Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Today is Valentine's Day, which gives people a chance to spend
money on cards, candy, and flowers to show their undying love or
face the consequences. Even though I was raised Catholic I never
was really brought up to speed on these holiday's that are named
after Saints so I decided to do a little research.
It seems a little strange offhand that a saint should be involved
in a
holiday that celebrating love and affection between intimate
companions. There is not a lot known about Valentine but Urban
Legend of the third century says that Emperor Claudius had
banned marriage because supposedly married men made poor
soldiers. Saint Valentine was performing marriages behind the
emperor's back and when he got caught was called up to face
the emperor who offered to spare his life if he converted to
Paganism
and Valentine instead asked the emperor to convert to Christianity.
Claudius was not amused and ordered him jailed awaiting execution.
There he met and fell in love with the daughter of the jailer and
supposedly performed some miracle on her. The first Valentine
was the love note to her on the day of his execution.
Another story connected to Valentine's Day is that prior to
Valentine
for 800 years the Roman young men would draw the names of girls
from a jug and they would be their companions for the next year. The
Pope
proposed an end to the Pagan custom and instead that they should
draw the name of a saint and emulate that person for the next year.
It didn't go over real well, I mean if you were the average teenage
Roman romping with a Roman maiden would seem like a bit more
fun than emulating a Saint who was fed to the lions. The church
decided that it needed to create some new Saints for the young
to look up to. Some of these Saints were later removed because
there was too much Urban Legend in their histories for example,
Saint Christopher. When I first started driving I received a Saint
Christopher's Medal and was told as long as I wore it I would never
get
into an accident. A couple of years later I was told that I couldn't
wear it anymore because they found out the he had never been in
a car let alone had a driver's license back in the 3rd century.
Anyhow enough on religion, even if you forgot to buy a loved one a
gift today, It's not to late to tell them you love them and let them
pick their
Extra Value Meal when you go through the drive-thru.
buffalo says I stopped at Walgreen's the other night and sent Sandy
in to get Valentines for Eva's class. Since there is two teacher's I
asked Sandy to get a nice card for one teacher and to use the one
included
in the box for the other teacher. Sandy asked. Why not get two nice
cards
for the teachers and I told her because the one is only there part time
and Eva hasn't kicked her yet.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
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Please visit our Sponsor
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Mafia Chips
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Mafia Valentine's Day Greetings...
My love for you...
it came and went
So your feet are now
in wet cement.
I'm here to fulfill
your fondest wishes
Now that your husband
sleeps with the fishes.
Lie down with me
It's my final offa,
Or you'll be lying
wit' Jimmy Hoffa.
I picked up this card
from a slim selection,
But that's all they offer
in witness protection.
Love, J. Doe
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valentines day
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b001.html
in the catalogue
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b002.html
misguided love
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/b003.html
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Bra Chips
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The Black Bra (as told by a woman)
I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, one is
a mistress, and I have been married For 20+ years.
We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our
men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels
and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to
exchange notes. Here's how it all went.
My engaged friend:
The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black
leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You
are the woman of my dreams. I love you.' Then we made passionate
love all night long..
The Mistress:
Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was
wearing a Raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and Mask over
my eyes. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, But he
started to tremble and we had wild sex all Night.
Then I had to share my Story:
When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra, black
stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. When he came in the
door and saw me he said,
"What's for Dinner, Batman?"
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Short Chips
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I guess some things will never change. I recently hired a temp to
fill in while my secretary was off for six months on maternity
leave.
Trying to arrive at an agreeable wage, I asked her what she expected
to earn.
The temp replied, "Well ... the minimum I could possibly work for is
four hundred a week."
I told her I'd give her that much with pleasure.
The temp shook her head and replied, "With pleasure, it'll be $600 a
week."
A Jewish boy was walking with his girlfriend on the grounds of his
father's house. His father was a successful doctor, and was carrying
out a circumcision in the on-site surgery. As they were walking,
they heard a scream and a foreskin flew out of the window and landed
at the girl's feet.
"What's this," she asked. "Taste it," he replied, "If you like it,
I'll give you a whole one!"
Q. What do you call a man with a broken condom?
A. Daddy.
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Short Chips
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A happy couple went on a cruise for their honeymoon. The couple's
conversation headed towards political and international events. The
husband
asked, "Honey. What do you think about the Middle East position."
His
wife replied, "I don't know, dear, Have we already tried it?"
~~~~~
Sign in front of church in Montpelier, VT:
Bingo Friday night at 8:00pm
Quickies Thursday at 7:30pm.
~~~~~~
Three members of a weekly female bridge quartet were duly
impressed when the fourth arrived wearing a gorgeous new mink
coat. "That's a lovely garment Joan," purred Kay.
"It must have cost a fortune!" Sue said.
"No, it didn't," said Joan, "just a single piece of ass."
"You mean," Barb chimed in, "one that you gave your husband?"
"No," smiled Joan "One that he got from the maid."
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Short Chips
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A man and a woman were engaged in heated sexual intercourse. The
woman was screaming and wiggling like she had never before.
Afterwards, she flings the lights on and stares him straight in the
eyes. "You know you were fucking me in the ass, don't you?" "I
wasn't quite sure,"
replied the man. "Surely you realized that it wasn't like our
normal sex. Why didn't you stop?" pleaded the wife. "You know how
much we men hate to stop and ask for directions..."
