Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I may have writer's block and then again my brain may require
defrosting. After shivering for the last two days, I shut all of the
windows and turn the heat back on. So rather than sit here and
wait for my brain to thaw out while you could be reading the rest
of the chips, I am sending this out to you and hopefully I will
have something to say tomorrow other than Brrrr.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
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Arizona Chips
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April 30th!
Just moved to Arizona .. Now this is a state that knows how to live!
Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! It is
beautiful.
I've finally found my home. I love it here.
May 14th: Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem.
Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a
pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun
worshiper.
May 30th: Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of
cactus and rocks. What a breeze it is to maintain. No more mowing the
lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
June 15th: Fell asleep by the community pool. Got 3rd degree burns over
60% of my body. Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I
learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like
this.
July 2nd: I didn't see my cat sneak into my car when I left this
morning. By the time I got to the hot car at noon, Lomita had died and
swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the upholstery.
The car now smells like Kibbles and shit. I learned my lesson thought.
No, more pets in this heat.
July 25th: The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!!
And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the
AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to
order parts.
July 30th: Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3 nights now. $325,000
house and I can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
Aug 4th: It's 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today.
It cost $800 and gets the temperature down to 85. I hate this stupid
state.
Aug: 8th: If another wise-ass cracks, "Hot enough for you today?", I'm
going to strangle him. Damn heat. By the time I get to work the radiator
is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked
cat!!
Sept 9th: Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and when I
sat on the seats in the car, I thought my ass was on fire. I lost 2
layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and ass. Now my
car smells like burnt hair, fried ass and baked cat.
Sept 20th: The weather report might as well be damn recording. Hot and
sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do shit for 5 damn months and
the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever
rain in this damn desert? Water rationing will be next, so my $1700
worth of cactus will just dry up and blow over. Even the cactus can't
live in this damn heat.
Sept 24th: Welcome to HELL!!!! Temperature got to 119 today. Forgot to
crack the window and blew the damn windshield out of the car. The
installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My
daughter had to spend $1500 to bail me out of jail. Freaking Arizona .
What kind of sick demented idiot would want to live here?? Will write
later to let you know how the trial goes.
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
excuse me
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l071.html
memory lane
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l072.html
not one of mine
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Short Chips
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Before my daughter went on her first date, I gave her "the talk."
"Sometimes, it's easy to get carried away when you're with a
boy," I said. "Remember, a short moment of indiscretion could ruin your
life."
"Don't worry," she said. "I don't plan on ruining my life until I
get married."
Patricia
I was in line at Wal*Mart with a full cart when my three-yearr-old
said, "I have to poop!" I asked the elderly man behind me if I could
leave my cart while I took him to the bathroom.
When I came back I thanked him again and said, "At that age, when
you gotta go, you gotta go," and he shook his head and said, "Not *just*
at that age."
Patricia
A customer called our service line demanding help with her TV, which
wouldn't come on.
"I'm sorry, but we can't send a technician out today due to the
blizzard," I told her.
Unsatisfied, she barked, "I need my TV fixed today! What else am
I supposed to do while the power is out?!"
Patricia
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Chef Chips
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The Top 10 Pickup Lines Used By Chefs.....
10. "Your eyes are like limpid pools of chicken stock."
9. "I know we've just met, but will you marinade me?"
8. "Cumin here often?"
7. "How do you like your eggs? Poached, scrambled or fertilized?"
6. "Care to come back to my place and kick it up a notch?"
5. "Hey, weren't you in my 'Introduction to Melons' class?"
4. "We've now simmered for the recommended 25 minutes.....time to
come
to a full boil!"
3. "You're twice as sweet as a creme brulee.....and less drippy."
2. "Get the buttah."
And the Number 1 Pickup Line used by Chefs...
1. "Uh, yeah.....I invented Spaghetti-O's"
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Viagra Chips
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Top 10 viagra advertising slogans
10. Viagra, Whaazzzzz Up!
9. Viagra, The quicker pecker upper.
8. Viagra, Like a rock!
7. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there
overnight.
6. Viagra, Be all that you can be.
5. Viagra, Reach out and touch someone.
4. Viagra, Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.
3. Viagra, Tastes great! More filling!
2. Viagra, We bring good things to life!
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Sperm Chips
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In a Biology class, the professor was discussing the high
glucose levels found in semem which gives the sperm all the
energy for their journey.
A female freshman raised her hand and asked, "If I understand
you correctly, you're saying there is a lot of glucose, as in
sugar, in semen?"
