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THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
where the world goes for its daily dose of humor!
(made in the USA)
Never visit an optometrist.
he may prescribe new glasses if
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The Postman says
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FROM: THE INVESTIGATIVE REPORTS BUREAU OF
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Nokia has finally designed a cell phone for people who need to make
a cellphone call while in East Saint Louis , Memphis , South Chicago,
South Dallas, Houston , L.A. , Sacramento ,
Miami , New Orleans , Detroit , or Atlanta
Did you know...
Studies show that
Donkeys kill more people annually
Than plane crashes or shark attacks.
The moral of this is...
Watch your Ass :)
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
LET'S GO TO THE MOVIES
ouch
http://www.thepostm
I'll tear up the ticket for a kiss
http://www.thepostm
If my nose was running
http://www.thepostm
crosswalk madness
http://www.thepostm
playin the game
http://www.thepostm
THE COMICS
the new model
http://www.thepostm
2 more
http://www.thepostm
yes thats cum
http://www.thepostm
you lied!
http://www.thepostm
substitutes may not be good
http://www.thepostm
darling I'm home
http://www.thepostm
I can't stand it
http://www.thepostm
kinky
http://www.thepostm
gimme one
http://www.thepostm
lube job
http://www.thepostm
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COOL STUFF
the truth about the donkey
http://www.thepostm
things that make you go ahhhh
http://www.thepostm
ant city game
http://www.thepostm
windows tips n trick
http://www.thepostm
start cooking
http://www.thepostm
We've all heard about people having guts or balls.
But do you really know the difference between them?
In an effort to keep you informed:
GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being
met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask, "Are you
still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"
BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys,
smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your
wife on the butt and having the balls to say, "You're next."
I hope this clears up any confusion. Medically speaking, there is
no difference in the outcome, since both ultimately result in death.
____________
Here's a list of my favorite things to do..... well, there's sex,
you can have sex, sexual intercourse, a quickie, consummate a marriage,
couple, copulate, coddle, or commit the act of procreation.
You could be making whoopee, making love, love making, scrogging,
slapping skin, or sweating to the oldies. You could sleep with someone,
sleep together, sleep around, fool around, whore around, screw around,
or just screw, shag, shank, score, fornicate, fork, pork, pump, poke,
plank, pound, boff bonk, bop, bone bang, or boink. you could be dancing
between the sheets, doing the horizontal bop, the horizontal mambo,
the prone boogie, or even the hunka-chunka. You could be humping,
bumping, humping and bumping, bumping uglies, the ol' bump and grind,
or making the two backed beast. You could play doctor, hide the salami,
hide the sausage, because dammit, it's the most fun you can have with your clothes off.
You could break in a new mattress, or give the old one a workout.
You could be squeaking the springs, annoying the neighbors, or making
a big mistake. You could get them in the sack, get little action,
get a little nookie, get a piece of tail, get a piece of ass, get it on, get some,
get frisky, get lucky, get laid, get all hot and sticky, or just get it wet, and,
i'm not making this up, get a little sticky steak up in this bitch.
You could be mounted, mounting, rutting, breeding, starting a family,
pulling the train, slamming the stack. Two for me, none for you.
Not going anywhere for a while? You could turn a trick, or take pity
on the poor bastard and give it away. Happy hammering, hammer, nail,
sow your wild oats, lose your virginity, or induce pregnancy the old fashioned way.
Take a roll in the hay, a trip to the tunnel of love, or a trip to paradise
if you're taking the scenic route. Hit a home run, hit the twizzer, knock boots,
tap that ass, shoplift the pootie, plunder the booty, count the ceiling tiles, ruin a
friendship, or close the scroat. Do the wild thing, do it, doing it, doing the nasty,
the nasty, the old in-out in-out, dip the wick, dip the stick (or if you're with a
moron you could stick the dip). Wet the noodle, check the oil, check the temperature,
give her the pork sword injection, or the hot beef injection, depending on your religion.
Or perhaps even commit assault with a vein laden meat pipe (that's my favorite)
You could give in, give it up, go for it, go for the gold, go for the gusto, go for broke,
or even go all the way, after all, it is the fastest way to the top. You could engage in a fluid
transfer, relieve some tension, relieve some pressure, or experience a hormonal episode.
it's a labor of love, hanky panky, and as a friend of mine once said
"the noblest of all causes" or....you could just FUCK.
____________
A prostitute went to visit a colleague in the
Hospital just before she was about to have a
Heart transplant.
The woman, concerned about her friend's welfare,
Went up to the surgeon who was going to perform
The operation and said "Doctor, I'm worried about my
Friend. What if her body rejects the organ?"
The doctor replied, "Well, she's 34 years old and
Is in extremely good health apart from her heart.
How long has she been in the business?"
The patient's friend replied, "She's been working
Since she was 18 years old but what's that got to
Do with anything?"
"Well," said the doctor, "if she's been working for 16
Years and hasn't rejected an organ, I don't think she's
About to start now!"
____________
An Irishman from Derry was walking through a field
when he saw a man drinking water from a pool with his hand.
The Irishman shouts "Ná hól an t-uisce, tá sé lán de chac bó"
(Don't drink the water, it's full of cow shit.)
The man shouts back "I'm English, speak English not gibberish,
I don't understand you".
The Derryman shouts back , "Use both hands, you'll get more in."
____________
Alice and Frank are Bungee-jumping one day. Alice says to Frank,
you know, we could make a lot of money running our own
Bungee-jumping service in Mexico."
Frank thinks this is a great idea, so they pool their money together
and buy everything they'll need; a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc.
They travel to Mexico and begin to setup on the square. As they are
constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more
people gather to watch them at work. By the time they had finished,
there was such a large crowd gathered they thought it would be a
good idea to give a demonstration.
So, Alice jumps. She bounces at the end of the cord, but when she comes
back up, Frank notices that she has a few cuts and scratches. Unfortunately,
Frank isn't able to catch her and she falls again, bounces and comes back up again.
This time, she is bruised and bleeding. Again, Frank misses her. Alice falls
again and bounces back up. This time she comes back pretty messed up --
she's got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious. Luckily,
Frank finally catches her this time and says, "What happened?
Was the cord too long?"
Barely able to speak, Alice gasps, "No, the Bungee cord was fine.
It was the crowd. What the hell is a pinata?!"
LAB LAUGHS
Teacher Appreciation Week
http://www.lablaugh
The Three Minute Tunnel
http://www.lablaugh
What I Would Love To Send Them
http://www.lablaugh
BUFFALO'S MOVIES
Movies
Moose
http://www.buffalos
Exam
http://www.buffalos
Cargo
http://www.buffalos
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman!
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