Plants gone potty!: [PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

A teacher goes around her class asking each of the
kids what do they need at home?
Joey says, "A computer."
The teacher replies, "That would be very useful."
Kimmy says, "A new lawn mower." And she gets a similar response.
Little Johnny pops up and says, "At my house we don't need nothing!"
The teacher asks him to think again carefully, as everybody needs something.
Little Johnny replies, "No I'm sure. When Obama was re-elected,
I remember my dad saying, 'Well, that's the last thing we needed!'"
______________

After a relaxing bath, Monica Lewinsky was looking at herself naked
in a mirror...remembering her time with Bill Clinton.
Her frustration over her inability to lose weight was depressing her.
In an act of desperation, she decided to call on God for help...
"God, if you take away my love handles, I'll devote my life to you," she prayed.
And just like that, her ears fell off!
Touching story, isn't it!
_______________

While walking down the street one day a Corrupt Senator (that may
be redundant) was tragically hit by a car and died.
His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it
seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around
these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," says the Senator.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from the higher ups.
What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven.
Then you can choose where to spend eternity."
"Really? I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the Senator.
"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."
And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.
The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course.
In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are
all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.
Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him,
shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while
getting rich at the expense of the people.
They played a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster,
caviar and the finest champagne.
Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy
who is having a good time dancing and telling jokes.
They are all having such a good time that before the
Senator realizes it, it is time to go.
Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises.
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens in heaven where
St. Peter is waiting for him, "Now it's time to visit heaven..."
So, 24 hours passed with the Senator joining a group of contented
souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They
have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have
gone by and St. Peter returns.
"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven.
Now choose your eternity."
The Senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I
would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful,
but I think I would be better off in hell."
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell...
Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle
of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.
He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash
and putting it in black bags as more trash falls to the ground.
The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulders.
"I don't understand," stammers the Senator. "Yesterday I was here
and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and
caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's
just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable.
What happened?"
The devil smiles at him and says, Yesterday we were campaigning,
Today, you voted.."

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

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Plants gone potty!

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

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