[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

 
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
 
 
With the exception of clapping hands, the sweetest sound a mortal ever hears is that of his own name. It assures him that he is important enough to be remembered.
 ~Robert Quillen


The Postman says:
It has been a difficult road back to recovery. My thanks to all who wrote in
to express their well wishes. I received a little over 3000 well wishes
and such from my readers! I was aslo surprised to findhow devastating
this thing of pnuemonia can be. I believe  I have lost about 70 percent
of my use of arms and legs. And  it has taken almost 7 hours to do
this particular issue,  something that would normally take me about
2 or 3 hours to do. I want to thank all of you for writing to me
and telling me how much they have missed me. Its good to know.
I trust you will understand that because my body does not want
to function properly, I will be unable to respond to each of you,
personally, but I did read each and everyone of your emails.
plese be sure to support
our sponsors so The Postman's Corner can continue to be offered
free to all who ask for it:


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We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/g0949.jpg
The Comics


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St. Peter was at the Pearly Gates checking up on the people waiting to enter Heaven. He asked the next one in line, "So, who are you, and what did
you do on Earth?" The fellow said, "I'm Barack Obama, and I was the
first black to be elected president of the United States." St. Peter said,
"The U.S.?  A black President?  You gotta be kidding me!
When did this happen?"
Obama said, "About twenty minutes ago."
____________________
 
It was necessary to keep a good supply of cannon balls near the cannon
on old war ships. But how to prevent them from rolling about the deck was
the problem. The best storage method devised was to stack them as a square
based pyramid, with one ball on top, resting on four, resting on nine, which
rested on sixteen. Thus, a supply of 30 cannon balls could be stacked in a small
area right next to the cannon. There was only one problem -- how to prevent
the bottom layer from sliding/rolling from under the others. The solution was
a metal plate with 16 round indentations, called, for reasons unknown, a Monkey.
But if this plate were made of iron, the iron balls would quickly rust to it.
The solution to the rusting problem was to make them of brass - hence, Brass Monkeys.

Few landlubbers realize that brass contracts much more and much faster than
iron when chilled. Consequently, when the temperature dropped too far, the
brass indentations would shrink so much that the iron cannon balls would come
right off the monkey. Thus,it was quite literally, cold enough to freeze the
balls off a brass monkey. And all this time, you thought that was just a
vulgar expression, didn't you?
___________________
 
An airplane pilot got engaged to two very pretty women at the same 
time. One was named Edith; the other named Kate. They met, discovered 
they had the same fianc?e, and told him: "Get out of our lives you 
rascal. We'll teach you that you can't have your Kate and Edith, too."
Donations to the order were down and the convent did not have the 
funds to continue in their usual manner. Rather than shutting down, 
Mother Superior ordered an austerity program requiring recycling of 
old clothing. As the gowns had faded over the years, they were sent 
to the manufacturer to restore them to their original black. 
Unfortunately when the dresses were returned, while improved, they 
were still a dark grey, Which just goes to prove old habits dye hard.
______________
 
The Zen Master is visiting New York from Tibet. He goes up to a hot 
dog cart and says," Make me one with everything." The hot dog vendor 
fixes a hot dog and hands it to the Zen Master, who pays with a $20 
bill. The vendor puts the bill in the cash box and closes it. 
"Where's my change?" asks the Zen Master. And the vendor responds, 
"Change must come from within."
__________________
 
A man walks into a bar and says, "Excuse me, I'd like a pint of 
beer." The bartender serves the drink and says, "That'll be four 
dollars." The customer pulls out a twenty-dollar bill and hands it to 
the bartender. "Sorry, sir," the bartender says, "but I can't accept 
that." The man pulls out a ten-dollar bill and the bartender rejects 
his money again. "What's going on here?" the man asks. Pointing to a 
neon sign, the bartender explains, "This is a Singles Bar."
___________________
 
They had frequently reprimanded an old and favored
servant of two maiden ladies for his free behavior
with the female servants. Caught one day in flagrante
delicto, he was summoned to their presence, and
while the girl was sacked, he was told that if he did
not do better and turn over a new leaf, much as they
valued him--his next escapade would be his last.
_____________
Buffalo Billl
 
 
 
I would like to introduce you to a new guest publisher!
Papa Thorn...."I just added 31 Olympics & sports related toons at the site here"
http://www.able2laugh.com/?cat=72
 
That's all folks
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

 

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