Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Received the following today,
Maybe you could trade Eva in for a buffalo calf. Ger.
Love and God Bless.
This afternoon I had answered most of my mail from the day
so I was deleting the few spam mails and other things I never
read. That finished I glanced at the number of emails in my
inbox and it was under 1300. I checked my deleted folder
and found 500 mails from last winter sitting there. Eva had
stuck again and had deleted them without opening them
probably while I was watching this news. I have always let
Eva play with the computers because I feel that she can't
break anything that can't be fixed and I don't want her to grow
up with a fear of electronics that will put her at a disadvantage
amongst other children but she has put my skills to a test
lately. She is performing operations like highlighting things
opening a drop down box and clicking on just the right
line to do the most damage. Not impossible but highly
improbable.
Eva has also become an avid channel surfer and there is no
remote control on my tv that is by my bed. There are three
cartoon channels during the day and the minute an ad comes
on she will push the button through all 80 channels till she
finds a channel worth watching. At the same time she also
turns my lights on and cranks the sound up and pulls at
my pillows till I let her have one. By that time I am too wide
awake to do anything except watch tv with her and I love every
of it. Eva makes life interesting and worthwhile. If she hadn't
been born I would probably spend 20 hours a day watching tv
or sleeping. I think that is worth a lot of deleted emails or
misplaced icons. Enjoy the chips... Eva helped.
buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Milk and Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Old Mendel Rugelbaum was very old and suffering from a rare disease
and his doctor told him could drink only human milk.
"How can I get human milk?" Mendel asked the doctor.
"Well, Ruby Finkelstein'
So every day Mendel went to Ruby's house for his daily feed. Ruby
was a dark eyed, big breasted lady, who, in spite of herself,
gradually became aroused as Mendel lapped at her ripe breasts. One
day as he quietly lay sucking, she whispered to him, " Tell me Mr.
Rugelbaum, do
you like it?"
"Mmmm, wonderful," he sighed.
"Is there," she hesitated, her lips parted, eyes aglow, "is there
anything else you'd like?"
"As a matter of fact there is," murmured Mendel
"What?" Ruby asked breathlessly.
Mendel licked his lips. "Maybe a little cookie?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Massage Chairs
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Laptop Dancing
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Legit?
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Wear A Bra!
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Impotence
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Stop Applauding
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Smoking Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
New Marlboro Ads
Warning: cigarettes give you a raspy voice that makes
you sound as cool as you look."
[Cough] [hack hack] [cough] [thpt] Smooooth."
1"Don't worry; you have an extra lung."
"All of a sudden, your wife nagging you about smoking
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"...That was the sound of a 65-year-old smoker hocking
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"Are you sure you wouldn't rather have a carrot stick?"
"Betcha can't smoke just one."
"I have less tar and nicotine than the leading brands,
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"Buy another pack. Tobacco settlements don't
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"The Marlboro Man has determined that the Surgeon
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"Each cigarette shortens your life by three minutes,
so smoke faster."
"You have smoked... THREE... packs today. At this rate
you will develop emphysema in... FIVE... years."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Clinton Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Back when President Clinton was still in office and you tried to
call
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You have reached the White House voice mail system. No one is
available to take your call at this time because the entire
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carefully to leave your message. When you are finished, don't hang
up
until the FBI finishes tracing the call.
Have a nice day now!
If you are male and would like to leave a message for
the President,
press 9.
If your are female and would like to leave a message for the
president, press M-O-T-E-L-6.
If you are male and would like to leave a message for Chelsea, press
N-O-W-A-Y.
To leave a message for Buddy,
press D-O-G.
To leave a message for Socks,
press D-O-G-F-O-O-
To leave a message for Roger Clinton,
press A-A.
To leave a message for Ted Kennedy,
Press 7-A-N-D-7.
If you are calling to arrange a night in the Lincoln bedroom, press
D-
O-L-L-A-R.
