welcome to:
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
claim your 100$ CVS gift card
over 237.000$ in gift cards given out to date
HELLO POSTMAN FANS!
So, we are right in the middle of replacing the carpet
for the living rm., dining, hallway, and stairs. We have the
Laurel and Hardy team of the year for carpet installers.
To start with, they showed up about an hour late,
not getting here till after 10am. Then, around 1130am,
these jokers decide to go to get some early lunch. Then they
succeeded in locking the keys in their van at Burger King.
Now its a little after 1 in the afternoon and way behind schedule.
They finish the tear off, and then "we are gonna take all this
old carpet to the shop and get the new stuff. Back in just a few."
About 2 or 3 hrs later. "Well, we go to unload the old carpet, and
the trash bin at the store, it was full. We had to wait for the garbage
ppl to come and dump it." So it was close to 5pm before they had started
to nail down any carpet. However, to their credit, these guys worked
till almost 11 pm. and they are, in fact, doing super work. so I shall cut
em a little slack. The house is in a shambles right now, and the only
sanity is my own little office, where I spent most of the day with
my computer and a good book. (TV don't work right now, cuz the
cable box in the living room is unplugged.)The fellers will
return mid afternoon tomorrow (Friday) to finish things up.
It will be nice having new carpet down.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
___________________
THE FUNNY PAPERS
being delivered
a rough divorce
no wonder
a beggar
give my leg back
healthy choices
you look beautiful
see what happens
given up
Everyone loves Amazon… and everyone loves
this Amazon survey reward.
a magic feather
not here
the bluebird of happiness
supermodels
a wish
stung
____________
JOKES
the Italian funeral
the bike tour
Large increases in cost with questionable increases
where do you want to go to
A defendant was on trial for murder
why don't you wait
A blond went into a pet shop
cows and tornado
the rules
good day sir. do you carry aspirin
Mary Poppins
q and a
thoughtful husbands
Harry was delighted when he found a young woman who
accepted his proposal of marriage as he was sensitive
about his artificial leg and a bit afraid no one would have him.
In fact, he couldn't bring himself to tell his fiancée'
about his leg when he slipped the ring on her finger, nor when
she bought the dress, nor when they picked the time and place.
All he kept saying was, "Darling, I've got a big surprise for you,"
at which she blushed and smiled bewitchingly.
The wedding night came and went and the young couple were
at last alone in their hotel room.
"Now don't forget, Harry, you promised me a big surprise,"
said the bride. Unable to say a word, Harry turned out the lights,
unstrapped his artificial leg, slipped into bed,
and placed his wife's hand on the stump.
"Hmmmmmm," she said softly, "That IS a surprise. Just pass
me the Vaseline and I'll see what I can do!"
A white guy is walking along a beach when he comes across a
lamp partially buried in the sand.
He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub.
Two blonde genies appear, and they tell him he has been
granted three wishes. The guy makes his three wishes and the
blonde genies disappear.The next thing the guy knows, he's in a
bedroom, in a mansion, surrounded by 50 beautiful women..
He makes love to all of them and begins to explore the house.
Suddenly he feels something soft under his feet. He looks down
and notices the floor is covered in $100 bills.
Next, there's a knock at the door, so he answers it!
?Standing there are two persons dressed in Ku Klux Klan
outfits. They drag him outside to the nearest tree,
throw a rope over a sturdy limb, and hang him by the neck
until he's dead..As the Klansmen are walking away, they remove
their hoods. It's the two blonde genies!
One blonde genie says to the other, "I can understand the first
wish--having all those beautiful women
in a big mansion to make love to. I can also understand him
wanting to be a millionaire.
But, why he wanted to be hung like a black man is beyond me."
Do you know about the teenager who came down from her
2nd floor room to meet her date, wearing a see-through blouse.
Grandmother was sitting in the living room and berated
the girl that it was indecent to go out like that.
The girl replied that Grandma should "get with it. Nowadays
girls like to show off their 'rosebuds'", and went off on her date.
The next night, same scenario, but this time grandma was
sitting in the living room with nothing on from the waste up.
The teenager, yelled, "Oh, Grandma, you can't sit there
like that! My date is coming!"
To which Grandma replied, "Get with it, Honey..
If you girls can show off your 'rosebuds',
I can show off my 'hanging baskets'"
A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase.
"Where are you going?", he asks.
She answers, "I'm moving to Chicago. I heard prostitutes there get paid $400
for doing what I do for you for free." Later that night, on
her way out, the wife walks into the bedroom and
sees her husband packing his suitcase.
"And where are YOU going?". she asks.
He replies, "I decided to come along... I want to see how you live on
$800 a year."
A man woke up the one morning feeling horny, and asked his
girlfriend for a shag, but she said she wasn't in the mood.
So he got up, got dressed, and went downstairs and cooked breakfast
for them both. He ate his, and then took hers up to the bedroom so
she could have breakfast in bed. He was still feeling horny, and so,
after she'd finished her breakfast, he asked again for a shag.
She said she was still not in the mood.
So he decided to go out to the newsagent and buy that day's
newspaper. When he got back he found her still in bed, but
with her arms and legs tied up to the bedpost. So, thinking
that she'd changed her mind, and fancied some bondage fun,
he got undressed again, and proceeded to climb into bed for
some action. ?She asked him what did he think he was doing,
and he told her that as she was tied up, he thought she'd changed her mind.
She said "You daft bastard! - While you were out We were robbed!"
_______________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Texas house falling off cliff
Natural phenomena compilation
Clip of the Year 2016
Seth Meyers Monologue
Faith In Humanity Restored 2015
I Bought An Abandoned Storage Locker! ... Look What I Found!
Busting a Beaver Dam and Draining the Pond
Breathtaking Colors of Nature
Help Me Make It Through the Night – Ray Stevens
__________________
A LITTLE BIT OF HUMOR
women are foolish
before getting serious with a girl
turn me over
funny
if you feel alone
just waiting
now that I'm older
thank you for your order
what did you really do
rest your mind
__._,_.___
Posted by: "Martin a.k.a. the postman" <martin7957@yahoo.com>
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