I've been talking about gestation, frustration, and unnaturally long cycles of trying to understand the path forward for many months now.
The cycle looks something like this:
Phase I: I don't know what I'm doing (gestation, faith, patience)
Phase II: Okay, I think I know what I'm doing (mild clarity, beginning to plan & take action)
Phase III: Wait a minute, do I know what I'm doing?? (pause, reflect & gestate still more)
Phase IV: I know what I'm doing! (renewed clarity, confident action)
I thought I was going to be done with Phase IV but — alas, alack — I was not. The universe appears to be serving me the extended director's cut of GESTATION: The Great Unfolding.
So now I'm in:
Phase V: Um, maybe that thing I thought I should be doing is not what I should be doing? (pause again, pause deeper, reconsider)
Yeesh.
This whole situation reminds me of a joke my brother and I have about transformation, which I talked about in this vintage Hurry Slowly episode.
Do you remember Transformers? We were talking about a silver one that transforms from a car into a robot and how — when it's in the midst of transitioning into a car — it only has two wheels on one side so all it can do is drive around in a circle on its side, yelling: "Still transforming! Still transforming!"
That's a bit what I feel like right now. With each these newsletters, I keep crying out: "Still transforming!" As if someone is knocking on the door to my dressing room and it'll just be a moment before I emerge, resplendent in my new outfit.
But the truth is: I'm not sure when I'll be emerging from this little chrysalis — or what I'll be wearing.
As one of my teachers said to me when I was describing my impatience: "You are accustomed to long, bright, open seasons of creativity."
And it's true. I am. What a gift and a blessing that has been.
But, at the moment, I am being called to cultivate a deeper familiarity with fallowness.
My soil is demanding rest.
So I am going to — at last — surrender.
Rather than continuing to yell, "Still transforming!" at you every few weeks, I am going to take a break from writing, speaking, and sharing.
I will pause sending this newsletter, as well as publishing podcast episodes, for the remainder of the summer, and I have decided to cancel the summer session of my creative incubator, KILN.
I hope to return in the Fall refreshed — ready to re-engage and launch the fall session of KILN.
That said, I am no longer pretending to have any idea what schedule this mysterious process is on. I will re-emerge when the time is right.
The only reason why I am writing about gestation (again) is to normalize these extended periods of fallowness and not knowing.
If you are there, too, know that we are in it together.
In the meantime, I hope you have a beautiful summer.
I will see you after a little rest & fallowness.
Scroll on for links. ✨
Much love, Jocelyn
Pablo, Acadia National Park.
Link About It
Your mind is being fracked — Ezra Klein and D. Graham Burnett on what's at stake in the extractive attention economy.
What it takes to heal — an essential conversation with Prentis Hemphill and adrienne maree brown on transforming ourselves to transform the world.
Hi, I'm Jocelyn, the human behind this newsletter. I host the Hurry Slowly podcast, teach online courses, and practice energy work. You can learn more about me at jkg.co. If you have a question, you can always feel free to hit reply. 🤓
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