"That's correct", responded the professor, going onto to add
statistical info.
Raisng her hand again, she asked, "Then why doesn't it taste
sweet?"
After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing.
The poor girl's face turned bright red, and as she realized
exactly what she had inadvertently said (or rather implied),
she picked up her books without a word and walked out of the
class, never to return.
However, as she was going out of the door, the professor's
reply was classic. Totally straight-faced he answered her
question.
"It doesn't taste sweet because the taste buds for sweetness
are on the tip of your tongue and not the back of your throat.
Have a good day!"
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/An Evening Out
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Misc_files/A/Ev.html
Crosses In the Sand Via Juanita
http://community-2.webtv.net/eclectic-guy/CROSSESINTHESAND/
Law Of The Wild Via Juanita
http://community-2.webtv.net/olebigboy/LAWOFTHEWILD/
John w/ How Great Thou Art
http://heavens-gates.com/howgreatthouart/
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Surfin Surfari
'COLUMBO' STAR PETER FALK DIES
http://deathbeeper.com/8937801.html
D.A.R.E Site
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World's Largest Things
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When Sandman Attacks
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Hello,
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Web Of Trust
http://www.mywot.com
Free Printable Recipe Cards Via Wesley
http://www.freeprintablerecipecards.net/category/new
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We would like to know if you would be interested in working from
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Animal World
Cat In a Box!
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Rarely Seen Babies
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Movie Links
Talking Italian
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81829.htm
Tattoo Remover
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81830.htm
Rocking Horse Ride
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81831.htm
063
http://www.buffaloschips.com/8291.htm
Blind Man Levis
http://www.buffaloschips.com/8292.htm
How to get jail time for a speeding ticket
http://www.buffaloschips.com/65r7.htm
Hrbtno
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ujyg687.htm
Ice fishing
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If my nose was running money
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Important Message
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Divorce Chips
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Divorce Letter Dear Wife:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you
forever. I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have
nothing to show for it.
These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me
that you quit your job today and that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new
haircut, had cooked your favourite meal and even wore a brand new
pair of silk boxers. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to
sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love
me Anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as
husband and wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me
anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.
Your EX-Husband P. S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are
moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband -
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true
that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good
man is a far cry from what you've been.
I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant
whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when
you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind
was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to
say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment .
And when you cooked my favourite meal, you must have gotten me
confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years
ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the
$49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a
coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me
that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it
out. So when I hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job
and bought us two tickets to Jamaica . But when I got home you were
gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess.
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer
said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me.
So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!
P. S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla
was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem.
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Toon Chips
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Huge Enemys
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30843.htm
He Likes you
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30844.htm
Did it hurt
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30845.htm
Herbert
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30846.htm
Be Polite
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30847.htm
Hillbilly
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30848.htm
Burning
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30849.htm
Hold your Load
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30850.htm
Sports Finger
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32801.htm
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Limerick Chips
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There was a young fellow named Skinner
Who took a young lady to dinner.
At a quarter to eight
they sat down and ate;
And at twenty to nine it was in her.
_______________________________
There was a young engineer named Miss Holt,
Who had an assistant as spry as a Colt.
When she asked for a screw,
What did the young man do,
But offer her two nuts and a bolt.
_______________________________
There was a young fellow named Charteris
Put his hand where his young lady's garter is.
She said, "I don't mind,
And up higher you'll find
The place where my fucker and farter is."
<Snagged by>
Ross
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Parting Chips
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A Priest was seated next to a Newfie on a flight to St. John's.
After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken.
The Newfie asked for a Lambs rum and Pepsi, which was brought and
placed before him.
The flight attendant then asked the minister if he would like a
drink.
He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen
whores than let liquor touch my lips."
The Newfie then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me
too. I didn't know we had a choice"
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 2061
Politics cont.
Rudy: Sandi so how do the people dig themselves out of this
mess?
Sandi: They have started. The tea party is good but continue
on. It needs to be a ground swell. From the school board elections
to city elections, to county, state and on up. For change to happen,
it must occur locally first. It will be like a snowball rolling down
hill.
Katie: I get it. Most people have been shooting for the top, but
it is better to start at the bottom.
Sandi: Right, like the old adage, build your home on a solid
foundation. The US of A has a solid foundation, the constitution,
but somewhere along the line, a lot of people have forgotten
about it. It is up to us to remind them, it is still The Document.
Val: A plan.
Katie: You going to run for Dog catcher?
The herd
(off my soap box)
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Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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