When one of the girls of the Establishment died, the funeral was a
beautiful affair. Hundreds of friends and clients showed up for the
solemn procession. Car on car of brightly colored flowers followed
the slow moving hearse, and when they finally arrived at the
cemetery the Madam took her place at the side of the yawning grave
and began to weep copiously. Two of the girls, standing nearby,
heard the Madam muttering through her sobs -a quiet, reflective,
eulogy: That was a wonderful girl. She brought in more business
than any girl I ever had.
She was the best prostitute I ever knew. One of the girls turned to
her companion. "See?" she mused, "You have to die before they say
something nice about you!"
Incidentally, Ladies of the Evening have their share of the
currently fashionable neuroses just like everyone else. But they
have one complaint about psychiatrists that the rest of us do not
share.
Gorgeous Gussie puts it this way: "This is the only guy I know who
tells me to lay down on a couch and then sends me a bill."
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
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Subscribers and Friends
Derry Heart/Valentine
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/D_H/D_Li.html
Melva/Valentine
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/HDy/H_V.html
Melva/Valentine
http://silverandgoldandthee.com/Holiday2/ValentineAgo.html
Rick w/ How Do I Love Thee (Valentines Day Page)
http://www.wtv-zone.com/Cruise_2000/ra/LoveThee.html
John w/ ~Love~ Happy Valentines Day
http://heavens-gates.com/valentine/
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Surfin Surfari
Kraft: Sweets for Valentines
http://tinyurl.com/yjccl5j
Valentine's Day-History and Customs
http://wilstar.com/holidays/valentn.htm
Be Mine
http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/Pages/BeMine.htm
Daughter
http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/Pages/ValentineDaughter.htm
I Want You
http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/Pages/IWantYouForMyValentine.htm
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Tech Links
My Valentine for Sam
http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/Pages/My_Puppy.htm
Romantic Castles
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/castles.html
Love Test
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lovetest.html
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.dogbreedinfo.com/
Kitty Korner
http://www.paws-and-effect.com/
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Lost Chips
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A man is lost in the desert. He used up the last of his water three
days ago and he's lying, gasping, on the sand, when in the distance
he suddenly hears a voice calling "Mush! Mush!"
Not trusting his ears he turns his head and there it is again,
closer
this time -- "Mush! Mush!"
Propping himself up on one elbow he squints against the sun and
sees,
of all things, an Eskimo in a fur coat driving a sled with a team of
huskies across the dunes. Thinking that it's a hallucination, he
blinks and shakes his head, but it's for real! He painfully lifts
one arm and in a cracked voice calls, "He-elp!"
The Eskimo pulls the sled up by him, the huskies panting in the
heat,
and he says to the Eskimo, "I don't know what you're doing here, or
why, but thank God you are! I've been wandering around this desert
for days, my water's all gone
and I'm completely lost!"
The perspiring Eskimo looks down at him and says, "You think YOU'RE
lost!"
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Toon Chips
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Limerick Chips
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His dick is most surely a dilly,
A grand and marvelous Willie.
His gal loves to give head,
But most often instead,
He ends by just screwing her silly.
A decent young fellow named Herm
Was equipped with a geyser-like worm:
The size wasn't much
But its volume was such
That his lovers did backstroke in sperm.
I know that you'll think me quite dotty,
But please, no caffeine in the latte!
One simple espresso -
I put on a dress, oh,
And really start acting quite naughty!
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Parting Chips
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A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding
man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on
bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. The man then takes
out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.
His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding
man and asks him what he is doing.
The man says, "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess
who?'"
"You actually know that many women?" he asks, amazed.
"No," says the mad mailer. "I don't know any of them."
"Then why spend so much to send so many expensive cards?" asks the
man.
"I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 2139
The Wanderlust
(Note I am sharing some special stories that were written for
Tami, my editor and Susan a co-worker. Enjoy)
Tami is helped into Katherine's Van by Sandi who says
Sandi: We will drive you home. It is for your own good.
Tami: Esh okay wiff me.
Inside the van...
Rudy: Here drink this cup of special expresso I made for you.
Tami takes a drink, her eyes bug out, her heart starts to race.
Tami: What is this?
Rudy: Oh it is a triple expresso, with extra caffeine.
Tami: Can someone check my heart rate?
Katie: Sure I can....Hmmm, it is only 150 a minute...it will slow down
in a bit. I image your buzz is gone by now.
Tami is vibrating...: Yes, I fell fine, in fact I think I could outrun
this van.
We should be at my home by know.
Sandi: We are not going to your home.
Tami: Ack! I am being kidnaped.
Rudy: Dognaped.
Tami: Whatever...okay what is the plan.
Sandi: Katie has invented this unique machine...we have not tested it
before and thought you might like to test it. You type in where you
would like to go...anywhere in the universe and this van will take us
there.
Tami: Wow.... Okay.
Tami types on the console...I would like to go to a world where there
are fairies....she presses enter and bells ring and lights flash and
Zoom!
A few minutes later they land...
Rudy: Let's see the place and check out the fairies.
Tami: I want to be the first out.
Sandi: Go Tami, you go girl.
Tami steps out of the van onto a beautiful land...butterflies abound,
flowers everywhere, a small stream with deer drinking from it is not
too far away.
Tami: This is just how I would imagine it.
From the woods comes a guy wearing a dress: Oh you hoo, did you
bring any men?
Rudy: No, who are you?
Woodsman: I am the queen of the woods.
Sandi: Oh a wood fairy for sure.
Katie: Well the machine did bring us to a fairy....
Tami: Back to the van!
Rudy: Run!
Woodsman: Oh you sweet white dog, come back and let me hug you.
Rudy: A-Roo!!!
The Herd
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Adult Adult Adult
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Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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