If you are calling to arrange a White House coffee,
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If you are calling to support Hillary's birth control program, press
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If you are calling leave a message for Janet Reno,
press W-A-C-O.
To leave a message for a member of Congress,
press B-I-G-D-O-N-
To leave a message for the Gore 2000 campaign,
press H-O-P-E-L-E-
If you wish to make a complaint,
press B-I-T-E-M-E.
To speak to an operator,
press O.
To speak to a slick operator, stay on the line and the President
will
answer your call shortly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cider Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A youth walks into the kitchen where his mom is fixing dinner. "Mom,
I got a splinter in my finger. Can I have a glass of cider?"
"Are you sure you don't want me to pull it out?"
"No thanks, just the cider."
So she gives him the cider and watches him trot contentedly off.
About fifteen minutes later the boy returns to the kitchen and again
asks his mother for a glass of cider. His mother, not wanting to
question his reasoning, gives him another glass and again watches
him
leave happy.
Ten minutes later the boy returns once again and asks for a glass of
cider. The mother complies with her son's wishes again, but her
curiosity has been piqued to the point where she can't resist
knowing
why any longer. So she wanders into the family room and sees her son
sitting in front of the TV with his finger in the glass.
"Why on earth do you have your finger in that glass?" she asks.
"Well, Mom, I heard Sis on the phone say that whenever she has a
prick in her hand, she can't wait to get it in cider."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Says a teenage girl to her doctor, "You prescribed me birth control
pills."
"And how is it going?"
"I think it's ok, but I'd like to have them bigger."
The doctor was surprised, "You mean stronger?"
"No. Bigger, please."
"But why BIGGER?"
"Because they keep falling out."
~~~~~
Mary: Don't you just hate when you want ONE cookie, but you have to
buy whole bag to get one?
Jill: Right! Or maybe you want ONE doughnut, but you have to buy the
whole box of a dozen!
Mary: And the hotel charges for the whole night when you're going to
use it for only a couple of hours!
~~~
During Clinton's interview with the grand jury, the prosecutor held
up a picture of Monica and asked the president if he had ever seen
this woman.
Bill Clinton replied, "I think I've come across her
face a couple of times"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shoe Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Giorgio is in this country for about 6 months. He walks to work
every day and passes a shoe store. Each day he stops and looks in
the window and admires a certain pair of Bocceli leather shoes. He
wants those shoes so much it's all he can think about.
After about 2 months he saves the $300.00 the shoes cost and
purchases them. Every Friday night the Italian community gets
together at a dance in the church basement, so Giorgio seizes the
opportunity to wear his new Bocceli leather shoes to the dance.
He asks Sophia to dance and as they dance he asks her, "Sophia, do
you wear red panties tonight?"
Sophia, startled, says, "Yes, Giorgio, I do wear red panties
tonight,
but how do you know?"
Giorgio replies, "I see the reflection in my new $300.00 Bocceli
leather shoes. How do you like them?"
Next he asks Rosa to dance, and after a few minutes he says to
her, "Rosa, do you wear white panties tonight?"
Rosa answers, "Yes, Giorgio, I do, but how do you know that?"
He answers, "I see the reflection in my new $300.00 Bocceli leather
shoes. How do you like them?"
Now as the evening is almost over and the last song is being played,
Giorgio asks Carmella to dance. Midway through the dance his face
turns red. He says, "Carmella, stilla my heart, please, please tell
me you wear no panties tonight, please, please, tella me this true!"
Carmella smiles coyly and answers, "Yes Giorgio, I wear no panties
tonight."
