Plants gone potty!: [PostmansCorner] THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

Two golden agers were discussing their husbands over lunch.
"I do wish that my John would stop biting his nails.
He makes me terribly nervous."
My Fred used to do the same thing," the other woman replied.
"But I broke him of the habit."
"Really, how?" asked the first woman.
"Easy, I hid his teeth."
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Q: What do you call the space between the vagina and the asshole?
A: A Chin Rest!

Q: Why do adults tell stupid jokes?
A: Because they are groan-ups
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A bishop visited a church in his diocese. Only three
people turned up to hear him preach.
He asked the pastor, "Did you give notice of my visit?"
"No," replied the pastor, "but word seems to have gotten round anyway."
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Little Johnny walked into the kitchen, saw his mother making a
cake and announced, "I'll be playing in my room for the next
two hours. I sure would like a piece of cake when you're finished."
Later, when his mother brought him a piece of cooled cake,
Little Johnny exclaimed, "Golly, it worked!"
Puzzled, his mother asked, "What do you mean?"
Little Johnny replied, "Daddy said that in order to get a piece
around here, you have to spend a couple of hours playing first!"
_________________

Two lawyers went into a diner and sat down at the counter. They
ordered two sodas, took sandwiches out of their packs and started to
eat them. The owner saw what was going on and approached the men. "You
can't eat your own sandwiches in here," he complained. The two lawyers
stopped, looked at each other, and then swapped their sandwiches.
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FEMALE LOGIC

1. A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills. She has fourteen kids but she doesn't really care..
2. One of life's mysteries is how a two-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain five pounds.
3. My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.
4. The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes.
5. The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you are doing, someone else does.
6. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends..
7. Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
8. Sometimes I think I understand everything; then I regain consciousness.
9. I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting fire to my panties.
10. Amazing! You hang something in your closet, for a while, and it shrinks two sizes!
11. Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like...'You know sometimes I forget to eat!' Now, I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name and my keys, but I have never forgotten to eat.. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!
12. The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing -- and then they marry him.
13. I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying and driving too fast.
Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day!
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THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

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Plants gone potty!

[PostmansCorner] THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

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