A weirdly personal email to a stranger

Surprise me View in browser June 21, 2019 A fern! Because I've paid only spore-adic attention to the internet this week. (Wow, apparently the puns just keep coming.)    This week Sometimes—less often these days than in the past—I get emails from younger people who are feeling some despair about their lives or careers. I don't usually respond promptly, but I do almost always reply. (Some of those responses, with personal details redacted, are available on my website.) And that's because once, many years ago, I sent a semi-desperate email to a writer I'd long admired but never met, someone who I thought might understand me. And she wrote a very kind response, one that I still get emotional thinking about. That writer was Jessica Hopper, and she's our guest on the podcast this week. We talked about her claiming space on bookstore shelves (her anthology is called The First Collection of Criticism by a Living Female Rock Critic), the power of collective feminist memory, this season of Lost Notes, and, yes, that one time I wrote her a weirdly personal email. I'm reading Ta-Nehisi Coates's testimony on reparations. Svetlana Alexievich's oral histories of children who survived World War II. 21 Democratic candidates all answer the same set of questions. Who profits when pain becomes art? (I think the operative question is, "Whose pain?") "On the one hand, community. On the other hand, you eat what you kill." Redefining infertility. When you know you don't want kids and you're a disabled black woman. One experience of menopause as an "ungendering." A personal history of abortions. Ask Polly on differences of expectation and perception in friendship. "I liken the natural hair movement of the 2000s to a religious revival." The invention of the beach read. Members only Become a paying member for just $5/year. [This is a secure site that takes all major credit cards but, unfortunately, not PayPal. For now.] I'd love your support. What are you missing? Click here to see what these pie charts are all about. I'm looking & listening How Chinese Jamaican music producers influenced reggae music. Some truly incredible knots by Windy Chien! (Thank you, George.) Marsai Martin is Hollywood's youngest producer. GIFspiration Artist and journalist Mona Chalabi has been very open about the process behind her recent exhibition at Zari Gallery in London. From honing in on the idea (examining the white-maleness of museum collections), to the cost of all the materials, to the physical toll it took, I love her transparency about the exhibition—and the work itself! You can buy Mona's art here. You've got answers These are our favorite solo-travel destinations. Some of them are specific places on a map: Laos! Folks were so friendly. NYC (see shows, shop, eat good things, not have to see anyone I know unless I absolutely want to) If you go to the Philippines alone you're guaranteed to be adopted by locals! Iceland - a great place to be incredibly alone Joshua Tree. I know, I know. I'll show myself out. But it's truly magical. the korean spa A beautiful, quiet little beach town called Tofo on the coast of Mozambique Paris (Is that cliche? I don't care.) Chicago, on bike. Isla Mujeres. Leave me alone, I’m communing with the beach. Copenhagen, Denmark. Danes naturally keep to themselves so it's nice to embrace the solo culture in a beautiful place. Insight Meditation Society, Barre MA Kobe, Japan. And spend most of the time at the Takenaka carpentry museum. Istanbul. Sights, sounds, and smells coming at you with incredible intensity and no one else to dilute it. Oaxaca. All the patio seating for good people watching, lots to walk to, plenty of day trip opportunities. Petra, Jordan the coffee plantations in Coorg in south India. they're my most peaceful place. Any of the San Juan Islands (off the coast of Washington State). Dreamy, laid back, beautiful and just enough civilization to go wine tasting. One room cabin in rural Minnesota, run by radical nuns. No WiFi, no problem. Iguazu Falls in Argentina. Standing in the middle of a jungle of giant waterfalls alone was transformative! ... and others are activities or feelings or criteria that could apply to many places: Road trip, anywhere. Driving alone is the closest I come to meditation. The woods. Any woods. Not seeing anyone and peeing outside is good for you. Anywhere I can feel safe as a woman. I love wandering around (even at night), eating out, and there aren't a ton of places to do that safely. I love going to the movie theater by myself. Any amusement park. I can ride or eat what I want when I want without having to negotiate with anyone else. For an introvert who loves roller coasters, it’s a dream. Love a long, unhurried trip to a bougie grocery store, my oasis. To the bar of a restaurant with a decent appetizer selection at 4pm on a non-Friday weekday, with a book. My bed. (I'm reminded of this lyric from Neko Case: "I leave the party at three a.m. Alone, thank God.") Deep inside my own mind. [Ed note: Thank you.] Here's the complete list if you, like me, are looking for some travel inspiration. Next week's question is for all you history nerds: What's a historical event that you have become obsessed with?   >> Click here to submit an answer. << IRL Los Angeles: There's a fundraiser happening on Saturday (tomorrow!) for the National Network of Abortion Funds. One hundred L.A.-based artists have each donated an artwork (one of which is a pie chart by yours truly). A donation of $50 allows you to select a work on a first come, first serve basis! You can make donations when you arrive or show up with a receipt of your donation to NNAF. Artworks may be collected at the close of the event. There's also a raffle. It's happening tomorrow from 6pm-11pm at 502 W. Ave 46 Los Angeles CA 90065. The Classifieds Feeling stuck? Get a free, weekly newsletter on how to have a happier, more meaningful life. Fancy feminists: escape Christmas stress! Join Femily (@FemilyontheGo) Dec 23-27 at the *Rebel Bossbabe* retreat in sunny Cabo, Mex at an eco-luxe mansion with a pool & fire pit! Unwind with other kind & powerful womxn & queers & reflect & plan your best 2020. Apply by July 10. Delicious, premium hemp CBD gummies that are seriously delicious? Yes, please! Work hard and vacation harder with Holiday. GET $10 OFF: AF10 These classifieds are a win-win: Supporting me and you. Click for ad rates + info. Testimonials "Thank you for this beautiful writing, Ann. You're an amazing writer, managing to tell a story (or two) in so few lines." -Carly. I'm taking these kind words to heart. "Feeling *seen* by @annfriedman in her subject line this week" -Jenn Abel Kovitz. So many frayed knots among this newsletter's readership! This newsletter is statistically likely to have been sent to you by a stranger. Forward it to a friend. AF WEEKLY Subscribe Share on Twitter Share on Facebook Manage paid membership MORE ANN Email me About me Writing archive Public speaking Rent my brain Manage Preferences | Unsubscribe | Ladyswagger, Inc. PO Box 26932 | Los Angeles, CA 90026 © 2019