Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I am ready to start publishing again after losing another computer. It has complicated
things being only able to sit at the computer for an hour or so and then shuffling
back to bed until my back stops hurting. I want to thank everyone for the suggestions
regarding the gout. I had many suggestions to try allopurinol but I have been on it for
about ten years now. Once I do have a flare up I have to live with it for the duration
as I can't take NSAIDS to reduce the inflammation and the doctor also doesn't want to
use steroids. Sometimes I think he is punishing me for not staying on a low purine diet.
Buffy and Eva have been munching on a big bag of salted peanuts. Eva came up to me
tonight with a peanut she couldn't open. What she failed to mention was that she had
already licked all of the salt off the shell and it was all yucky when she handed it to me.
To top things off when I managed to open it she complained because I dropped a piece
of peanut on the floor.
Enjoy the chips and this is in plain text and seems to have fewer problems than I
did last time with Windows mail.... buffalo
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Short Chips
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The first time I made love to my wife, I asked her if it made her see God.
She answered, "Not only did I not see God, I'm now an atheist!"
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Did you hear about the house that was built by lesbians?
There were no studs it was all tongue in groove.
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A Swiss guy, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where
two American men are waiting.
"Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?" he says.
The two Englishmen just stare at him.
"Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?"
The two continue to stare.
"Parlare Italiano?"
No response,
"Hablan ustedes Espanol?"
Still nothing.
The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted.
The first American turns to the second and says, "Y'know, maybe
we should learn a foreign language.... "
"Why?" says the other, "That man knew four languages, and it
didn't do him any good.
Tom Roberts
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Crane
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32158.htm
Marriage Penalty
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32159.htm
Coffee Break
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32160.htm
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Wise Chips
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1. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and Sh**head's.
2. The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content.
3. I live in my own little world but it's OK, everyone knows me here.
4. I saw a rather large woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, "Thyroid problem?"
5. I don't do drugs 'cause I find I get the same effect just by standing up really fast.
6. A sign In a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea."
7. Money can't buy happiness but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
8. I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.
9. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the "terminal"?
10. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.
11. The most precious thing we have is life, yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.
12. If life deals you lemons, make lemonade. If life deals you tomatoes, make Bloody Marys.
13. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
14. Shopping tip: You can get shoes for a buck at bowling alleys.
15. I am a nobody; nobody is perfect, and therefore I am perfect.
16. Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.
17. That Claudia Schiffer must be a genius because I told a friend my plan to attain world peace, and he told me I have "Schiffer Brains."
18. No one ever says, "It's only a game!" when their team is winning.
19. Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes and lottery tickets, are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?
20. How long a minute is, depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.
21. Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?
22. Marriage changes passion... suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
23. Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?
24. Snowmen fall from Heaven un-assembled.
25. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been.
Jim Tenn
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26 Feng Shui Secrets.
No Non-sense Feng Shui Secrets Of The Orient - Learn 26
Secrets To Increase Your Wealth, Harmony, And Romance!
http://tinyurl.com/3lree39
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Turnip Chips
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A school teacher asks her class, "What vegetable makes your eyes
water?"
Little Johnny replies, "A turnip, miss."
"No Johnny," says the teacher, "I believe you are thinking of an
onion, aren't you?"
"No miss," says Little Johnny, "Have you never been hit in the balls
with a turnip?"
Johnny was in the playground with his friend Jimmy when he noticed
the brand new shiny watch Jimmy was wearing.
"Did you get that for your birthday?" he asked.
"Nope," Jimmy replied.
"Well, did you get it for Christmas then?" Johnny asked.
"Nope."
"You didn't steal it did you?"
"No," said Jimmy. "I went into Mom and Dad's bedroom the other
night when they were on the job. Dad gave me his watch to get rid
of me."
Johnny was extremely impressed with this idea, and extremely jealous
of Jimmy's new watch. He vowed to get one for himself.
That night he waited outside his parents' room until he heard the
unmistakable noises of lovemaking.
Johnny swung the door wide open and boldly strode into the bedroom.
His father, caught in mid stroke, turned and asked him angrily,
"What do you want now?"
"I wanna watch," Johnny replied.
"Well, stand in the corner and keep quiet then," said his father
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Find Out About Ferrets.
The Complete Guide To Turning Your Fuzzy Into The Happiest,
Best-Behaved, And Healthiest Pet In The World!
http://tinyurl.com/3m8rvxw
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Married Chips
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A woman married three times walked into a bridal shop one day and
told the sales clerk that she was looking for a wedding gown for her
fourth wedding. "Of course, madam," replied the sales clerk,
"exactly what type and color dress are you looking for?"
The bride to be said, "A long frilly white dress with a veil."
The sales clerk hesitated a bit, then said, "Please don't take this
the wrong way, but gowns of that nature are considered more
appropriate for brides who are being married the first time - for
those who are a bit more innocent, if you know what I mean? Perhaps
ivory or sky blue would be nice?'' "Well," replied the customer, a
little peeved at the clerk's directness, "I can assure you that a
white gown would be quite appropriate. Believe it or not, despite
all my marriages, I remain as innocent as a first-time bride. You
see, my first husband was so excited about our wedding, he died as
we were checking into our hotel. My second husband and I got into
such a terrible fight in the limo on our way to our honeymoon that
we had that wedding annulled immediately and never spoke to each
other again."
''What about your third husband?" asked the sales clerk.
"That one was a Democrat," said the woman, "and every night for four
years, he just sat on the edge of the bed and told me how good it
was going to be, but nothing ever happened."
