Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Happy Father's Day out there to all that have assumed the
responsibilty of bringing a child into this world and or assuring
that a child has the chance to become an adult. As the piece
below demonstrates, we view our parents differently as we
go through life. From teens through early adulthood I
considered myself smarter than my Dad. He knew the way I
felt but never debated it with me and years later when i had a
family of my own and sought his advice frequently, he never
once took the chance to say I told you so. Even though he has
been gone 15 years, I still miss him and wish he could have stayed
even a few years longer. I guess when it is all said and done,
being a good father is not a matter of DNA but more a matter of
will you be remembered?
My Father Knows Everything
At 4 years-old: My daddy can do anything.
At 7 years-old: My dad knows a lot, a whole lot.
At 8 years-old: My father doesn't know quite everything.
At 12 years-old: Oh, well, naturally Father doesn't know that,
either.
At 14 years-old: Father? Hopelessly old-fashioned.
At 21 years-old: Oh, that man is out-of-date. What did you expect?
At 25 years-old: He knows a little bit about it, but not much.
At 30 years-old: Maybe we ought to find out what Dad thinks.
At 35 years-old: A little patience. Let's get Dad's assessment
before we do anything.
At 50 years-old: I wonder what Dad would have thought about that.
He was pretty smart.
At 60 years-old: My Dad knew absolutely everything!
At 65 years-old: I'd give anything if Dad were here so I could
talk this over with him. I really miss that man.
Enjoy the chips ... buffalo
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Net Chips
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WHY THE INTERNET IS LIKE A VAGINA
The more people use it the bigger it gets.
If you play with it too much you can go blind.
You wouldn't believe the things people put in there!
Some people think they know how to move around in it, but they
really
can't interface.
In the long-distant past, its only purpose was to receive
information
considered vital to the survival of the species.
Some people still think that's the only thing it should be used for,
but
most folks today use it for fun most of the time.
It has no conscience and no memory.
It provides a way to interact with other people.
If you don't apply the appropriate protective measures, it can
spread
viruses.
It has no brain of its own. Instead, it uses yours. If you use it
too
much you'll find it becomes more and more difficult to think
coherently.
You think you're just playing around, but you can get involved in
something that takes 9 months to finish.
The part you see is actually just the front end of a very
complicated
system.
If you're not careful what you do with it, it can get you in big
trouble.
It has its own agenda. Somehow, no matter how good your intentions,
it will warp your behavior. Later you may ask yourself "why on earth
did I do that?"
Some folks have it, some don't.
Those who have it think that those who don't have it are somehow
inferior.
Those who don't have it may agree that it's a nifty toy, but think
it's
not worth the fuss that those who do have it make about it. Still,
many
of those who don't have it spend all their time trying to access it.
Once you've started playing with it, it's hard to stop. Some people
would just play with it all day if they didn't have work to do.
Some people believe in security and avoiding penetration but others
believe it should be open to all comers.
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Military Chips
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A military cargo plane, flying over a populated area, suddenly loses
power and starts to nose down. The pilot tries to pull up, but with
all their cargo, the plane is too heavy. So he yells to the
soldiers in back to throw things out to make the plane lighter.
They throw out a pistol.
"Throw out more!" shouts the pilot. So they throw out a rifle.
"More!"
he cries again. They heave out a missile, and the pilot regains
control.
He pulls out of the dive and lands safely at an airport. They get
into a jeep and drive off. Pretty soon they meet a boy on the side
of the road who's crying. They ask him why he's crying and he says
"A pistol hit me on the head!" They drive more and meet another boy
who's crying even harder. Again they ask why and the boy says, "A
rifle hit me on the head!" They apologize and keep driving. They
meet a boy on the sidewalk who's laughing hysterically. They ask
him, "Kid, what's so funny?"
The boy replies, "I farted and blew up my school!"
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Short Chips
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The shy young man and his shapely date were parked under a romantic
moon. Placing his hand on her thigh, he whispered, "I love you."
With a deep sigh, the girl replied, "A little higher." "I love you,"
came the higher-pitched reply.
What is the difference between frustration and panic? Frustration
is the first time you discover you can't do it the second time.
Panic is the second time you discover you can't do it the first
time.
Joan had invited her younger sister, Nancy, to leave her country
home and come to the city for a weekend to see how the urban half
lived.
She also arranged for a friend of hers named Bill to take Nancy out
for a night on the town. After a pleasant dinner and a show, Bill
and Nancy went to Bill's apartment for a nightcap. They talked and
listened to soft music for a pleasant interlude; then Bill suggested
they retire to the bedroom. "Oh, no," Nancy protested. "I don't
think my sister would like it." "Nonsense," said Bill, as he gently
took her arm. "She loves it."
Two girls are sitting in a movie-theater.
"That man beside me is fumbling his crotch", one whispers to the
other. "Just ignore it", is the answer.
"Easy for you to say. He's using my hand!".
One Greek says to another, "Do you think you'll ever go back to
Greece?"
"No," he answered, "I'll stick with K-Y Jelly!"
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Vet Chips
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Two old retired Vets were sitting at the VFW arguing
about who'd had the tougher career.
"I did 30 years in the Corps," Sam, the former Marine
declared proudly, "and fought in three of my country's
wars. Fresh out of boot camp, I hit the beach at Okinawa,
clawed my way up the blood-soaked sand, and eventually took
out an entire enemy machine gun nest with a single grenade.
As a sergeant, I fought in Korea alongside General MacArthur.
We pushed back the enemy inch by bloody inch, all the
way up to the Chinese border, always under a barrage of
artillery and small arms fire.
Finally, as a Gunny Sergeant, I did three consecutive
combat tours in Vietnam. We humped through the mud and
razor grass for 14hours a day, plagued by rain and
mosquitoes, ducking under sniper fire all day, and mortar
fire all night. In a firefight, we'd fire until our arms
ached and our guns were emp ty, then we'd charge the enemy
with bayonets!"
"Ah," said Elmer, a retired Chief Petty Officer in the U.S. Navy,
with a dismissive wave of his hand,
"Lucky bastard! All shore duty, eh?"
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Parrot Chips
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A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a
perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, "Hey lady!
You're really fucking ugly."
Furious, the lady stormed past the store to work. On the way home
she saw the same parrot and it said to her, "Hey lady! You're
really fucking ugly."
She was incredibly ticked now.
The next day the same parrot again said to her, "Hey lady! You're
really fucking ugly." The lady was so ticked that she went into the
store and said she would sue the store to get rid of the bird. The
store manager apologized profusely and promised he would make sure
the parrot didn't say it again.
When the lady walked past the store that day after work the parrot
called to her, "Hey lady!"
She paused and said, "Yes?"
The bird said, "You know."
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva w/Happy Fathers Day (Dad)
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BROTHER BOB'S POEMS OF THE WEEK,/FATHER'S DAY EDITION
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Walk Slower
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Bored Chips
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Two guys were walking along a deserted beach and
bored t tears. The first guy says: "Hey, I have
an idea. Let's split up. You walk as far as you
can that way down the beach, and I'll walk as far
as I can the other way down the beach. We'll meet
here tomorrow and tell each other what we did.
The other gentleman agreed and each man began
walking in opposite directions down the beach.
The next day, they meet and the first guy says:
"So...Tell me about your day!"
The second guy smiled and said: "Oh, I had a
great one! I found a small little oasis with a
pond and some cool grass and spent the day
swimming and eating coconuts from a tree! What
happened to you?
His friend laughed and said: "You're never going
to believe it!! I walked about five miles up the
coast and came to these train tracks. I walked
down the tracks about a mile and found this girl
with the most incredible body I've ever seen tied
to the rails! I untied her and carried her to
some grass nearby and we spent all day and night
having the most incredible sex I've ever had!
This girl was amazing! We did everything
together!"
The other guy looked at his friend in amazement
and asked him..."Everything?"
"Everything!" he replied. "Did she suck your
dick?"
"Well...no...She didn't do that..." the man said
with a sigh..."I couldn't find her head!"
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Limerick Chips
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A team playing baseball in Dallas.
Called the umpire bad names out of malice.
While that worthy had fits,
The team made eight hits
And a girl in the bleachers named Alice.
There was a young lady named Banker
Who slept while the ship lay at anchor;
She awoke in dismay
When she heard the mate say,
"Now hoist up the topsheet and spanker!"
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Parting Chips
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A man watching a hockey game on TV kept switching channels to a
raunchy porn featuring a lusty couple having sex. "I don't know
whether to watch them or the game," he said to his wife.
"For heaven's sake, watch them," his wife said. "You already know
how to play Hockey!"
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 2056
Diana
Rudy: Okay Pop where's Toots?
Val and I have been bunking with for several days
and it was okay for a while, but what have you
done with Toots?
BJ: I have done nothing with her. She has gone
to Idaho to see her daughter.
Val: Ida who?
BJ: We live in Oklahoma and.
Rudy: No, we live in Kansas and you have dognapped
us to Oklahoma.
BJ: Whoa, hang on...the options were to put you in
a kennel or have me watch you.
Rudy: Hrumpt! Is she alive? Is Toots alive?
BJ: I can phone her and you can talk to her.
Rudy: It probably would be a recording.
BJ: Ack! She will be home tomorrow.
Rudy: Well why didn't you say so in the first place.
The herd
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Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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