welcome to:
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
where the world goes for its daily dose of humor!
(made in the USA)
Our forefathers guaranteed us the right to the pursuit of happiness.
They should have given us a few clues as to where to look.
THIS EZINE IS FREE TO ALL WHO ASK FOR IT
adult humor. wanna subscribe? send a blank email to:
PostmansCorner-
Disclaimer.:
Don't like what you read?
keep yer comments to yerself,
I don't give a rip:)
wanna unsubscribe? don't bug the list owner, he'll just send you a nasty email.
just hit reply to this email and...cya!!!
GOOD AFTERNOON POSTMAN FANS!
FREE TIDE PURE ESSENTIALS SAMPLE
To get a FREE Tide Pure Essentials Sample Kit please follow the instructions
on our website and confirm your email address.
http://www.tinyurl.
FREE JAMBA SAMPLE
JAMBA JUICE SAMPLES
To get a Jamba Juice Gift Card please follow the instructions
on our website and confirm your email address.
http://www.tinyurl.
THE LAND THAT MADE ME ME
Long ago and far away, In a land that time forgot,
Before the days of Dylan, Or the dawn of Camelot.
There lived a race of innocents, And they were you and me,
Long ago and far away In the Land That Made Me Me.
For Ike was in the White House In that land where we were born,
Where navels were for oranges, And Peyton Place was porn.
We learned to gut a muffler, We washed our hair at dawn,
We spread our crinolines to dry In circles on the lawn.
We longed for love & romance, And waited for our Prince,
And Eddie Fisher married Liz, And no one's seen him since.
We danced to "Little Darlin", And Sang to "Stagger Lee"
And cried for Buddy Holly In the Land That Made Me Me.
Only girls wore earrings then, And 3 was one too many,
And only boys wore flat-top cuts, Except for Jean McKinney.
And only in our wildest dreams Did we expect to see
A boy named George with Lipstick, In the Land That Made Me Me.
We fell for Frankie Avalon, Annette was oh, so nice,
And when they made a movie, They never made it twice.
We didn't have a Star Trek Five, Or Psycho Two & Three,
Or Rocky-Rambo Twenty In the Land That Made Me Me.
Miss Kitty had a heart of gold, And Chester had a limp,
And Reagan was a Democrat Whose co-star was a chimp.
We had a Mr. Wizard, But not a Mr. T,
And Oprah couldn't talk yet In the Land That Made Me Me.
We had our share of heroes, We never thought they'd go,
At least not Bobby Darin, Or Marilyn Monroe.
For youth was still eternal, And life was yet to be,
And Elvis was forever In the Land That Made Me Me.
We'd never seen the rock band That was Grateful to be Dead,
And Airplanes weren't named Jefferson , And Zeppelins were not Led.
And Beatles lived in gardens then, And Monkees lived in trees,
Madonna was a virgin In the Land That Made Me Me.
We'd never heard of microwaves, Or telephones in cars,
And babies might be bottle-fed, But they weren't grown in jars.
And pumping iron got wrinkles out, And "gay" meant fancy-free,
And dorms were never coed In the Land That Made Me Me.
We hadn't seen enough of jets To talk about the lag,
And microchips were what was left At the bottom of the bag.
And Hardware was a box of nails, And bytes came from a flea,
And rocket ships were fiction In the Land That Made Me Me.
Buick's came with portholes, And side shows came with freaks,
And bathing suits came big enough To cover both your cheeks.
And Coke came just in bottles, And skirts came to the knee,
And Castro came to power In the Land That Made Me Me.
We had no Crest with Fluoride, We had no Hill Street Blues,
We all wore superstructure bras Designed by Howard Hughes.
We had no patterned pantyhose Or Lipton herbal tea
Or prime-time ads for condoms In the Land That Made Me Me.
There were no golden arches, No Perrier to chill,
And fish were not called Wanda, And cats were not called Bill.
And middle-aged was 35 And old was forty-three,
And ancient was our parents In the Land That Made Me Me.
But all things have a season, Or so we've heard them say,
And now instead of Maybelline We swear by Retin-A.
And they send us invitations To join AARP,
We've come a long way, baby, From the Land That Made Me Me.
So now we face a brave new world In slightly larger jeans,
And wonder why they're using Smaller print in magazines.
And we tell our children's children Of the way it used to be,
Long ago and far away In the Land That Made Me Me
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman!
