THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
Diplomacy is the art of saying
'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.
Will Rogers
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
I am wayyy late with the page today.
I took the "war department" down to the
hosp. last night and spent most of it
in the emergency room with her.Not to worry,
just issues with the good ole hernia. She
is ok and there is nothing serious. Altho
she will have a few days off work which is
ok, it will be an extended weekend. Interestingly,
we spent 5 hours sitting in the waiting room,
just waiting, and then 2 hours in the actual
treatment room. Sortof gives a new perspective on
"urgent care". Don't it?
We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
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THE COMICS
called in sick
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u091a.html
gimme back my carrot
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u092a.html
upload it
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u093a.html
natural disasters
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u094a.html
life boat drill
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u095a.html
the blue bird
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u096a.html
you've come a long way baby
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u097a.html
you won't believe it
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u098a.html
the power of make up
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u099a.html
paradox
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u0100a.html
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LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Gamarjobat - Amazing Comedy Duo
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2107.html
Pinata Problem Prank
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2108.html
Presidents Day by Diamond Rio
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2109.html
Shriners Stunts on Motorcycles
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2110.html
After the eighty-three year old lady finished her annual
physical examination, the doctor said, "You are in fine
shape for your age, Mrs. Mallory, but tell me, do you still have intercourse?"
"Just a minute, I'll have to ask my husband," she said..
She stepped out into the crowded reception room and yelled out loud:
"Henry, do we still have intercourse?" And there was a hush!
You could hear a pin drop.
Henry answered impatiently, "If I told you once, Irma, I told
you a hundred times... What we
have is.......
Blue Cross!!"
_______________
Yesterday I was at my local WALMART buying a large bag of Purina dog
chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog. I was in the check-out
line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had an elephant? So because I'm retired and
have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog,
I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't,
because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds
before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of
most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way
that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and
simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally
complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention
here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food
poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's ass and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was Laughing so hard.
______________
Last month a world-wide telephone survey was conducted by the UN.
The only question asked was:
"Could you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food
shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a massive failure because of the following:
1. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.
2. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.
3. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
4. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.
5. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant
6. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant
7. In the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
8. In the UK they hung up as soon as they heard the Indian accent. ..
_________________
THATS ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
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