Plants gone potty!: [PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

At dawn the telephone rings, "Hello, Senor Rod?
This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house."
"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"
"Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot, he is dead".
"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"
"Si, Senor, that's the one."
"Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?"
"From eating the rotten meat, Senor Rod."
"Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?"
"Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse."
"Dead horse? What dead horse?"
"The thoroughbred, Senor Rod."
"My prize thoroughbred is dead?"
"Yes, Senor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart."
"Are you insane? What water cart?"
"The one we used to put out the fire, Senor."
"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"
"The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire."
"What the hell? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?!"
"Yes, Senor Rod."
"But there's electricity at the house! What was the candle for?"
"For the funeral, Senor Rod."
"WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL??!!"
"Your wife's, Senor Rod". She showed up very late one night
and I thought she was a thief, so I shot her with your new Kreighoff
Limited Edition Custom Gold Engraved Trap Special
with the custom Wangi Exhibition Grade Stock.
SILENCE.................. LONG SILENCE..............VERY LONG SILENCE.
"Ernesto, if you scratched that shotgun, you're in deep shit."
______________

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn.
She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her
question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls
your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
___________

Q: How do you get a woman off during sex?
A: Push her.
_____________

During the French revolution, hundreds of people were guillotined. One day,
three men were led up to die. One was a lawyer, one was a doctor, and the
third was an engineer.
The lawyer was to die first. He was led to the guillotine, the attending
priest blessed him, and he knelt with his head on the guillotine. The blade
was released, but stopped halfway down its path. The priest, seeing an
opportunity, quickly said, "Gentlemen, God has spoken and said this man is
to be spared; we cannot kill him." The executioner agreed, and the lawyer
was set free.
The doctor was next. He was blessed by the priest, then knelt and placed his
head down. The blade was released, and again stopped halfway down. Again
the priest intervened: "Gentlemen, God has again spoken; we cannot kill
this man." The executioner agreed and the doctor was set free.
At last it was the engineer's turn. He was blessed by the priest, and knelt,
but before he placed his head on the guillotine he looked up. Suddenly, he
leapt to his feet and cried, "Oh, I see the problem!"
______________

FUN PAGES

Naughty Cactus Clowns
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Redneck Postmaster Application
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The Biggest Pussy
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Two Snowmobiles Crash
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That's all folks
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

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Plants gone potty!

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

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