Plants gone potty!: January 2013

Lady: Do you drink?
Man: Yes
Lady: How much a day?
Man: 3 6 packs
Lady: How much per 6 pack
Man: about $10.00
Lady: And how long have you been drinking?
Man: 15 years
Lady: So 1 6 pack cost $10.00 and you have 3 packs a day which puts your
spending each month at $900. In one year, it would be $10,800 correct?
Man: Correct
Lady: If in 1 year you spend $10,800 not accounting for inflation, the
past
15 years puts your spending at $162,000 correct?
Man: Correct
Lady: Do you know that if you hadn't drank, that money could have been put
in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound
interest for the past 15 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?
Man: Do you drink?
Lady: No
Man: Where's your Ferrari then?
___________

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl
whispered to her mother,
'Why is the bride dressed in white?''
The mother replied, 'Because white is the color
of happiness,
and today is the happiest day of her life.'
The child thought about this for a moment then said,
'So why is the groom wearing black?'
_____________

An elderly woman walked into the local country church. The friendly
Usher greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of steps.
"Where would you like to sit?" he asked politely.
"The front row, please," she answered.
"You really don't want to do that," the usher said. "The pastor is really boring."
"Do you happen to know who I am?" the woman inquired.
"No," he said.
"I'm the pastor's mother," she replied indignantly.
"Do you know who I am?" he asked.
"No," she said.
"Good," he answered.
_____________

FUN PAGES

Holy Smokes
http://tinyurl.com/bymndgl

Group Kiss
http://tinyurl.com/b4hst6c

Bloons Tower Defense 3 Hacked
http://tinyurl.com/a6uxuvw

Martin Loofah King Cooking
http://tinyurl.com/afgkmfh

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

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[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

Whatever you fear most has no power -
it is your fear that has the power.
Oprah Winfrey

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
The weather is nasty this morning here in beautiful
West Michigan. I look outside and thank my lucky stars
for a warm dry home. Being Thursday, I am supposed
to give you my weekly health report. There is not a lot
to say, no great milestones. But there are little victories
to count. I am still dilligently walking every day and have
built up to 25 minutes per. And I am still dilligently following
my low carb diet. Unfortunately, there are no more weight losses
to report other than the initial 10 lbs. from the first 2 weeks.
So, if one is unhappy with results, then you gotta change how you are doing
something. My plan is to gradually increase on the excersize. But the
good part? my diabetes is under GREAT control. Sugar numbers are fantastic.
And my blood pressure, almost perfect. Probably due in part to my
war on caffein and nicotine. Only do about 2 or 3 smokes a day, now.
And I am gradually weaning myself off the "real stuff" coffee, by
mixing it with decaf. its a good way to do it. Overall, I would have
to say, I feel better than I have in a long time. its a good feeling!
For all of you reading this, take better care of yourself:
nobody else will do it better than you!

We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

_________

THE COMICS

bros
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z821.html

irrelevant
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z822.html

my father told me
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z823.html

swelling
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z824.html

a new position
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z825.html

the jealous type
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z826.html

potty training
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z827.html

the g spot
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z828.html

I'm bored
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z829.html

horrifying
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z830.html
_________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

USMC Silent Drill Team
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2844.html

Jerry Springer - Gang Members 1997
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2845.html

All James Bond Movie Theme Songs
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2846.html

Funny gif
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2847.html

The little girl's dad was Jewish and her mom was Catholic.
Mom had been taking the little girl to church every Sunday.
One Sunday, during High Mass, the little girl whispers
to her mom, "Mom, can we go home now?"
"No honey, not yet," replied the mother,
"the Mass is only half over."
"Then we can go now, Mom. I'm half Jewish."
____________

Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find
themselves at the pearly gates waiting to enter Heaven. On
entering they must present something relating or associated with Christmas.
The first man searches his pocket, and finds some Mistletoe, so he is allowed in.
The second man presents a cracker, so he is also allowed in.
The third man pulls out a pair of stockings.
Confused at this last gesture, St. Peter asks, "How do these represent Christmas?"
"They're Carol's."
_____________

I figured that at age seven it was inevitable for my son to
begin having doubts about Santa Claus. Sure enough, one day
he said, "Mom, I know something about Santa Claus,
the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy."
Taking a deep breath, I asked him, "What is that?"
He replied, "They're all nocturnal."