THE COMICS
I changed my mind
http://www.thepostm
men are from mars
http://www.thepostm
why do you ask
http://www.thepostm
what the hell happened?
http://www.thepostm
my girlfriend
http://www.thepostm
stress in a new environment
http://www.thepostm
today's business
http://www.thepostm
Shoe
http://www.thepostm
in and out
http://www.thepostm
hope
http://www.thepostm
____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
never volunteer
http://www.thepostm
magic trick
http://www.thepostm
the college prank
http://www.thepostm
fat animals
http://www.thepostm
Sam the bellhop
http://www.thepostm
Squirrel impossible
http://www.thepostm
____________
COOL STUFF
your age
http://www.thepostm
computerized house cleaning lessons
http://www.thepostm
lot of different stuff
http://www.thepostm
the old days
http://www.thepostm
50s music
http://www.thepostm
FREE DOVE PROAGE SAMPLES
To get a Dove ProAge Gift Card please follow the instructions
on our website and confirm your email address.
http://tinyurl.
Mrs. Smith was a hypochondriac. Dr. Jones was
fed up with her constant complaints about non
existent illnesses, so he started palming her
off with a mild sedative to keep her happy.
One day she complained about chest pains and
the doctor prescribed his usual treatment. This
time however, the pain was real and
Mrs.Smith died of a heart attack.
On hearing of her death, Dr. Jones was so upset
he died of shock. Mrs. Smith and Dr. Jones were
buried next to each other in the cemetery.
The next morning, Dr. Jones heard a tapping on his coffin,
followed by a voice saying, "Dr. Jones, this is Mrs. Smith.
Do you have anything for worms?"
____________
During WWII, an American Army Captain stationed
in England, met andfell in love with a British Lieutenant in the WRENS.
After a whirlwind courtship, they became engaged and his fiancée
wanted him to spend the weekend at her parents' home in the country
so they could meet him.
When they arrived at a huge estate, a Rolls Royce was parked in front
of a circular driveway with a staff of a dozen maids, butlers,
gardeners, etc. standing at attention awaiting their arrival.
It was obvious to the Yank that his fiancée was no ordinary Brit, but
of the nobility.
Her parents were absolutely taken by her choice of a husband and a
delightful weekend was enjoyed by all.
When the Yank returned to his headquarters outside London, he went to
the British liaison officer's office, explained what had happened,
and asked what the proper protocol would be for him at the wedding.
"At the wedding, pretty much the same as your American weddings, I
would say, but a bit more elaborate.
The big difference would be after the wedding.
You will both have connecting rooms in the Claridge.
You will both go to your separate rooms, where you will bathe, apply
cologne, put on your pajamas and robe and go to the door connecting
your two rooms.
You will rap on the door.
She will answer, 'yes,'
And you will say, 'I offer you my honor.'
She will respond, 'I honor your offer'.
That is your permission to enter her room.
After that, it's honor and offer all night."
____________
On preparing to return home from an out of town trip, a man got a
small puppy as a present for his son.
Not having time to get the paperwork to take the puppy on board, the
man just hid the pup down the front of his pants and snuck him on
board the airplane.
About 30 minutes into the trip, a stewardess noticed the man shaking
and quivering.
"Are you okay, sir?" asked the stewardess,
"Yes, I'm fine," said the man.
Later, the stewardess noticed the man moaning and shaking again.
"Are you sure you're all right sir?"
"Yes," said the man, "but I have a confession to make. I didn't have
time to get the paperwork to bring a puppy on board, so I hid him down
the front of my pants."
"What's wrong?" asked the stewardess. "Is he not housebroken?
"No, that's not the problem. The problem is he's not weaned yet!"
____________
Two guys, Tom and John, are training in the art of parachuting. At
12,000 feet, they jump out of the plane. By pulling the yellow cord, the
parachute should unfold.
This happens to Tom. Gently he floats in the air.
Unfortunately this doesn't happen to John, no matter how hard he pulls
the yellow string, nothing happens. He's fallen straight down to earth.
Tom shouts to him: 'Don't make a fuss of it, it's just a practice
jump!'
____________
"Wow, man," Timmy said. "God parted the Red Sea and let all
His people through on dry ground!"
"Sorry," said the 'biblical' scholar. "But that wasn't the
Red Sea; it was the Reed Sea. And its water is only about
1 foot deep. No miracle was involved."
"Oh," said Timmy. Then, reading on a little more, he said,
"Wow, man! What a miracle! God drowned all those Egyptians
in 1 foot of water!"
____________
BUFFALO'S
cartoons
Wear A Bra!
http://www.buffalos
Impotence
http://www.buffalos
Stop Applauding
http://www.buffalos
LAB LAUGHS
Life Cycle
http://www.lablaugh
The Perfect Man
http://www.lablaugh
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman!
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PostmansCorner
or http://www.thepostmanscorner.net
*To unsubscribe from this group, send a blank email to:
PostmansCorner-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
*To subscribe to this group, send a blank email to:
PostmansCorner-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
*PLZ NOTE: DO NOT send unsubscribe requests to the listowner
(Follow instructions)
Change settings via the Web (Yahoo! ID required)
Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest | Switch format to Traditional
Visit Your Group | Yahoo! Groups Terms of Use | Unsubscribe
__,_._,___
No comments:
Post a Comment