Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Several years ago Sandy planted a lone blackberry bush in the front
beside the porch. This year it sprouted it's first fruit, about a
dozen
berries, sweet, and seedless as big around as my thumb and about
an inch and a half long. I wish we had the whole front planted in
them instead of those tiger lilies that only bloom for a couple of
weeks a year. Guess I'll have to do some studying on how to
propagate blackberries as I am sure they don't grow them from
seeds.
A summer cold is making me tired and messing up my sleep
which in turn leads to the late postings that you are seeing.
I guess if I utilized the time I am up at night better than watching
videos with Eva at 5 in the morning I could get more work done
too.
We are back up into the 80's again today and the humidity is low.
I am looking forward to rain this week and hopefully the lifting of
the burning ban. I am sitting on a dozen or so large bags of paper
and mail that lacking a shredder I prefer to burn rather than send
to the dump although I truly wonder why anyone would want to
steal my identity.
I have been driving Buffy's Sunbird a bit since we got it repaired
and actually I am surprised by how well it handles and its ability
to keep up with freeway speeds while still giving great gas mileage.
When she went to Mackinac Island last weekend she took my
Jimmy with her and I had plans of running a few errands and visiting
friends with the Sunbird. I looked for the keys though and found
out she had both sets with her, grounding me for the weekend.
She heard about that when she got home heh heh.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
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Jungle Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
This British explorer is in the dark jungle,
going where no Western man has gone before.
Accompanying him is his trusted guide, interpreter,
cook, and troubleshooter in one. One day early in
the morning, they arrive at a lake and find a
handsome dark young man engaged in "playful
activities" with ten beautiful, dark, young women,
all in the nude. The young man had the biggest,
strongest male unit the Britisher had ever seen, or
even imagined. He was simply awed. He asked
his guide who this man was.
"He is the prince of the tribe that lives on the other
side of the lake, Sir," came the reply. "This is his
morning ritual."
"Ask him," the awed Brit said to his companion,
"How did his member get to be this size?"
The guide goes to the lake and talks to the man,
who seems to get very agitated by the conversation.
"Well, what did he say?" asked our hero to his
assistant on his return.
"He said, 'There's nothing wrong with my penis.
Doesn't the white man's shrink in cold water?'"
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A guy sees his best friend on the street. The friend is wearing a
flamboyant outfit. Lime colored trousers, a puff sleeved, lavender
shirt, a puce ascot, etc. So he asks his friend, "what in the world
is wrong with you?" "Oh, my wife," the friend replies. "Your wife?"
queries the first guy. "Yea. I saw an ad in the paper for Cox's Men's
Store. They were having a great sale on seersucker suits. So I told
her, go to Cox's and buy me one of those seersucker suits. So what
does she do? She goes to Sears to buy me a suit."
Paddy decides to go rabbit hunting, but when he gets to his favorite
field he sees the village priest is already there. Paddy watches with
fascination as the priest holds his finger over a rabbit hole and
immediately a rabbit pops out. The priest grabs it and puts it into a
sack. He repeats this unusual but very successful technique until his
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does it. Easy, says the priest. Put your finger on your wife's pussy
and then hold it over a rabbit hole. They can't resist the smell, so
when they come out grab them." Paddy rushes home to find Maureen bent
over scrubbing the floor. He lifts up her skirt and applies his
finger as directed. Without looking up, Maureen giggles, "Holy Moses,
Father! Rabbit hunting again?""
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
When I go to a local discount store to get oil and filters for my
car, I
buy my wife a bouquet of flowers on display near the checkout counter.
During one trip, some women in line behind me were oohing and aahing
about a husband getting flowers for his wife. "How often do you do
that?" one asked. Before I could answer, the cashier, more than
familiar
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comes first."
~~~~~
In the early 60s I was assigned to the 55th Air Rescue Squadron at
Prestwick, Scotland. In the interest of community relations, we had a
gathering of Scottish people as guests in our club. I noticed an older
lady with an empty glass and asked her if I could get her another
drink.
She said, "Yes, please, I'm drinking Gin and Sweet Vermouth. Please
ask
the barman not to put any ice in it, it's giving me heartburn."
~~~~~
I watched an ant climb a blade of grass this morning. When he reached
the top, his weight bent the blade down to the ground. Then, twisting
his thorax with insectile precision, he grabbed hold of the next
blade.
In this manner, he traveled across the lawn, covering as much distance
vertically as he did horizontally, which amused and delighted me. And
then, all at once, I had what is sometimes called an "epiphany", a
moment of heightened awareness in which everything becomes clear. Yes,
hunched over that ant on my hands and knees, I suddenly knew what I
had
to do... Quit drinking before noon.