FUN PAGES

Virtual Vacations
http://tinyurl.com/b2796go

TV Character Personality Matcher
http://tinyurl.com/akyz7mt

14 Year Old Almost Wins X-Games
http://tinyurl.com/bye4kcd

Love Calculator
http://tinyurl.com/bk4ozs2

Had Y'all Shook Doe
http://tinyurl.com/a6avll8

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

Life grants nothing to us mortals without hard work.
Horace

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!

We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
______________

THE COMICS

you bet
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z811.html

bras
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z812.html

kids
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z813.html

beware of the dog
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z814.html

people
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z815.html

malignant narcissism
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z816.html

swing
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z817.html

a defining moment
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z818.html

if you could
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z819.html

next time
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z820.html
__________________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

the retriever
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2840.html

never marry a spanish woman
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2841.html

stress
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2842.html

the singer
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2843.html

Now that I'm older here's what I've discovered:

1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and all-bran.

3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.

4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

5. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

6. If all is not lost, where is it?

7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

8. Some days, you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.

9. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few.

10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
____________

The middle-aged woman sought help from her doctor.
"All my husband does is complain that I never want
to have sex with him. And he's right too. I have no desire at all."
The doctor gave her a prescription and told her
to return for a visit in two weeks.
After the two weeks were up, she bounced smiling
into his office. "Those pills were great Doc, I'm doin'
it twice a night now."
"That's wonderful." said the doctor.
"What does your husband say now?"
"How should I know?" she replied. "I ain't been home yet."
________________

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
where the world goes for its daily dose of humor!

Real love exists not in words or speech,
but in truth or action

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS
I think I am finally figuring out this
excersizing stuff...

We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
__________

COMICS

dysfunction
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z801.html

Mister Rogers
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z802.html

question
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z803.html

dinner is served
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z804.html

wouldn't it be funny
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z805.html

i phone
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z806.html

Alzheimers clinic
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z807.html

3 am
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z808.html

not here
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z809.html

speak Walmart
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z810.html

_____________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

Dansons la capucine
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2836.html

wankers
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2837.html

rockers
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2838.html

mannequins
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2839.html

DOG DICTIONARY

DOG BED: Any soft, clean surface, such as the
white bedspread in the guest room or the newly
upholstered couch in the living room.

DROOL: Is what you do when your persons have food
and you don't. To do this properly you must sit as close
as you can and look sad and let the drool fall to
the floor, or better yet, on their laps.

SNIFF: A social custom to use when you greet
other dogs. Place your nose as close as you can to
the other dog's rear end and inhale deeply, repeat
several times, or until your person makes you stop.

GARBAGE CAN: A container which your neighbors put
out once a week to test your ingenuity. You must stand
on your hind legs and try to push the lid off with your
nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with margarine
wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume and moldy crusts of bread.

BICYCLES: Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for
dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit,
you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run
alongside for a few yards; the person then swerves and
falls into the bushes, and you prance away.
_____________

Registry on the first day back at school in Birmingham UK
The teacher began calling out the names of the pupils:-
"Mustafa Al Eih Zeri?" "Here."
"Achmed El Kabul?" "Here."
"Fatima Al Hayek? " "Here."
"Ali Abdul Olmi?" "Here."
"Mohammed Bin Kadir?" "Here."
"Ali Son Al Len" - Silence in the classroom.
"Ali Son Al Len" - Continued silence as everyone looked around the room.
The teacher repeated the call.
A girl stood up and said, "Sorry teacher. I think that's me. It's pronounced Alison Allen.
__________

A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip
of her index finger shot off.
'How did this happen?' the emergency room doctor asked her.
'Well, I was trying to commit suicide,' the blonde replied.
'What?' sputtered the doctor. 'You tried to commit suicide by shooting
off your finger?'
'No, silly' the blonde said. 'First I put the gun to my chest, &
then I thought, 'I just paid $6, 000.00 for these implants...
I'm not shooting myself in the chest.'
'So then?' asked the doctor.
'Then I put the gun in my mouth, & I thought, 'I just paid $5,000.00
for veneers, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth.'
'So then?'
'Then I put the gun to my ear, & I thought: 'This is going to make a
loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger.'