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Basement Waterproofing Manual
The complete basement waterproofing resource.
http://tinyurl.com/3gczy72
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Pregnant Chips
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Q. How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
A. If it's the flu, you'll get better.
Q. What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A. For men to be the ones who get pregnant.
Q. What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A. Childbirth.
Q. The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me.
Why? A. 'Cause you're fatter than they are.
Q. My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's
borderline irrational.
A. So what's your question?
Q. Is there anything I should avoid while recovering
from childbirth?
A. Yes, pregnancy.
Q. Where is the best place to store breast milk?
A. In your breasts.
Q. Is there a safe alternative to breast pumps?
A. Yes, baby lips.
Q. What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing?
A. When you see teeth marks.
Q. Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to
feel and act normal again?
A. When the kids are in college.
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Easy Pumpkin Painting
A must for Halloween, this Step-By-Step Guide offers instruction
and photos for painting cute, whimsical faces on pumpkins.
http://tinyurl.com/3saps6n
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LynnLynn's Links
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Movie Links
Voting Ad
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Argument Settled
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91102.htm
Been Married To long
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91103.htm
Beer Diet
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91104.htm
Beer
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91105.htm
Bowling Bloopers
http://www.buffaloschips.com/9267.htm
Boy & Labrador
http://www.buffaloschips.com/9268.htm
Brass Pole
http://www.buffaloschips.com/9269.htm
Bud Light Wheel
http://www.buffaloschips.com/92610.htm
Brownie
http://www.buffaloschips.com/92699.htm
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Short Chips
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"Genetic scientists say that one day it will be possible to grow new
body parts, like new breasts and new hands.
It's going to be a huge moneymaker, because you know that as soon as
women grow another breast, men will want another hand."
"The Food and Drug Administration is investigating new claims that
taking Viagra can make a person go blind. Apparently, if you take
too much Viagra, you could poke your own eye out." - Conan O'Brien
One day a certain housewife became extremely horny while going about
the routine business of cleaning the house. Unfortunately her
husband was still at work, so she resorted to stripping off all her
clothes and masturbating furiously in the middle of the living room
floor.
She got pretty worked up, and was writhing and moaning when her
husband walked in.
"Honey," he asked, looking up from the day's mail, "when you've
finished vacuuming, could you get started on dinner?"
Because they have to pay for their own uniforms the nurses in Sweden
are threatening to come to work naked.
Somehow I think that's going to be a long strike.
A boy walks up to his dad and ask him "Dad what is that thing
between a girls legs that has hair on it?"
His dad said, "Well son that is called a vagina."
His son thought about that for a minute and then asked, "OK then,
what is that little thing that looks like a really small penis in a
woman's vagina?"
"Well they call that a clitoris son," said the father.
"OK dad, just one more question... What is that really smooth piece
of skin that is below a woman's vagina?"
The boy's dad thinks about this for a minute and says, "Well son, I
don't know the medical term for it but I just call it a chin rest."
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Toon Chips
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Just Once
http://www.buffaloschips.com/42051.htm
IRS
http://www.buffaloschips.com/42603.htm
It Fits
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32157.htm
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Hovercraft Central.
Discover The Fun Scientific Innovations Allowing You To Build
Your Own Hovercraft.
http://tinyurl.com/3wz8nfo
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Limerick Chips
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ave you heard about the four McCoy brothers?
The first worked in a factory as a sock tucker
The second worked in a factory as a cork soaker
The third worked in a factory as a coke sacker
And the fourth brother-he was the real McCoy.
(Richard Lederer)
A salvation Lassie named Claire
Was having her first love affair.
As she climbed into bed
She reverently said,
"I wish to be opened with prayer."
A man from the Washington Post
Once had it off with a ghost;
At the height of orgasm
The pale ectoplasm
Shrieked: "Coming! I'm coming...almost!"
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Electronics Repair
Schemes and Service Manuals
http://tinyurl.com/3twwmx5
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Parting Chips
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On a visit to my wife's native England for our honeymoon, we arrived
at London's Gatwick Airport. Tania headed for the British-passport
control line while I, an American, waited in the foreigners'line.
When my turn came, the customs officer asked me the purpose of my
visit. "Pleasure," I replied. "I'm on my honeymoon." The officer
looked first to one side of me, then the other. "That's very
interesting, sir," he said as he stamped my passport. "Most men
bring their wives with them."
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When Stan Caddell wanted to wash his Chevrolet, he backed the car
into a foot of water in the Mississippi River at Hannibal, Missouri.
When he got out to clean the car, it floated away. Police were able
to retrieve the vehicle some distance downstream. According to an
officer on the scene, no action would be taken against the driver
because "you can't ticket a guy for being stupid..."
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Three men were in heaven discussing how they died. The first man
said, "I died of cancer." The second man said, "I died of
Tuberculosis." The third man said, "I died of seenus." The first two
men asked, "Do you mean sinus?" The third man said, "No, I mean
SEENUS. I was out with my best friend's wife and he seen us!"
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Self-Sufficient-Life.com
Keeping and raising Chickens and Poultry. Build A Chicken Coop. Growing
your own fruit and vegetables. Beekeeping (Honey bees). Herbal Remedies,
Herbs, Remedy. Hydroponic Gardening, Hydroponics Garden. Building Your
Own Greenhouse.
http://tinyurl.com/4x68msn
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
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Adult Adult Adult
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Remember 9/11/01
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In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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