GREAT THINGS NEVER COME FROM COMFORT ZONES
welcome to:
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
HELLO POSTMAN FANS!
So, are you getting tired of the political ads on tv?
Midterms are just days away for most states. I
must confess, I am a bit ignorant as a voter. Who is
running for what? Not sure if I know. Not sure if
I care:( Kindof a sad thing to say if I am to be
a resident in the land of the free and the home of
the brave. About the only thing I am really sure of?
My state is entertaining a proposition of freedom
for the use of Cannabis. So pretty soon, its likely
that Michigan will join Colorado in lighting up.
And our insurance companies will have
yet another reason to hike our already expensive car
insurance premiums. I don't care if you light up. Makes
me no difference. I don't think you need to go to jail
for it. But I don't want to pay more for to the insurance
thieves for it, either.
During the George Bush campaign. I got a survey call.
Apparently I had brain gas that day: I usually don't answer
surveys, but this time I did....I proudly identified
myself as an independent conservative. That was a few
weeks before the voting day. During that time, we were
inundated with robo calls. Everything from governor,
to drain commissioner, to the county dog catcher.
Never will I do that again!
This time, we have not received a single robo call.
Won't answer any political surveys either. Ever again!!!!
Learned my lesson on that one
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_______________
THE FUNNY PAPERS
a fart
oil dipsticks
let me get this straight
bored
budget cuts
bucket list
have a nice day
jaws
at the park
tomato sauce
bring it home
redneck boating
where are you
trespassers
tasty
_______________________
JOKES
his annual checkup
are these plates clean
you can't get married
A couple lived near the ocean
on the cover of a woman's magazine
growing up as a kid
A guy traveling through the prairies
city workers
An independent woman started her own business
statistics
One man was from Texas, one from Florida, and one from Kansas
the ice maker in our new refrigerator broke
nobody's fool
waiting for the bus
it costs us two thousand dollars to make even a one-eighty
A very confident James Bond walks into a bar and takes a seat next to
a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually
looks at his watch for a moment. The women notices this and asks,
''Is your date running late?'' ''No,'' he replies, ''Q has just given me
this state-of-the-art watch. I was just testing it.'' The intrigued woman
says, ''A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?'' Bond
explains, '' It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.'' The lady
says, ''What's it telling you now?'' ''Well, it says you're not wearing
any panties....'' The woman giggles and replies, ''Well it must be broken
because I am wearing panties.'' Bond smirks, taps his watch and says,
''Bloody thing's an hour fast.''
A Doctor used to visit the same bar every day and order the same drink
day in/day out. "Fix me an almond Daquiri, Dick!" the fellow asked.
"Coming right up!". This was the way it went for years on end. Finally
one day, the bartender realized there were no more almonds anywhere
in his inventory, and his customer was waiting anxiously at the bar for
his favorite beverage. In a hurry, he figured that he could use a hickory nut,
crush it up, the man would never know the difference. Well, the doctor
took a sip of the drink and said 'Is this an almond Daquiri, Dick?'.
'Well, no, it's a hickory Daquiri, Doc.'
A woman went to the doctor asking for bigger breasts.
The doctor gave her the choice of either having an implant or wearing
a special bra that inflates when you flap your arms up and down.
The woman chose the bra.
The next day she went to a bar to try out her new bra. She saw an attractive
man sitting alone at the bar. Flapping her arms, she strolled over to flirt with
the man, who had started flapping his legs.
"I see we have the same doctor," he said.
Bubba called his attorney and asked, "I hear they are suing the
cigarette companies for causing people to get cancer, and now someone is
suing the fast food goliaths for making them fat.......... so what I
want to know is............. Can I sue Budweiser for all the ugly women
I have slept with?"
____________________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Little Johnny Jokes - Little Johnny Sees Mommy Being Naughty
Children Who KILL
bratty kid goes face to face with a veteran
Fred Flintstone Golfs
4k Hawaii Drone Footage
Once a man tried to help a butterfly coming out from a cocoon
The Untold Truth Of The Dog Whisperer
5 Stupid Questions Women ask Men
Head on train collision
Shoplifters Caught Stealing and Arrested
Cousin Sal's Home Deliveries - Carpet Cleaners
____________________
A LITTLE BIT OF HUMOR
ring my doorbell
its gone
a very short story
parking like a...
a rich woman
when you have a dog
never give up
fast food napkins
riddle
the gym
if dogs could talk
I'm gonna move out
ready
my hobbies
__._,_.___
Posted by: "Martin a.k.a. the postman" <martin7957@yahoo.com>
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