Plants gone potty!: [PostmansCorner] THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

A beautiful fairy appeared one day
To a destitute Mexican refugee Outside an Arizona immigration Office.
"Good man," the fairy said, "I've Been sent here by President
Obama And told to grant you three Wishes, since you just arrived
in The United States with your wife
And eight children."
The man told the fairy, "Well, Where I come from we do not have
Good teeth, so I want new teeth, Maybe a lot of gold in them."
The fairy looked at the man's Almost toothless grin and -- PING !--
he had a brand new shining Set of gold teeth in his mouth!
"What else?" asked the fairy, "Two More to go."
The refugee claimant now got Bolder. "I need a big house with a three-car
garage in Annapolis on The water with eight bedrooms for My family and the rest of my
Relatives who still live in my Country.. I want to bring them All over
here" --- and -- PING !-- In the distance there could be Seen a beautiful
mansiom with a Three-car garage, a long driveway, And a walkout patio
with a BBQ in An upscale neighborhood
Overlooking the bay.
"One more wish," said the fairy, Waving her wand.
"Yes, one more wish. I want to be Like an American with American
Clothes instead of these torn Clothes, and a baseball cap Instead of
this sombrero. And I Want to have white skin like Americans" ---and ---
PING ! -- The Man was transformed - wearing
Worn-out jeans, a Baltimore Orioles T-shirt, and a baseball Cap.
He had his bad teeth And the mansion had disappeared From the horizon.
"What happened to my new teeth?" He wailed. "Where is my new House?"
The fairy said:
"Tough shit, Amigo, now that you Are a white American, you have to
Fend for yourself."
______________________

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided
to use a surrogate father to start their family.
On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed
his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now.
The man should be here soon.'
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby
photographer happened to ring the doorbell,
hoping to make a sale. 'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to...'
'Oh, no need to explain, 'Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.'
'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?'
'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat!.
After a moment she asked, blushing,
'Well, where do we start?'
'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub,
one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed.
And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.'
'Bathtub, living room floor? "
"No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!'
'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time.
But if we try several different positions and
I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.'
'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith.
'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes,
but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.'
'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures.
'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said.
'Oh, my God!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed,
grasping at her throat.
'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider
their mother was so difficult to work with.'
'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith.
'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right.
People were crowding around four and five deep
to get a good look'
'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith,
her eyes wide with amazement.
'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for
more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly
squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate,
and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels
began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.'
Mrs. Smith leaned forward.
'Do you mean they actually
chewed on your, uh...equipment?'
'It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can
get to work right away..''Tripod?'
'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on.
It's much too big to be held in the hand very long.'
Mrs.Smith fainted.
___________________

FUN PAGES

Big Dick's Inn
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43816&s=n

I Don't Do Mornings
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43563&s=n

Bondage Bears
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43753&s=n

Ugly Santa
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43912&s=n

New Lawyer Joke
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=43074&s=n

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

*To visit your group "PostmansCorner" on the web. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PostmansCorner or http://www.thepostmanscorner.net *To unsubscribe from this group, send a blank email to: PostmansCorner-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com *To subscribe to this group, send a blank email to: PostmansCorner-subscribe@yahoogroups.com *PLZ NOTE: DO NOT send unsubscribe requests to the listowner (Follow instructions)

Your email settings: Individual Email|Traditional
Change settings via the Web (Yahoo! ID required)
Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest | Switch to Fully Featured
Visit Your Group | Yahoo! Groups Terms of Use | Unsubscribe

__,_._,___

Plants gone potty!

[PostmansCorner] THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

No comments:

Re-Slim Dunlap

Report Abuse