FUN PAGES

Recreational Use of Cannabis
http://tinyurl.com/a7vczvu

Duck Face Spaghetti
http://tinyurl.com/bcqvkng

Irish Sun Bathing
http://tinyurl.com/bdnj36x

Get High On Our Street
http://tinyurl.com/alnbohy

Michael Jackson Kid
http://tinyurl.com/arkhr6w

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!

If you believe everything you read, better not read.

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
It is another Monday and today is supposed to
be a doozy, according to the weather man. Here in
beautiful West Michigan, he says that Winter Storm
Luna will hit us at approximately 2am with a wonderful
mix of snow and freezing rain. So far, at the time of this
writing (about midnite Monday nite) it is rather balmy, and
about 32 degrees and quite still and pleasant outside.
Makes no difference, I have not much planned today, other than
to take the car in to the body shop to repair the damage
that was done when that jerk who sideswiped us . (and to find
the nearest McDonalds to kick back with a senior coffee and
read the novel I am currently engrossed in) Fortunately,
State Farm covered the entire cost for the body work. And while they would not
pay for a rental, the dealer said they would provide a loaner.
Pity the poor kid tho, 500$ fine for no insurance. And State Farm
will go after him. If he doesn't pay up in subrogation or whatever
they call it, he will face loss of driving priviledges, and
even possible jail time.

If you are a typically employed American workaday blue collar type,
you probably have gotten your w2 form and are now considering your options
of tax filing. These days, with computer programs and such, the need of
an accountant seems to be less and less accute. Remember back in the day when
you asked for those rapid refund thingies to get your money back quicker
so you could be broke faster? Almost ridiculous now with e file, where
your electronic refund is back within a week or two. I have always used a program
called Taxslayer to file, much more efficient and less expensive than turbotax.
Altho these days, you may want to consider the options on the website
of the IRS. They have all of the forms there, (and all fillable on line ) and if you are
even minimally skilled at mathmatics, it makes filing a wiz comared to
"back in the day." Unfortunately for me, with lots of SSDI payments and
self employment earnings in the family, I will end up owing money and not
getting any back. But uncle sam is usually pretty good to working class
families with kids handing out "earned income credit".
Here is hoping he is good to you this year,
Watch out and drive safe on those roads,
and also have a great Monday!

We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

_____________________

THE COMICS

a pessimist
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z791.html

greeting cards
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z792.html

drag racing
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z793.html

If I could see
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z794.html

enough
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z795.html

how to
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z796.html

I'll love you forever
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z797.html

photoshop
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z798.html

bitter homes
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z799.html

office upgrade
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z800.html

_________________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

Josh Turner performs "Long Black Train" at the Grand Ole Opry
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2832.html

Malaysia - Travel Video
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2833.html

funny crazy cats
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2834.html

Wrong Side Prank
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2835.html
_______________

There was this blonde who just got sick and tired
of all the blonde jokes she'd hear at the office.
So one evening she went home and memorized all the state capitals.
Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a Dumb Blonde joke.
She interrupted him with a shrill announcement,
"I've had it up to here with these blonde jokes.
I want you to know that this blonde went home last night
and did something probably none of you could do...
I memorized all the state capitals."
One of the guys said "I don't believe you."
She said, "It's true. Just test me!"
"Okay. What is the capital of Alaska," he asked?
"A" she answered.
_________

Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk.
Both are dragging their right foot as they walk.
As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly,
points at his foot and says, "Vietnam, 1969."
The other hooks his thumb behind him and says,
"Dog doo, 20 feet back."
____________

An elderly fisherman wrote to a mail order house the following:
"Please send me one of those gasoline engines for my boat you
show on page 438, and if it's any good,
I'll send you a check."
In a short time he received the following reply: "Please send check.
If it's any good, we'll send the engine."
_______________

FUN PAGES

Phone Number Translator
http://tinyurl.com/b4rfsvn

Addicting Obechi Game
http://tinyurl.com/ayqs43b

Sift Heads 5 Hacked
http://tinyurl.com/at88oza

Naked Female Body Fruit
http://tinyurl.com/a95l5cd

Eye Kitty Cat Weed
http://tinyurl.com/arar6ut

We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous
energy merely to be normal.
Albert Camus

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!

