Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Eva has been working on becoming the next Houdini lately. She
has discovered how to unlock doors and has decided to make a
game out of it to drive us nuts. Last week we thought she was in
playing in her room but when Buffy checked on her she was nowhere
to be found and the back door was open. So we started looking outside
and I hopped in the Jimmy to drive around the block but only got a
few houses down when a neighbor yelled that they had found her.
She had went in the back door to the apartment in the building next
door, helped herself to a box of juice out of the refrigerator and sat
down and was having a chat with the lady who lives there. The woman
thought that it was really cute ( Thank God this is a small town and a
quiet
neighborhood.) Next day I heard the back door open and by the time
I got there she was already on the back porch next door talking
to the lady and I brought her back. Since she can handle chain
locks too Sandy came up with a plan of putting a vacuum cleaner,
carpet shampooer and a clothes hamper that feels like it has the
Encyclopedia Britannica in it, figuring that since they all weigh as
much as Eva does, that would stop her. I was sitting at my work
station which is a direct line of sight to the back door and looked
up and the door was open, but I managed to catch her on the back
porch. I hate the thought of putting double dead bolts on everything
the way we lose keys around here we would probably end up locked
inside with Eva outside.
Eva's latest trick, She has locked Sandy in the hallway three times
and Sandy isn't very happy heh heh. Buffy is calling her an evil
munchkin,
Eva not Sandy.
Enjoy the chips..... buffalo
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*The Hotel Bill*
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Edinburgh , Glasgow , and Aberdeen performing here," the Manager said.*
*"But I didn't go to any of those shows," she said. "Well, we have them,
and
you could have," the Manager replied.*
*No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, she replied, "But I
didn't
use it!"*
*The Manager was unmoved, so she decided to pay, wrote a check and gave
it
to the Manager.
The Manager was surprised when he looked at the check. "But madam, this
check is only made out for** $50.00." "That's correct. I charged you
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for sleeping with me," she replied.*
*"But I didn't!" exclaims the very surprised Manager..*
*"Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."*
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Girl: "I know you really look like Napoleon Bonaparte."
Boy: "Great, isn't it?"
Girl: "Yes, but you differ in one aspect from him."
Boy: "And that is?"
Girl: "You have to put your hand in your own blouse."
~~~~~
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~~~~~~~
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100 Chips
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A guy and his manager go down to the docks. The manager is betting
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without pausing: 1.. 2.. 3.. on and on he goes:
49.. 50.. 51.. He slows down somewhat: 83.... 84.... 85....
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50 Cents Chips
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On a trip to the USA, a wealthy Arab fell in love with Susan. He
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Immediately, the Arab bought several grand homes across the USA,
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Six weeks later, in tears, she phoned her father and asked him to
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"Whatever for?" asked her father.
"I've married a pervert," she cried.
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"I don't want to talk about it," she said. "Just come and take me
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So her father drove to her New England home. Arriving there, richly
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He climbed the solid marble steps to huge doors, at least twelve
feet tall, and there he met his daughter, waiting for him with her
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"Oh, father," she cried. "Take me away from here at once. I cannot
bear to stay a moment longer."
Her father could not believe that she should want to leave such
splendor.
"What's wrong, dear?" he asked.
"The man is a pervert!" she exclaimed.
He asked his daughter to explain this perversion that was upsetting
her so.
"When I married him," she sobbed, my ass-hole was as tight as a
penny piece, and now, it's as big as a half dollar."
"Nay," said her father. "Surely you're not go to leave all this for
the sake of forty-nine cents!"
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man goes to a whorehouse and asks the lady at the desk for a woman
with a fantastic tan with no tan lines. The lady at the desk says,
"That will be $500.00." So the man gives her the money and she tells
him to go up stairs and knock on the third door on left. A voice
tells him to come in. He does. She said, "Take your clothes off."
He said, "I paid $500, so I want you to take your clothes off and
lay on the bed and spread your legs for me." She does. He says
"Thank you," and starts to leave. She said, "Is that all you
wanted?" He said, "Yes my wife is painting the house brown with pink
shutters and I wanted to see what it would look like."
Three cellmates in a Cuban jail compared notes. "I was jailed for
coming to work late," mourned the first. "They said I was trying to
upset the productivity quota." "Me, I came to work early." said the
second. "They said this proved I was a capitalist spy." "And I am
here for always getting to work on time," added the third. "They
said that proved I had an American watch."
I carried my date, slung over my shoulder, into my parent's house.
She was passed out. "Liquor?" asked my dad.
"Nope, but banged her four times." I replied.
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Toon Chips
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Limerick Chips
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There was a young gypsy girl Rose
With obsessions for gentlemens' hose.
Up her pussy, her rear,
In her mouth and each ear
And her cute little freckle-tipped nose.
I know that you'll think me quite dotty,
But please, no caffeine in the latte!
One simple espresso -
I put on a dress, oh,
And really start acting quite naughty!
Were you a more elegant chap,
I'd ask to sit down on your lap
Cross-legg'd, like a swami
For 'hide the salami',
But it seems that you're ill with the clap!
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Parting Chips
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The Catholic priest in a small town had become very perturbed, and
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"Brothers, sisters," he said solemnly, "it has come to my attention
that there are tales to the effect that immorality is rampant in our
fair town. To be specific, it is being said that there is not one
virgin left here. This vile lie must and shall be refuted. In
order to do so, I ask every virgin in the congregation to rise."
Not a woman stirred.
The priest said, "I understand the modesty that would make a young
lady hesitate to announce her condition publicly, but it is
necessary to do so. Young women, I conjure those to rise who are
truly virgins."
And still not a woman stirred.
Wrath now moved the priest. "Will you, for the fear of experiencing
a small shame, incur a great one? This is an order from the
Almighty: Let all virgins stand!"
And as his thunderous tones died away, a young lady, far in the
rear, with a baby in her arms, rose bashfully.
The preacher stared with astonishment at the baby, then said, "Young
woman, I'm asking the virgins to stand."
And the young lady answered indignantly, "Well, father, do you
expect this six-month-old girl to stand by herself...?"
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 2057
Diana Pt 2
Rudy: So how did she get to this Ida ho?
BJ: She flew.
Val: Aw that is a bunch of garbage. Everyone
knows bi-peds cannot fly. You bi-peds run slow,
and to imagine you can fly....absurd.
Rudy: That's telling him Val.
BJ: Good grief Rudy. I mean flying as in an airplane.
Have I ever lied to you before?
Rudy: There is always a first time.
Val: Yeah and we are talking about mom here.
Rudy: Toots.
Sandi: You two need to relax and trust daddy.
Katie: Yes, father is always right.
The four dogs get nose to nose...
Rudy: Pops, you said Toots would be home today
and where is she?
BJ: Later today...good grief.
To be continued
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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