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THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
I AM SO GOOD AT SLEEPING I CAN DO IT WITH MY EYES CLOSED!
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HELLO POSTMAN FANS!
It looks to be a miserable day out there. Dreary
grey and wet. Temps hovering around 45 to 50...
Don't make it to encouraging to do much of anything.
Oh , I forgot. What do I gotta do today anyways,
right? Who cares. Just gonna sit here and drink coffee
and read my postman jokes. Why ancha join me?
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_________________
THE FUNNY PAPERS
this planet
ppl say
here is your problem
milk
born without eyelids
bored
my resistance
drying what?
I was on a sofa
when she sees a atm machine
expectations
know your limits
botox
a support group on halloween
what is your wish
______________________
JOKES
At the Sistine Chapel in the Vatican
which doctors do not drive Beemers
I'm fat
a church potluck
the wolf man
in Las Begas
you're the boss
the letter
a new fifty-cent piece
what could be wrong
it was just rotten luck
a particularly obnoxious male guest
the church was left without a bell ringer
___________________
______________________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Christmas Food Court Flash Mob, Hallelujah Chorus
A homeless man walks into a church What he did next shocked everyone
Watch These Animals Being Freed for the Very First Time!
10 Interesting Psychological Facts
Man Pours Maple Syrup On Police
these bucks are too tame
Birds instigated circuit
Balloon mime
__________________
A LITTLE BIT OF HUMOR
a recent study
your bill
best kids menu
when I was a child
help your friends diet
a black baby
fetch
the best thing about dogs
went for a walk
disaster relief
notice
While walking through Golden Gate Park in San Francisco,
a man came upon another man hugging a tree with his ear firmly against the tree.
Seeing this he inquired, "Just out of curiosity, what the heck are you doing?"
"I'm listening to the music of the tree," the other man replied.
"You've gotta be kiddin' me."
"No, would you like to give it a try?"
Understandably curious, the man says, "Well, OK..."
So he wrapped his arms around the tree and pressed his ear up against it.
With this, the other guy slapped a pair of handcuffs on him, took his wallet, jewelry,
car keys, then stripped him naked and left.
Two hours later another nature lover strolled by, saw this guy handcuffed to the tree
stark naked, and asked, "What the heck happened to you?"
He told the guy the whole terrible story about how he got there.
When he finished telling his story, the other guy shook his head in sympathy,
walked around behind him, kissed him gently behind the ear and said,
"This just ain't gonna be your day, cupcake..."
___________________
It was the coldest winter ever. Many animals died because of
the cold. The porcupines, realizing the situation, decided to
group together to keep warm. This way they covered and protected
themselves; but the quills of each one wounded their closest companions.
After a while, they decided to distance themselves one from the
other and they began to die, alone and frozen.
So they had to make a choice: either accept the quills of their
companions or disappear from the Earth.
Wisely, they decided to go back to being together. They learned
to live with the little wounds caused by the
close relationship with their companions in order to receive the
heat that came from the others.
This way they were able to survive.
The best relationship is not the one that brings together perfect
people, but one in which each individual learns
to live with the imperfections of others and can admire the
other person's good qualities.
The moral of the story is:
Just learn to live with the Pricks in your life!
_________________
Woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those
headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're all gone."
"No more headaches?" the hubby asks, "What happened?"
His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a psychologist.
He told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare and keep repeating
-I do not have a headache,I do not have a headache,I do not
have a headache. It worked!The headaches are all gone!!!"
"Well, that's wonderful," replies the husband.
His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been
exactly good in bed these last few years.
Why don't you go see the psychologist and find out if he
can do anything for you?" The husband agrees.
Following his appointment, the husband comes home,
removes his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her to the bedroom.
He puts her on the bed and says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."
He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later
and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before.
His wife says, "Boy, that was wonderful!"
The husband says, "Don't move! I will be right back." He goes
back into the bathroom, comes back and round twowas even better than the first time.
The wife sits up and her head is spinning.
Her husband again says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."
He goes back to the bathroom.
This time, his wife follows him quietly, and there, in the bathroom,
she sees him standing in front of the mirror and saying,
"She's not my wife..
She's not my wife...She's not my wife!"
Next Sunday is his funeral
__._,_.___
Posted by: "Martin a.k.a. the postman" <martin7957@yahoo.com>
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