👔 Coaching | 🎙️Podcast | ⏱️ Stopwatch | ⏰Off The Clock | & Guild | 📚 BooksDon’t let the title fool you; this isn’t an exercise in nihilism. It’s about the importance of showing up, what it means when we don’t, and what we can do for others when we’re present. Just a reminder: our Ides of March special is going on all month, as we mark Julius Caesar’s death in 44 B.C.:
“But immortality is nontransferable.” I’ve been thinking about the power of presence lately — and of its inverse: absence. It crystallized for me last night, when I learned that a friend and mentor of 40 years passed away the evening before. While I wasn’t surprised (he had been in failing health and entered home hospice care a couple of weeks ago, with doctors not giving him past the weekend to live), it was still something that tugged at my heart and made me realize that I’ll never see him again. And although the decades had brought an unavoidable absence due to distance, the finality of death means an eternal, unyielding absence. And that lack of something — that nothingness, even though it means something that won’t appear — holds a great deal of power.¹ “Have you noticed that death alone awakens our feelings? How we love the friends who have just left us? How we admire those of our teachers who have ceased to speak, their mouths filled with earth! Then the expression of admiration springs forth naturally, that admiration they were perhaps expecting from us all their lives. But do you know why we are always more just and more generous toward the dead? The reason is simple. With them there is no obligation. They leave us free and we can take our time, fit the testimonial between a cocktail party and a nice little mistress, in our spare time, in short.”
Nothing is SomethingSt. Augustine reasoned that original sin had to do with man being made out of nothing. When man turned toward himself and away from God, he was turning to nothingness. That is, toward an absence of something.² Where in our lives do we have power over our presence or our absence? In how we choose to spend our time: where we go, who we see, what we say. Every time we decide to go somewhere, determine with whom we need or want to spend time, and select the words we use, we are signaling what’s important to us. It shows others who we are and reinforces the values we talk about. Conversely, when people see the places, people, and conversations that we avoid, that sends a powerful message as well. In fact, the absence of action can send many messages about us. Why many? Because in the absence of information, people come to their own conclusions. They might think you’re too busy, or that you simply don’t care enough about them to extract yourself from whatever self-important and misguided priorities you have. Or that you’re maliciously and intentionally staying away, so as to send a message. The problem is, you’re sending all sorts of messages, depending on the imaginations of everyone who sees you not showing up.
Present and Accounted ForThe remote work phenomenon we’ve seen over the past half decade has changed the way many businesses and leaders think, although not all of them. [Note: I'll have a separate essay on the return-to-office phenomenon in a future newsletter.] How can we make a difference simply by showing up? Whether its in-person or on a video call, our presence makes a difference because it gives us a chance to listen, learn, and share. More importantly, our teams need us to provide context and meaning to their work, otherwise we’d just send out to-do lists every week and ask them to complete tasks like automatons. In providing that context, remember this acronym: K.U.B.A. KDo they know what they need to do? UDo they understand why they need to do it? BDo they believe in what they’re being asked to do? ADo they have the resources to act on it? All too often, we see leaders asking people to go from K to A, skipping the U and B. Being present and communicating regularly gives you a chance to talk about vision, purpose, goals, and values. When you’re not there, all of that can get forgotten.
Meanwhile, I’m replaying memories of my mentor, as I sort through the years of correspondence, photographs, and clippings. In those moments and contexts, I’ll be replaying the times we were present for each other, using them to inspire me to be present for others the way he was for me.
How Humanity Gave Itself an Extra Life: Between 1920 and 2020, the average human life span doubled. How did we do it? Science mattered — but so did activism. (The New York Times) It took centuries for people to embrace the zero. Now it’s helping neuroscientists understand how the brain perceives absences. (Aeon)
Silicon Valley thinks it should live forever. A bunch of rich guys can’t imagine a world without…themselves. “Death makes me very angry,” Oracle’s Larry Ellison once said. “Death has never made any sense to me. How can a person be there and then just vanish, just not be there?” (Pacific Standard) Ellison has poured millions into longevity research. Jeff Bezos and Peter Thiel are investors in Unity Biotechnology, which focuses on ways to “slow, halt or reverse diseases of aging.” Google started Calico in 2013, a company that today describes itself as “asking difficult questions about how we age.” (Inc.)
Is zero really a number? How did it come about? Hannah Fry tells the story of how zero went from nothing to something. (YouTube)  “If you find your here and now intolerable and it makes you unhappy, you have three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it totally. If you want to take responsibility for your life, you must choose one of those three options, and you must choose now. Then accept the consequences. No excuses. No negativity. No psychic pollution. Keep your inner space clear.” Eckhart Tolle in The Power of Now. (Amazon | Bookshop.org) There’s so much to learn,
1 Yes, I realize this is sounding an awful lot like the nothingness in Sartre’s Being and Nothingness (1943), but the similarity is unintentional 2 If you’re curious, it’s from The City of God, Book XIV, Ch. 13 If you upgrade your subscription, you’ll have access to our full archives, plus additional content exclusive to our Ampersand Guild. Because you’re already a subscriber, please accept this discount in appreciation for believing in Timeless values:👔 Coaching | 🎙️Podcast | ⏱️ Stopwatch | ⏰Off The Clock | & Guild | 💡Timeless Reflections | 📚 Books
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