter From the Past
Diana is going through the mail...
Diana: Here is a letter attached to a package for you BJ.
BJ: Thanks.
Hm, It reads,
Dear Mr. Cassady
Several years have passed since our last encounter when you offered
a stranger food and a place to stay. I remember you and your family
quite well. When I asked if I could do anything....
wish,
I was surprised. You did not wish for money, power or fame. You
wished
merely wished for your dogs and cats to talk to you. Of all the
people
I have spoken to in time, this was quite humble. I have keep track
of
your family and am pleased. I have therefore, a favor to ask. I am
wandering this great country on foot, but would like for you to
bring
my old 1960 VW bus to me. In the package is cash for your journey.
Please bring the dogs and your wife along. Also, in the package is
the exact route I would like for you to take. Somewhere along the
route, I will find you. I will then tell you who I am, where I come
from,
and impart more details about me. Until then know me as...
The traveler
Diana: Sounds like we should start packing.
BJ: I have the package open and we have about 3,000 dollars for the
trip. Also, inside it says the VW is tuned up and ready to go. It
is 'pet
friendly.'
Rudy: A-Roo!
Katie: I will pack my portable DVD player, my wine coolers, and be
certain my cell phone is charged, get my jammies.
Sandi: I just need my pillow and jams... and snacks.
To be continued
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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