Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
buffalo says back to the subject of cow tipping from the archives.
Sir, your recent "Cow Chips" article re tipping cows:
I'd just like to point out that it's quite possible to drop a
standing cow, by placing index finger in one nostril of the cow,
thumb in the other, and twisting. The cow (whose nose is quite
sensitive) will follow the twisting pressure, until it falls over.
No other force required. I also have to point out that I'm
referring to the dairy animals on our farm, which were relatively
quiet and used to being handled, not half-wild beef animals.
But aside from that, many thanks for the on-going enjoyment your
emails afford me.
Thanks again Graham P Carey.
Ok folks there is no cow tipping permitted on this part of the
range, or buffalo tipping for that matter. Cow tipping if possible
can be harmful to the animal. Once on their side the cow will start
to bloat and even if it is able to get up may be affected by
pneumonia. If left down they can die in a matter of hours. Thereby
a drunken prank can turn into a crime where you owe several thousand
dollars for an animal that was minding its own business. To top it
off using the above method your fingers are going to be covered with
cow snot and these animal never blow their noses. I mean they don't
even use Kleenex. The CSI guys will come in and find cow mucus
under your nails and your in the pen and I hear they don't take
kindly to cow tippers in the dairy belt penal system.
buffalo says all of this said I think there is a way to tip the cow.
You can't do it with 4 legs on the ground but perhaps with enough
people and only three legs on the ground you could do it. First you
will need six people and a cow, not a bull, because bulls can really
upset. Five people on one side of the cow and one person on the
other with a long stick. You want to rub the cows stomach just in
front of her back leg. When she gets annoyed she will pick up her
back leg and try to kick you and the stick into the next 40 acres
and that is when the other five people give her a shove. This will
probably only work once so get it right the first time because what
cows lack in brains they can make up for in revenge.
If anybody has a lot of time on their hands and wants to build a cow
simulator, I will be happy to print your results.
Yo Buff, Sorry to bust yer bubble, Dude, but I've been cow tippin'
and so has my son along with a bunch of his buddies. It is not
urban legend.
We lived on a ranch for several years and it is real and really
funny.
Very very difficult as they sleep very lightly and you have to be
absolutely silent up to the very last second. I would give a bunch
of drunken frat boys little or no chance of success. Also, we are
talking about Beeves, not Holsteins or Herefords. The whole body
weight to height distribution equation is completely different.
Also, I do agree it is dangerous, not only for the cow but for the
tippers.
One of my son's buddies narrowly avoided being kicked in the head on
one outing.
MeatMan buffalo says I am reminded of a friend called Big Rick.
People used to describe him as strong back, weak mind. Rick said
one time that the cops really hated him because he had rolled
someone's old station wagon.
I asked him how he had done it, and he said, " I just grabbed it and
rolled it over on it's side." I think Rick could have probably
tipped a cow.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 2050
Stowaway
It is time to head back to Guthrie and the usual
chaos reigns. BJ is packing the car, Diana is chasing
Katie around the house to put a leash on her while
Sandi is sitting proudly at the door ready to go. Val
and Rudy are close by at the door the cats are running
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BJ: Okay, I got the last of the bags in the car. Whew,
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Diana: I got the little monster, Katie. She is in the car.
I will open the door and let Sandi out.
BJ: Fine and she will just hop in the car. Love ya hon,
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Diana: Drive careful.
BJ: I will.
Diana: Here comes Sandi.
BJ: Come on girl get in the car.
Sandi: You know me daddy in the front seat next to you.
About thirty minutes later giggling is heard from the
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BJ: Katie are you giggling?
Katie: No, not me.
BJ: Looks in the mirror to see.... Val...
Ring ring ring!
Diana: Hello.
BJ: I have Val.
Diana: I wondered where she was. Well I guess you
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The herd
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Adult Adult
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