We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_________

THE COMICS

I'm bored
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z781.html

employee of the month
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z782.html

a vulgar outfit
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z784.html

his last words
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z785.html

pleasing everyone
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z786.html

go buy batteries
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z787.html

smart ass
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z788.html

getting drunk
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z789.html

big girl panties
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z790.html
_________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

Sandy
http://thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2828.html

the great drag race
http://thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2829.html

redneck fun
http://thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2830.html

accident
http://thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2831.html

Johnny had been misbehaving and was sent to his room.
After a while he emerged and informed his mother that
he had thought it over and said a prayer.
"Fine," said the mother. "If you ask G-d to help
you not misbehave, he will help you."
"Oh, I didn't ask Him to help me not misbehave,"
said Johnny. "I asked Him to help you put up with me.
_________

During the recent royal wedding, the millions around
the world saw that Prince William chose to wear a uniform
that included the famous British "red coat." Many people
have asked, "why did the British wear red coats in battle?"
A long time ago, Britain and France were at war. During
one battle, the French captured a British Colonel. They took
him to their headquarters, and the French
General began to question him.
Finally, as an afterthought, the French General asked,
"Why do you British officers all wear red coats? Don't you
know the red material makes you easier targets for us to shoot at?"
In his casual, matter-of-fact, way, the officer informed
the General that the reason British officers wear red coats
is so that if they are shot, the blood won't show,
and the men they are leading won't panic.
And that is why, from that day forward, all French
Army officers wear brown trousers.
_________________

The ninety-five year old woman at the nursing home received a visit from one of
her fellow church members.
"How are you feeling?" the visitor asked.
"Oh," said the lady, "I'm just worried sick!"
"What are you worried about, dear?" her friend asked.
"You look like you're in good health. They are taking care of you, aren't they?"
"Yes, they are taking very good care of me."
"Are you in any pain?" she asked.
"No, I have never had a pain in my life."
"Well, what are you worried about?" her friend asked again.
The lady leaned back in her rocking chair and slowly explained her major worry.
"Every close friend I ever had has already died and gone on to heaven. I'm
afraid they're all wondering where I went."

FUN PAGES

Silly Puns
http://tinyurl.com/acbyfr7

Marijuana Versus Cocaine Flow
http://tinyurl.com/bgcdyly

Santa Chat
http://tinyurl.com/anmmfno

Country Name Quiz
http://tinyurl.com/a9lqn6c

Angel in the Night Sky
http://tinyurl.com/aj6ezua

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner!

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
(Its where the world goes for its daily dose of humor!)

Our lives improve only when we take chances… and the first and most
difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves.
– Walter Anderson

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!

We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_____________

THE COMICS

hiding
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z771.html

McDonalds
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z772.html

friends
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z773.html

make up your mind
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z774.html

not your friend
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z775.html

facebook
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z776.html

being sarcastic
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z777.html

refried beans
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z778.html

new age bullies
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z779.html

losing your teeth
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z780.html
_______________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

MAC KING Comedy Magician
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2824.html

Just For Laughs: Gags - Season 9 - Episode 9
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2825.html

Hahn Beer Commercial - Venice
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2826.html

Doritos Bikini 2009
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2827.html
______________

Viagra now comes in the form of nasal spray.
Its especially good for treating pecker heads
____________

Texting for seniors

* ATD- At the Doctor's

* BFF - Best Friends Funeral

* BTW- Bring the Wheelchair

* BYOT - Bring Your Own Teeth

* CBM- Covered by Medicare

* CUATSC- See You at the Senior Center

* DWI- Driving While Incontinent

* FWIW - Forgot Where I Was

* GGPBL- Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low

* GHA - Got Heartburn Again

* HGBM - Had Good Bowel Movement

* LMDO- Laughing My Dentures Out
___________

fter years of hiding the fact that the love is gone, Mom
and Dad announced to their grown children that
they're getting a divorce.
The kids were totally distraught and, as a stab at
keeping their parents together, arranged a series of sessions
for the whole family with a world-famous marriage counselor.
The counselor worked for hours, tried all of his methods and
tricks, but the parents wouldn't even talk to each other.
Finally, he walked over to a closet, brought out an oboe, and
began to play. After a minute or so, the parents started talking
and, as the counselor continued soloing on the oboe, the couple
discovered they're not that far apart and decided to give
their marriage another try.
The children were amazed and asked the counselor how he managed
to do it. He replied, "Simple. I've never seen a couple
that wouldn't talk through an oboe solo."
____________