~~~~~
One guy was explaining to his friend how the life often compensates
for
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bit blind he might have a very good sense of hearing, or if his sense
of
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breast , the other one is always just that little bit larger."
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Tooth Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was this guy who went to the dentist to get a tooth pulled.
First off the dentist said, "I'll give you a shot to numb
your jaw."
But the guy said, "No, please don't do that, I'm afraid of needles."
The dentist said, "OK, I'll get out the gas to put you to sleep."
However the guy said, "Nope, I'm allergic to the gas."
So the dentist said, "Just a minute, I'll go look for
something else." After awhile he came back with a couple of pills.
The guy asked, "What kind of pills are those?"
The dentist said, "Viagra."
The guy said, "WHAT! Why these?"
The dentist said, "They won't help the pain, but they'll
give you something to hang on to while I pull your tooth.
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Sailor Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
In a military hospital, one nurse is talking to another: "You should
see the
hunk who came in yesterday. He's in 418B. He's got this tatoo..."
"Yeah, well, a lot of sailors have tatoos. So what?"
"But this guy is tatooed in a very personal spot!"
"Oh yeah, what does it say?"
"It says: SOS ! "
The next day, the second nurse speaks to her colleague: "You know
that
sailor in 418B? His tatoo doesn't say 'SOS,' it says 'SOUVENIR OF THE
GALAPALOS' ! "
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Gourmet Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man was on Regent Street in London and entered a very posh gourmet
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A salesperson in a morning coat with tails approached and politely
asked, "May I help to you, sir?"
"Yes," replied the customer, "I would like to buy a pound of lox."
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"Okay, a pound of smoked salmon."
"Anything else?"
"Yes, a dozen blintzes."
"No, no. You mean 'crepes'."
"Okay, a dozen crepes."
"Anything else?"
"Yes, A pound of chopped liver."
"No, no. You mean 'pate'."
"Okay," said the Jewish patron, "a pound of pate, and I'd like you to
deliver this Saturday morning."
"Sir," said the indignant salesperson, "we don't schlep chazzerai on
Shabbos."
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Sub Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
On a Russian nuclear submarine the captain is about to go to bed. His
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Toon Chips
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I once loved a woman named Gert,
Who climbed mountain peaks in a skirt,
She said, "It feels nice,
On the steep rocks and ice,
And it keeps those below more alert!"
- - - - - - - - - -
There was a young laundress named Springer,
Who went on to become a good singer...
She acquired her range,
In a manner most strange;
When she caught both her tits in the wringer!
- - - - - - - - - -
There once was a goddess named Venus,
Whose disarming was awful and heinous,
For her name didn't rhyme,
With sweet words such as "thyme,"
So Zeus punished her for writing "penis."
- - - - - - - - - -
Now, ladies, you needn't be coy.
Since Lorena lobbed off her boy's toy,
The news made it popular,
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It's a household word now to enjoy.
- - - - - - - - - -
There once was a woman from Venus,
Who committed a crime so heinous,
That to hear people scoff,
She'd have been better off,
If she'd suddenly sprouted a... tail?!?
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonnie heard the telephone ring upstairs. Tiredly,
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Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three old geezers were on the nursing home porch [deck] exchanging
confidences. Maurice started complaining: "You know, I'm getting so
OLD.
Yesterday I tried to take a stroll through the halls, but my knees
gave way
again. I'm just not up to it."
Pauly chimed in: "I know what you mean, but with me, it's my stomach.
There
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up to
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The Old Perfesser wanted to join in the conversation: "Yep. Let me
tell you,
Nurse Kidman came in to my room just before dinner and said, 'I want
you to
do to me what you did at breakfast and lunch, perfesser. That felt SO
good.'
Nope, I'm just not up to it. You see, I couldn't remember what she
was
talking about."
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1075
Pro Ball
Rudy: So you mean to tell me Pops that
these guys get paid a lot of money just to Play
ball?
BJ: Right.
Rudy: Then they get paid to show the kind of cars
they drive?
BJ: Millions, right.
Rudy: Then they get paid money just to get interviewed?
BJ: Right.
Rudy: Then they paid to visit places and promote things?
BJ: Right.
Rudy: I think we are in the wrong business Pops.
BJ: Right!
Rudy: How much did that baseball player make with the NYY?
BJ: A quarter of a billion dollars and then he also can make money
on advertisements.
Rudy: Thud!!
BJ: Yeah, but we are happy.
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
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