[PostmansCorner] THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

 

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THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!

Teacher to a third grade student: "Billy, if both of your parents

were born in 1967, how old are they now?"
Billy: "It depends.."
Teacher: "It depends on what?"
Billy: "It depends on whether you ask my father or my mother.

A Mexican man becomes an instant millionaire after winning

the lottery.With his newfound wealth, he decides on exactly

what he will buy. He buys a 20 acre plot of land in Mexico and

hires an architect."I want mi casa to be built right there, with

big columns in front, and a marble foyer, and at the end of the

hall I want a halo statue." The architect, excited about making

mega bucks off this man, jots down exactly what the Mexican

wants," I'll do it sir, I'll make this a fine house for you!"
All the plans are made and the architect starts construction.

He searches six different countries to find exquisite columns for

the front of the house and has marble shipped in from France to

line the foyer.The only problem he has is that he cannot locate a

halo statue. Knowing that religious symbols are important to many

Mexicans, he continues to search high and low for month after month.

The house is finally complete, but alas, the architect was never

able to locate a halo statue.Swallowing his pride for not being able

to complete the order, he takes the Mexican to see his new home.
"Si Senor!" exclaims the Mexican. "You got da columns in front of

mi casa!" The architect smiles. They enter the house and the Mexican

notices the marble floor. "Wonderful! I love mi new marble floor Senor!"

states the Mexican as he wanders down the hall. He reaches the end

of the hall and looks puzzled."Senor? Where is my halo statue?"

asks the Mexican. "Well, sir, I'm afraid to have to tell you this,

but I searched high and low and just could not for the life of me figure

out what a halo statue is, much less find one for you anywhere,"

says the architect, hanging his head in shame.
"What? You don't know what a halo statue is?"
"No, sir, I'm sorry, I do not know," replies the architect.
"You know," says the Mexican, "it's that thing that goes 'ringy dingy'

and you pick it up and say, 'halo? statue?"

Sitting in a small restaurant, a client asked
the proprietor for the menu.
"We don't need a menu here," said the
proprietor, "We can serve anything you ask for."
"What? Anything?" asked the client.
"Yes, anything at all." was the reply.
"In that case, I would like some camel's tail
soup."
"Very well, sir, but it will take a little while,
and you will have to wait a while for it."
"That's OK," said the client. He sat waiting for
an hour or so, then a waiter brought a tureen
of fragrant soup. He ate the lot, and was thoroughly
delighted. He called for the proprietor. "I really
enjoyed that," he said, "But surely it was not
really camel's tail soup."
"It certainly was" exclaimed the proprietor. "Tell
you what, come with me."
The client was led to the back of the restaurant,
where a Porsche was parked, and was motioned
into it. They drove about a hundred miles into the
countryside, to an enormous farm. There the
client was amazed to see every possible kind of
exotic plants, animals and birds. The restaurant
proprietor pointed to a compound in which there
were two camels, of which one had only a stump
of a tail, bandaged, with a trace of blood.
"That's where your soup came from," he announced.
The client was absolutely floored. "That is
remarkable," he gasped, "but there must
sometimes be demands you can't satisfy."
"No," replied the proprietor, "we have never been
caught out... Wait, no, we were once... when a
customer asked for dinosaur blood soup on toast. We
were clean out of bread that day!!!"

Marty arrives home from work and as soon as he sets foot in the
house, Sadie is on to him, telling him that their friend Marvin has
finally quit smoking.
"Imagine that, Marty," she says, "someone who smoked 3 packs a day
for 20 years has stopped smoking all of a sudden. Now that's what I
call will power - something that you definitely don't have."
But Sadie hadn't finished.
"And that's not all. I hear that Bernie, that drunken friend of
yours, is finally giving up drinking - another example of the kind
of will power that you don't have."
"OK, Sadie," said Marty, "you want to see will power, do you? Well
here's will power. I am going to sleep in the spare room from now
on. I am going to prove to you that I won't be affected at all by
not sleeping with a woman."
Marty keeps to his word.
One night, when he had been sleeping alone for a week, there is a
knock on his bedroom door.
Marty shouts out, "What do you want?"
Sadie replies, "Marvin has started smoking again."

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Posted by: "Martin a.k.a. the postman" <martin7957@yahoo.com>

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