An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his IRS agent
and his Lawyer (both church members), to come to his home.
When they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom.
As they entered the room, the preacher held out his hands and
motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed. The preacher
grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled and stared at the ceiling.
For a time, no one said anything. Both the IRS agent and Lawyer
were touched and flattered that the old preacher would
ask them to be with him during his final moment.
They were also puzzled because the preacher had never given
any indication that he particularly liked either one of them.
Finally, the Lawyer asked, "Preacher, why did you ask the two of us to come?"
The old preacher mustered up some strength, then said weakly,
"Jesus died between two thieves, and that's how I want to go, too.
______________

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

Celebrity Punching Game
http://tinyurl.com/awojh23

Beat The Money Rug
http://tinyurl.com/a26d3fq

City Invasion Hacked
http://tinyurl.com/b7jtxho

The Sistine Chapel of Crystals
http://tinyurl.com/b6z9dsm

Virtual Stapler
http://tinyurl.com/aojmn9x

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

The Postman's Corner

Life is like a coin. You can spend it
any way you wish, but you only spend it once.
Lillian Dickson

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!

Honesty. have you ever asked yourself if you
are truly honest? Most people, after a short
reflection, will admit that there is at least something
they have fibbed about to another person. at least
just a little. My pappy was terribly fond of saying
"You know, I never lie, but I have been known to
prevaricate on occasion." So, we say, well, I did not
lie, I just did not tell the whole truth. Some folks may
fib or lie more so than others. And you know the real reason
for such lies, or telling half truths? Mankind does it for
one main reason: they fear rejection from other people.
"What do you do for a living?"
"I'm a branch bank manager"
"(in truth maybe just a janitor)"
And so the stories go.
But the next time you consider telling a lie? Remember this:
is it better to be liked by that person? or to be honest with yourself?

We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

__________

THE COMICS

on one hand
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z761.html

women and cell phones
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z763.html

6,9
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z762.html

relaxing at the dentists office
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z764.html

guide dog
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z765.html

hi honey
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z766.html

I forgot to tell you...
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z767.html

what should I do
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z768.html

the holiday turkey
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z769.html

the right to remain silent
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z770.html
___________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

only you
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2820.html

whiskas
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2821.html

now THAT takes some talent!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2822.html

audible atm machine
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2823.html

Went out last night and got really wasted. I woke up in the middle
of the night next to some chick who was snoring and
farting, so I knew I made it home OK!

The wife's back on the warpath again. She was up for
making a sex movie last night, and all I did was
suggest we should hold auditions for her part.

I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles.
My next shit could spell disaster.

My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them.
It was my own fault. I should have taken them off.

I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last
night, or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.

After both suffering from depression for a while, me
and the wife were going to commit suicide yesterday.
But strangely enough, once she killed herself,
I started to feel a lot better.
_________________

A strained voice called out through the darkened theater,
"Please, is there a doctor in the house?!" Several men
stood up as the lights came on. An older lady pulled her
daughter to stand next to her, "Good, are any of you doctors
single and interested in a date with a good, Jewish girl?"
_____________

A police car pulls up in front of grandma Bessie's house,
and grandpa Morris gets out. The polite policeman
explained that this elderly gentleman said that he was
lost in the park...and couldn't find his way home. " Oy Morris ",
said grandma, " You've been going to that park for over 30 years!
So how could you get lost ? " Leaning close to grandma, so that
the policeman couldn't hear. Morris whispered,
"I wasn't lost.....I was just too tired to walk home."

