THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
I've wrestled with reality for 35 years,
and I'm happy to state I finally won out over it.
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
FROM: THE INVESTIGATIVE REPORTS BUREAU OF:
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
In the wake of hurricane Isaac, FEMA today
announced an upgrade to their emergency
evacuation plan...
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
THE COMICS
2 things
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u111a.html
she jumped
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u112a.html
but honey
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u113a.html
breathing
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u114a.html
unusual
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u115a.html
tooth removal
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u116a.html
defense exhibit a
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u117a.html
echo valley
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u118a.html
hotel facebook
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u119a.html
he followed me
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/u120a.html
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LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Who let the dog out?!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2115.html
Tom And Jerry 059 - His Mouse Friday
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2116.html
Fabulous Life Of Filthy Rich Billionaires
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a2117.html
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Two guys were discussing life in general over drinks
one night. "My grandfather lived to be 96."
"Ninety-six? What finally got him?"
"Liquor and women."
"Well, that just goes to show ya," snickered the one
guy, "both will get you in the end."
"Well actually, no, it's not what ya think. Towards the end,
Grandpa couldn't get either one, so he just laid down and died."
__________
There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large,
trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.
Inline image 1
"Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says,menacingly, as I burst into tears.
"Come on, man," I said. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me.
When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance.
I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man . . . and then my dog bit me."
"So . . . I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all.
I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve;
and then you show up and drink the whole damn thing! .......................
But, enough about me, how are you doing?"
__________________
A woman goes into a Discount Fishing Supplies store to buy a rod
and reel for her grandson's birthday.
She doesn't know which one to get, so she just picks one and goes over to the counter.
The salesman is standing there, wearing dark shades.
large_THE-HEX-SHOP_mod-800.jpg
She says, "Excuse me. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"
He says, "Madam, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the counter,
I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound it makes."
She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway.
He says, "That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404
reel and 10-lb.Test line. It's a good all around combination,
and it's actually on sale this week for $44."
She says, "That's amazing that you can tell all that,
just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!"
As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor.
"Oh, that sounds like a Visa card," he says.
As the lady bends down to pick up the card, she accidentally farts.
At first she's really embarrassed, but then realises there is no way
the blind salesman would tell exactly who had farted.
The man rings up the sale and says, "That'll be $58.50 please."
The woman is totally confused by this and asks,
"Didn't you tell me it was on sale for $44. How did you get $58.50?"
"The Duck Caller is $11, and the Fish Bait is $3.50."
__________________
THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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