welcome to:
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Husband says; "When I'm gone you'll never find another man like me".
Wife replied; "What makes you think I'd want another man like you!"
John and Greg driving along the highway looking for a place to stop and picnic.
John says, "Let's stop here, and have our picnic under that tree."
Greg says, "No! Let's have it right here in the middle of the road."
They fought for a bit, but finally agreed to have it in the middle of the road.
All of a sudden, a car comes speeding towards them and has to swerve
John says, "Let's stop here, and have our picnic under that tree."
Greg says, "No! Let's have it right here in the middle of the road."
They fought for a bit, but finally agreed to have it in the middle of the road.
All of a sudden, a car comes speeding towards them and has to swerve
into the tree to keep from hitting them.
John says, "You were right! If we were under that tree, we'd be dead now!"
John says, "You were right! If we were under that tree, we'd be dead now!"
One Christmas Eve, a frenzied young man ran into a pet shop looking
for an unusual Christmas gift for his wife. The shop owner suggested
a parrot, named Chet, which could sing famous Christmas carols. This
seemed like the perfect gift. "How do I get him to sing?" The young
man asked, excitedly.
"Simply hold a lighted match directly under his feet." was
the shop owner's reply.
The shop owner held a lighted match under the parrot's left foot.
Chet began to sing: "Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells! ..." The shop owner
then held another match under the parrot's right foot. Then Chet's
tune changed, and the air was filled
with: "Silent Night, Holy Night..."
The young man was so impressed that he paid the shop-keeper
and ran home as quickly as he could with Chet
under his arm. When the
wife saw her gift she was overwhelmed."How beautiful!" She exclaimed, "Can he talk?"
"No," the young man replied, "But he can sing. Let me show you." So
the young man whipped out his lighter and placed it under Chet's
left
foot, as the shop-keeper had shown him, and Chet crooned: "Jingle
Bells! Jingle bells!..." The man then moved the lighter to Chet's
right foot, and out came: "Silent Night, Holy night..."
The wife, her face filled with curiosity, then asked, "What
if we hold the lighter between his legs?" The man did not
know. "Let's try it," he answered, eager to please his wife.
So they held the lighter between Chet's legs. Chet twisted
his face, cleared his throat, and the little parrot sang out loudly
like it was the performance of his life: "Chet's nuts roasting on an
open fire...."
Ever since I was a child, I've always had a fear of someone under my bed.
So I went to a shrink and told him: "I've got problems.
Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it.
I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy."
"Just put yourself in my hands for one year" said the shrink.
"Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to
get rid of those fears."
"How much do you charge?"
"Eighty dollars per visit," replied the doctor.
"I'll sleep on it," I said.
Six months later the doctor met me on the street.
"Why didn't you come to see me about those fears you were having?" he asked.
"Well, eighty bucks a visit, three times a week for a year, is $12,480.00.
A bartender cured me for $10.00.
I was so happy to have saved all that money, so I went
"How much do you charge?"
"Eighty dollars per visit," replied the doctor.
"I'll sleep on it," I said.
Six months later the doctor met me on the street.
"Why didn't you come to see me about those fears you were having?" he asked.
"Well, eighty bucks a visit, three times a week for a year, is $12,480.00.
A bartender cured me for $10.00.
I was so happy to have saved all that money, so I went
and bought a new pickup truck."
"Is that so?" he said with a bit of an attitude.
"And how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?"
"He told me to cut the legs off the bed. Ain't nobody under there now."
"Is that so?" he said with a bit of an attitude.
"And how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?"
"He told me to cut the legs off the bed. Ain't nobody under there now."
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Posted by: "Martin a.k.a. the postman" <martin7957@yahoo.com>
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