welcome to:
THE POSTMAN FAN'S CORNER
HELLO POSTMAN FANS!!!!!!
During her annual checkup, a well-built lady was asked to disrobe
and climb onto the examining table.
"Doctor," she replied shyly, "I just can't undress in front of you."
"That's all right," said the physician, "I'll flick off the lights.
You get undressed and tell me when you're through."
In a few moments, her voice rang out in the darkness, "Doctor, I've undressed.
What should I do with my clothes?"
"Your clothes?" answered the doctor.
"Put them over here, on top of mine!
A man came home from watching a rugby match between Ireland and France.
His young son welcomed him home saying, "How was it, Dad?"
"It was terribly violent, son. In the break, the Irish skipper
came off the field with a bruised testicle!"
"Oh, he must have been in such pain!"
"No, no, laddie. It belonged to one of the Frenchmen."
"Oh, he must have been in such pain!"
"No, no, laddie. It belonged to one of the Frenchmen."
A husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed.
The passion is heating up. But then the wife stops
and says, "I don't feel like it. I just want you to hold me.."
The husband says, "WHAT??"
The wife explains that he must not be in tune with
and says, "I don't feel like it. I just want you to hold me.."
The husband says, "WHAT??"
The wife explains that he must not be in tune with
her emotional needs as a woman. The husband
realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and
realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and
he might as well deal with it. So the next day, the
husband takes her shopping at a big department store.
husband takes her shopping at a big department store.
He walks around and has her try on three very
expensive outfits. And then tells his wife, "We'll take
expensive outfits. And then tells his wife, "We'll take
all three of them." Then he goes over and gets
matching shoes worth $200 each. And then he goes to
matching shoes worth $200 each. And then he goes to
the jewelry department and gets a set of
diamond earrings.
The wife is so excited, she thinks her husband has
diamond earrings.
The wife is so excited, she thinks her husband has
flipped out, but she does not care. She is
jumping up and down, so excited she cannot even believe what is going on.
She says, "I am ready to go. Let's go pay."
The husband says, "No, no, no, honey, we're not going
jumping up and down, so excited she cannot even believe what is going on.
She says, "I am ready to go. Let's go pay."
The husband says, "No, no, no, honey, we're not going
to buy all this stuff."
The wife's face goes blank.
"No, honey, I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while."
Her face gets really red and she is about to explode
The wife's face goes blank.
"No, honey, I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while."
Her face gets really red and she is about to explode
and then the husband says, "You must not be in
tune with my financial needs as a man!!!"
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the
family ranch.Unfortunately, after just a few years,
they are in financial trouble and are down to their last
$600. In order to keep the bank from repossessing
the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they
the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they
can breed their own stock. Upon leaving, the brunette
tells her sister, "When I get there,if I decide to buy
the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and
haul it home." The brunette arrives at the man's ranch,
haul it home." The brunette arrives at the man's ranch,
inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it.
The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less.
After paying him, she drives to the nearest
town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.
town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.
She walks into the telegraph office, and says,
"I want to send a telegram to my sister
telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch.
telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch.
I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck
and drive out here so we can haul it
home." The telegraph operator explains that
home." The telegraph operator explains that
he'll be glad to help her,then adds, "It's just 99
cents a word." Well, after paying for the bull,
the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that
the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that
she'll only be able to send her sister one word.
After thinking for a few minutes, she nods,
and says, "I want you to send her the word "comfortable."
and says, "I want you to send her the word "comfortable."
The telegraph operator shakes his head.
"How is she ever going to know that you want
her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and
her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and
drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch
if you send her the word, 'comfortable?'"
The brunette explains,
The brunette explains,
"My sister is blonde. The word is big. She'll
read it slow.
("com-for-da-bul")
read it slow.
("com-for-da-bul")
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Posted by: "Martin a.k.a. the postman" <martin7957@yahoo.com>
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