Tell Me Everything

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This is a fantastic book. (And easy to read too!)

For those of you not on the Strout train... You're the lucky ones, because you can go back and read all the books that preceded this one. If, like me, you're totally up to date, you'll be fascinated by the fact that seemingly every previous character plays a part in "Tell Me Everything."

In reality, it's all about style. And I can't say I can define it, but I'll try to relate the experience of reading the book.

It's set in the modern world, the world we live in, but really it's more like the world we used to live in prior to the internet. We're all overwhelmed with the election, social media, there's a tsunami of information, and although there are some proud Boomers who will tell you they've got flip phones and have never been on Instagram, never mind TikTok, most of us want to know what is going on, and we're drawn into the maelstrom.

Not that "Tell Me Everything" is set in a fantasy land.

Then again, it is set in Maine. And if you've been there, if you know people from there, you know Maine is in many ways behind, off the grid, don't compare it with its neighbor New Hampshire, never mind Vermont, it's a completely different culture.

And the map doesn't do the state justice. Maine is big! And although there is the city of Portland down south, and coastal towns, and summer people, the basic Mainer is iconoclastic, and oftentimes rugged, and definitely self-sufficient. They don't need you. Many are internalized, or part of a small community, and they're proud of this.

And some of the people in Crosby and Shirley Falls, where most of the action in the book takes place, are transplants, retirees, but most of them are locals. They know each other, they know everybody's story, they went to school together. I found this stifling when I lived in a small town, the pre-judging, the lack of anonymity, but you know many more people when you live in a hamlet, a small burg, than when you live in the city.

So, although there are references to the pandemic and the internet, "Tell Me Everything" is disconnected, and that's one of its appeals. It's a whole community, identity and history are important, wealth not so much. You're treated like a regular person, not that it's the land of kumbaya, everybody does not always agree, nor is everybody given the benefit of the doubt. But ultimately everybody intersects. If you think you're special, better than the rest, you won't make it in this book, or in Maine itself.

Unlike in many books, a lot happens in "Tell Me Everything." There is not endless description and setup. Not that it's bare bones. There's just enough description and...

What you've got here mostly is those who can see the end of life. Those fiftysomething and older. They interact with their children, or not, and at this late date they know who they are. They've made their choices, are they good ones?

And there's a murder mystery. And death from illness.

And a ton of family interactions.

But the overarching theme is a crush. Bob on Lucy. Is it reciprocated? Should Bob bring it up, should he take action?

Now in popular culture, everybody follows their heart, acts on a whim. But really... Especially after one divorce, you tend to learn what you're getting in your primary relationship, which may not be what your crush delivers, but to take action and "ruin" everybody's life and maybe find out you made a mistake... The grass does look greener on the other side. And, you don't know what you've got till it's gone. But we're always running scenarios in our brain. And they're in this book.

And the question of obligation. Especially when you get older. Do you help those in need? The less mobile? In the city, those on the fast track will tell you they don't have time, that somebody should be hired, but in smaller communities...

Now despite being such an easy read, there's a ton of wisdom in the book.

"She's a bully, and bullies are always frightened."

I'd never thought of that, never mind known it. But contemplating it, it's true!

"That Bob had spoken these words to her remained a thumbprint pressed deeply into his soul of real sorrow and regret."

In this case it's something Bob said to his mother, who is deceased, and he can't let it go. There's so much I can't let go of. The scenarios run in my brain, what I said and what I did. And I'm old enough to know that the object of my pain may not even be aware of it. But one thing great about getting old is people eventually die, and you may never encounter them again, you don't feel that urge to contact them, you realize you're flawed and march to the end.

"People always tell you who they are if you just listen—they will always eventually tell you who they are."

Which is why you're better off asking questions and listening than talking, because people will tell you everything. And when it comes to romance, people tell you who they are very quickly, and don't expect them to change.

"There is nothing sexier than talking."

I had a shrink who got frustrated with me and said I'd rather talk to women than screw them. (That's almost a direct quote!) I guess... I never feel confident enough. They'd want to roll in the hay with ME?

I was at a friend's house a while back, and I had a long conversation with a woman who is a household name, but is not an entertainer. She was famous for a while, and if you were alive when that happened... And I felt a connection, but it couldn't have been reciprocated, right?

Almost ten years later I went to someone's house, and she was one of about thirty people there. And I avoided her. That's what I do when I have feelings, I'm just too anxious. You'll know I'm interested by the fact that I'm not connecting with you when we're in the same space. And then, after dinner, after dessert, when the evening was winding down, this woman came up and said...AREN'T YOU GOING TO TALK TO ME?

I was completely blown away. I was busy apologizing. After all this time, I figured she'd never remember. But she looked me in the eye and started talking about everything we'd said years before. She felt it too, who knew?

Yes, you can call "Tell Me Everything" literary fiction. But it's not from the Iowa Workshop, Elizabeth Strout was not trained by everybody else, and that's one reason her work is so good. It's not overwritten. All her books flow, quickly. She seems to be writing for herself, with a need to tell these stories as opposed to needing to impress some fictional high priests. Strout was a lawyer and then...

You don't have to have read any Strout books to enjoy "Tell Me Everything." And it's not a huge commitment, it's not long, never mind dreary, but there will come a point where you'll start regretting it's going to end, you want to live with this book forever.

And if you tell me you saw the dramatization of "Olive Kitteridge" on HBO...

Well, as great as Frances McDormand is, I don't see her as Olive at all. And a film or a series can't convey what is so great about books...feelings, interior dialogue.

Now it's not like I'm the only person raving about "Tell Me Everything."

And if you're male and a fan of nonfiction only, I'm not going to tell you to run out and buy it...

But the truth is if you're human, with some level of self-knowledge, you're going to get caught up in, become enraptured by "Tell Me Everything," really all of Strout's books.

"Tell Me Everything" is for everybody. It's not a fantastical adventure, but real life.

And that's what we're all doing, living life, just like the characters in this book.

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Tell Me Everything

shorturl.at/RdLfw This is a fantastic book. (And easy to read too!) For those of you not on the Strout train... You're the lucky one...