FUN PAGES

Animator vs. Animation 2 Hacked
http://tinyurl.com/azp9soy

Real Purple Haze Buds
http://tinyurl.com/b3dwxd3

Naked Female Body Fruit
http://tinyurl.com/a95l5cd

Plazma Burst 2 Hacked
http://tinyurl.com/byzkpkc

How Many People Have Your Name?
http://tinyurl.com/bjpebcf

Banepa Bardibas Highway Nepal
http://tinyurl.com/b9oyxxu

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

The conventional view serves to protect
us from the painful job of thinking.
John Kenneth Galbraith

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Its time for my weekly health update. If you are joining us
recently, I began a general "health improvemnt" plan for my
new years resolution. I am happy to say that the caffein
habit has been reduced dramatically. My solution was to mix
the caffein coffee with the decaf when I brewed. not entirely
decaf yet, but making great strides. Still walking, up to 25 minutes
per day now. Pretty awesome for a guy who could barely walk from
the Walmart parking lot into the store without losing his breath
just a few weeks ago. Feeling GREAT! too. Still doing the low carb diet.
Cannot report tremendous weight loss this week.
However, what I can report to you is that
my sugar and diabetes issues have improved greatly. and that is my
primary goal. altho the weight loss would be nice, I have not budged
since last week. The ciggys well, that is another story. I struggle.
Down to only just a couple smokes a day. Not perfect yet. but it will
happen. Just takes a little determination and guts. I will say that
my taste buds are improving already. Food tastes great.
But, its like Lee Iacocca said...
"You've got to say, I think that if I keep working
at this and want it badly enough I can have it.
It's called perseverance."
Lee Iacocca

Overall, my efforts have rewarded me with a new found energy. Wheras
previously, I did not go very many places cuz it took so much effort.
Now, feels like I am going every where! Its a great day to be alive!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
____________

THE COMICS

Popeye says
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z751.html

the truth about the dinosaurs
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z752.html

I feel bad
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z753.html

wish I could sleep
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z754.html

delete cookies
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z755.html

Charlie Brown
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z756.html

this is going to hurt
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z757.html

the truth behind baggy pants
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z758.html

meditation
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z759.html

that's great!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z760.html
___________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

Good Morning Song
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2816.html

Skid Marks Ain't Sexy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2817.html

Kids Are TOO Fat!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2818.html

Banned Racist Oreo Commercial
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2819.html

A man decides to take the opportunity while his wife is
away to paint the toilet seat. The wife comes home sooner than
expected, sits, & gets the seat stuck to her rear. She is understandably
distraught about this asks her husband to drive her to the doctor.
She puts on a large overcoat so as to cover the stuck seat, & they go.
When they get to the doctor's, the man lifts his wife's coat to show
their predicament. The man asks,
"Doctor, have you ever seen anything like this before?"
"Well, yes," the doctor replies, "but never framed."
_______________

Father Murphy was playing golf with a parishioner.
On the first hole, he sliced into the rough. His opponent
heard him mutter, "Hoover!" under his breath.
On the second hole, the ball went straight into a water hazard.
"Hoover!" again, a little louder this time.
On the third hole, a miracle occured & Fr. Murphy's drive landed on the
green only six inches from the hole! "Praise be to God!"
He carefully lined up the putt, but the ball curved around the hole
instead of going in. "HOOVER!!!!"
By this time, his opponent couldn't withhold his curiosity any longer,
&asked why the priest said "Hoover".
"It's the biggest dam I know."
___________

The Cut Rate pharmacist filled the prescription and handed the
nearly-deaf old man the bottle of pills saying, "That'll be $16.50."
Just then the drug store phone rang and the pharmacist answered. As he
did, the old man placed 50 cents on the counter and walked out of the
store with his prescription.
The clerk realized the mistake and shouted but the old man did not hear
and kept walking. When the pharmacist finished his call the clerk
explained what had happened.
The pharmacist scooped up the 50 cents and put it in the cash register
saying to the clerk, "Oh well, 30 cents profit is better than nothing."
___________

A fourth-grader is sitting at dinner with his parents and says, "Pop,
today one of the kids in my class called me a faggot."
His father says, "Well, son, tomorrow I want you to walk up to
that boy on the playground and punch him right in the nose."
His son says, "Do I have to, Pop? He's awful cute."
_______________

FUN PAGES

Lions Running From Elephant
http://tinyurl.com/au26dfv

Obechi Game
http://tinyurl.com/ayqs43b

Two Cute Little Kittens
http://tinyurl.com/atz22mo

Block Blaster Hacked
http://tinyurl.com/bxavgep

Chat With God Online
http://tinyurl.com/b5zavw8

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman