Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I was in taking a nap with Dini yesterday afternoon and Eva
came in. I didn't have to open my eyes to know that it was
Eva because Dini was growling at her, which meant she had
been torturing Dini earlier in the day. Eva pestered ne till I
opened my eyes and watched her do the Hokey Pokey with her
Elmo Doll. I told her it was cute though hardly worth waking
me up over and went back to sleep. I woke up again about
an hour later needing to go to the bathroom. When I got to the
bathroom Elmo was standing in front of the toilet with the seat
up which was only mildly strange, but it did bring up a few
questions of etiquette that I have never addressed before.
I wasn't sure whether I should leave and wait for him to finish
or just use the toilet with him standing there watching. I settled
on just giving him a kick to over by the bath tub.
That's all that is happening in my life right now, so I'd have to say
life is pretty good. Enjoy the chips..... buffalo
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Playboy Chips
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Playboy Specialty Issues That Never Made It
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- Women Racked With Self Doubt,
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- "Does This Look Infected?" feature issue
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
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Heaven Chips
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All arrivals in heaven have to go through a bureaucratic examination to
determine whether admission will be granted.
One room has a clerk who inputs computerized records of what each
applicant did on his or her last day of life.
The first applicant of the day explains that his last day was not a good
one. "I came home early and found my wife lying naked in bed.
She claimed she had just gotten out of the shower.
Well, her hair was dry and I checked the shower and it was completely
dry too.
I knew she was into some hanky-panky and I began to look for her lover.
I went onto the balcony of our 9th floor apartment and found the SOB
clinging to the rail by his finger tips.
I was so angry that I began bashing his fingers with a flower pot.
He let go and fell, but his fall was broken by some awnings and bushes.
On seeing he was still alive I found super human strength to drag our
antique cedar chest to the balcony and throw it over.
It hit the man and killed him.
At this point the stress got to me and I suffered a massive heart attack
and died.?
The clerk thanked him and sent him on to the next office.
The second applicant said that his last day was his worst.
"I was on the roof of an apartment building working on the AC equipment,
I stumbled over my tools and toppled off the building.
I managed to grab onto the balcony rail of a 9th floor apartment but
some idiot came rushing out on the balcony and bashed my hands with a
flower pot, I fell but hit some awnings and bushes and survived, but as
I looked up I saw a huge chest falling toward me, I tried to crawl out
of the way but failed And was hit and killed by the chest.
" The clerk couldn't help but chuckle as he directs the man to the next
room.
He is still giggling when his third customer of the day enters.
He apologizes and says "I doubt that your last day was as interesting as
the fellow in here just before you."
"I don't know" replies the man, "picture this, I'm buck naked hiding'
In this cedar chest....."
Gordon
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Animal Chips
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Quickie Animal Jokes
What do you get when you cross an Owl and a Rooster?
A cock that stays up all night.
What do you get when you put an experimental monkey in a blender?
Rhesus Pieces.
If there is H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what's on the
outside? K9P.
What is brown and sits in the forest?
Winnie's poo.
What do you get when you cross a pit bull with a collie?
A dog that runs for help after it bites your leg off.
What do you call three rabbits in a row, hopping backwards
simultaneously? A receding hareline.
What does an elephant use for a Tampon?
A sheep!
How many canaries can you get under a Scotsman's kilt?
Depends how long the perch is.
A fly sees a cute little female fly land on a pile of crap. He
buzzes down and says, "Excuse me, miss, is this stool taken?"
How do you know if elephants have been making love in your back
yard? The trash can liner bags are missing.
What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
You either get an onion with long floppy ears, or you get a piece of
ass that brings tears to your eyes!
What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam."
What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.
Where do you get virgin wool from?
Ugly sheep.
Did you hear about the nearsighted skunk?
He tried to rape a fart.
Why do mice have small balls?
Not that many know how to dance.
What sound does a Horny Toad make?
RUB IT, RUB IT..
What do you call a dog with metal balls and no hind legs? Sparky.
Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?
Every time she gets to 69 she gets a frog in her throat.
Why do hens lay eggs?
If they dropped them, they'd break.
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Tree Chips
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A guy looking for a job finds that a certain mill is hiring
lumberjacks. So he goes out to the mill and talks to the foreman
who tells him all about the job, pay and housing for all the
lumberjacks.
Everything looks perfect and the guy is ready to go to work at once.
But when he was walking around he noticed that there weren't any
women around. So he pulls the foreman aside and asks him what
everyone does for sex. The foreman laughs and brings him over to
this bog tree that has a hole in it. "This is the fucking tree,"
says the foreman, "whenever you get horny, come over and put your
dick in the hole and fuck away. Trust me, it does the trick every
time."
The man thinks it's kind of odd, but takes the job anyway. The days
go by and soon the man gets horny. He thinks about taking it out on
the tree, but it still seems weird to him, so he goes to his room
and jacks off.
A week passes and the guy gets hornier and hornier and jacking off
isn't enough for him. So finally he figures, 'what the hell,' and
sneaks over to the fucking tree in the middle of the night, whips
out his dick and puts it in the hole. to his surprise, it feels
great.
Soon enough he starts to fuck the shit out of it. After a great
session he goes back to bed with a big smile.
the next day after a hard day of work, he makes another visit to the
tree and it's even better this time. Again he pounds away at the
tree. He can't believe how amazing the tree is and wonders what
kind of magic tree they have. Things just couldn't get better for
him.
The following day, he runs to the tree after work, hurriedly takes
out his dick and puts it into the sweet warm fucking tree. The tree
gets better and better everyday. He goes at it again and afterwards
he can hardly walk.
The next day all he can think about is going back to the fucking
tree. Every tree that he cuts down is one less tree in his way of
the fucking tree. Finally the day is done and he takes off for the
fucking tree. He pulls out his dick, grabs hold of his dick and
shoves it in. Nothing.
The man is shocked. He tries again, but still nothing. Feeling
very frustrated, the man storms off to the foreman. "What's wrong
with the fucking tree?" the guy asks. "I've been there three times
already and it's been better each time, but today, I ran up to it,
stuck my dick in and nothing happened. What the hell happened?"
The foreman thought for a second and then said, "oh yeah, didn't
they tell you? Today's your day in the tree."
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Nothing Chips
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A family went to the zoo one day. As they stopped
at the Elephant display, the father left to use the
bathrooms. While he was gone, the little girl asks
the mother, "Mamma, what's that thing hanging
from the elephant?"
Mother replies, " That's his trunk."
"No, mamma, that other thing"
The mother says, "Oh, that's his tail."
"NOOO, mamma, that OTHER thing!"
The mother notices the child is pointing
at the elephant's penis. She replies to her,
"Oh, that's nothing"
Later on, the family comes back by the
elephant display and the mother goes to
the bathrooms at this time. The little girl saw
and opportunity and ask her father, "Papa,
what's that thing hanging from the elephant?"
He explains, "That's his trunk."
"No, Papa, that other thing."
He said, "Oh that's his tail."
By this time the little girl is quite frustrated
and replies, NOOOO Papa, that OTHER thing!"
He notices she is pointing to his penis and replies,
"Oh that's his penis."
The child said, "But Papa, Momma said that's nothing."
The father looks at his daughter with a smile and replies, "That's
cause
your Mamma's spoiled."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva w/Echos of the Past
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Misc_files/Pia.html
Granny The Yard Sale Queen Via Samantha
http://revducketts.webbywarehouse.com/Poetry/granny_the_yard_sale_queen.html
carolyn w/ ~Since I Don't Have You~ The Skyliners
http://carolynspreciousmemories.com/50s/donthaveyou.html
The Sacred Secret
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/secret.html
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Fashion Police
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Above Top Secret
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Truth About Work
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Baby Thoughts
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Hello,
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Online Backups
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Easy Screencast Recording & Sharing Via Wesley
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Twittastic Free Download Via Wesley
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
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Zoo Animals!
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Kitty Korner
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Little Brother
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He Is Alive
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Incident Action
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Italian Police Motorcycle Drill Team
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PD Budget
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Balls Chips
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Joe was very depressed, and he explained to his friend
that "I just can't get over having three balls."
"Three Balls?!?!?!? Pal, we can make a FORTUNE
together!!!"
"How?" Joe asked, as a smile returned to his face.
"We'll go to a bar and bet everyone that between you
and the bartender, you have five balls. We can't lose!"
"Let's do it!" Joe said.
So they went to the nearest bar and ordered a few
beers. They quickly got friendly with the crowd. Then
they offered to bet $50 with each person that between
Joe and the bartender, they had five balls."
Nearly everyone rushed over to take the bet.
But the bartender was shaking his head.
"You don't mind being part of this bet, do you?" Joe
asked.
"Not at all," said the bartender. "I'm very impressed!
Up until now, I've never met anyone with four balls.
I've only got one!"
Randy
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Toon Chips
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Limerick Chips
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There once was an odious brute
Who made love in his Sunday-best suit.
The result, as you'd guess,
Was a wet, sticky mess,
And a very chaifed maiden to boot.
There was a young stud from Missouri
Who fucked with astonishing fury--
'Til taken to court
For his vigorous sport,
And condemned by a poorly-hung jury.
We have done it many ways
From the bed to a roll in the hay
But none have been sweeter
Than her sucking my peter
In the back of a new Chevrolet.
<Snagged by>
Ross
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Parting Chips
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 2047
Computer Class With Sandi
Sandi: Okay Class any questions?
Val: What is a firewall?
Sandi: Good question. Well if you have a firewall,
then you have a fire and it is time to leave and call
the fire department. Next question?
Rudy: What is a virus?
Sandi: If you catch a virus you need to see the vet.
Katie: What are patches?
Sandi: There are several kind of patches. Patches is
the name of the dog that lives down the street and there
are patches we cause when we bite the mailman's trousers
and he has to patch them up.
Val: You sure are smart Sandi. What are worms?
Sandi: We use them to fish with.
Rudy: Digital data?
Sandi: When we use the invention dad made us, our thumbs and
fingers, they are our digits.
To be continued
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Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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