Giorgio gasps and says ...."Thanka God ... I thought I had a CRACK
in my $300.00 Bocceli leather shoes!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Secret Place
http://www.silveran
WHAT HAPPENED TO MY LIFE
http://www.wtv-
John w/ I Fall To Pieces
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Judy w/ What Do You want My Child
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Surfin Surfari
Clean Water For Ethiopia
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Tales Of The F-14
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People Bucket Game
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Pop-Up Pancakes
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Movies
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Talent
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Talking Italian
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Tattoo Remover
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Rocking Horse Ride
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Rudolph Was A Swinger
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Rush Hour In a Japanese
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SC Cool Mint
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Scottish Stun Gun
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Shadow Dance
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Quote Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Celebrity Quotes
"I didn't even know my bra size until I made a movie." -Angelina
Jolie
"I would rather have a cup of tea than sex." -Boy George
"I'm on the Zoloft to keep from killing y'all." -Mike Tyson
"I pick my nose and I'm not ashamed to admit it. If there's a
bogey then just pick it, man." -Justin Timberlake
"Wal-mart...
"I've been noticing gravity since I was very young." -Cameron Diaz
"I'm like a monk with a taste for hookers." -Moby
"I think the longer I look good, the better gay men feel." -Cher
"I would like to see the Pope wearing my T-shirt." -Madonna
"I'm thinking about naming my first son Emmy so I can say I've
got one." -Noah Wyle
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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See you at the site,
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Fun
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<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Love Hurts
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<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Happy Hooker
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<a href=" http://www.buffalos
pick me
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back up
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the borders
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Splits
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Oops
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Bunny's
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young girl called Bianca
Who slept while her ship lay at anchor.
She awoke with dismay,
When she heard the mate say,
"Hi! Hoist up the top sheet and spanker!"
There was a young lady called Valerie
Who started to count every calorie.
Said her boss in disgust,
"If you lose half your bust,
Then you're worth only half of your salary."
An ingenious botanist named Pace,
Grew cunts in pots at his place.
When they ripened, he'd pluck 'em
And eat them or fuck them--
They were simpler to grow than to chase.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Douglas was being evaluated for mental problems and was asked
by the doctor, "If a train was coming down the hallway
toward you, what would you do?"
Douglas replied, "I would get in my helicopter and fly away!"
The doctor then asked, "Where did you get a helicopter from?"
Douglas replied, "The same place you got that fucking train!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
HOW TO START EACH DAY WITH A POSITIVE OUTLOOK
1. Empty your PC Recycle Bin.
2. Create a new folder on your Desktop.
2. Name the folder 'Barack Obama'.
3. Drag the folder to the Recycle Bin.
4. Empty the Recycle Bin.
5. Your PC will ask you: 'Do you really want to get rid of 'Barack
Obama?'
6. Firmly Click 'Yes.'
7. Feel better?
GOOD! - Tomorrow we'll do Nancy Pelosi!
Leslie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1404
Rudy, the Protector
Diana: I am off to walk...see you later.
BJ: Okay, be careful, it is foggy outside.
Rudy: I am in charge pops. She will be fine.
Sandi: I always walk beside her.
BJ: How about you Katie?
Katie: Err, ah, I scout ahead.
Diana: Far ahead..
The five leave and BJ gets ready for work...
By the lake it is really foggy and from the fog, Rudy
emerges and stops in front of Diana making her stop.
Diana: What did you do that for?
Just then another walker emerges from the fog...
Diana: Oh, thanks Rudy. I guess you were watching out
for me.
Later...Rudy again comes from the fog and makes Diana
stop.. This tims she waits and sure enough another walker
comes from the fog this time with a dog. Rudy and Sandi are
on either side of Diana in a protective mode.
They continue on.... and the third time..Rudy really makes Diana
stop... a car comes from the fog... This time Diana pets Rudy on
the head.
Diana: I am really proud of you Rudy. You are watching over me
and protecting me. Sandi, you are walking with me, keeping me
company and protecting me as well. You both deserve a treat when
we get home.
Rudy: I don't do it for the treat Toots. I do it because it is my
job
and because it is my charge.
Sandi: You are my Daddy's wife, we have to watch you.
Sandi what is that water in your eye, mommy?
The herd in Guthrie
(This is what they do...they walk with Diana without a leash and
protect her)
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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