Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
If you are reading this I gues you made it to 2012 and survived
the hangover.
Here is the list of important birthdays for the month of January
January
1. Betsy Ross, Paul Revere, Jim Webster
2. Roger Miller, David Cone, Melissa Hall
3. Cheryl Miller, Bobby Hull, Mel Gibson, Lane Pope
4. Don Shula, Tom Thumb
5. Dick Endberg, Diane Keaton, Chuck Berry
6. Nancy Lopez, Sherlock Holmes
7. Katie Couric, Nicholas Cage, Kenny Loggins
8. David Bowie, Elvis Presley, Soupy Sales
9. Richard Nixon, Bart Starr, Crystal Gayle
10. George Foreman, Rod Stewart, Eddie Treadway
11. Ben Crenshaw, Alexander Hamilton, Tom Netherton
12. Howard Stern, Rush Limbaugh, Kristie Alley, Dean Beechy
13. Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Robert Stack, Yellow Rose, Lou Taylor
14. Benedict Arnold, Andy Rooney
15. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Jane Ervolino
16. A.J. Foyt, Ethel Merman
17. Muhammad Ali, Jim Carey, Benjamin Franklin
18. Mark Messier, Kevin Costner, A. A. Milne
19. Robert E. Lee, Janis Joplin, Edgar Allen Poe, Dave / Murphy
20. Buzz Aldrin, DeForest Kelly, Mitzi From Monti
21. Hakeem Olajuwon, Placido Domingo, Pat Stewart
22. Linda Blair, Joseph Wambaugh, Mike Bossy
23. Humphrey Bogart, John Hancock, Chuck Cottom, Rose Savage
24. Mary Lou Retton, John Belushi, Neil Diamond, Samantha in
Oregon
25. Virginia Wolf, Robert Burns
26. Wayne Gretzky, Eddie Van Halen, Gene Siskel
27. Wolfgang Mozart, Mikhail Baryshnikov, Lewis Carroll
28. Alan Alda, Jackson Pollack, Elijah Wood
29. Oprah Winfrey, William McKinley, Tom Selleck
30. Franklin Roosevelt, Phil Collins, Dick Cheney
31. Nolan Ryan, Jackie Robinson, Justin Timberlake, Ernie Banks
I want to thank everyone that contributed to the Chips this year.
The
stories, jokes, cartoons, and links that you share with the herd
makes
this group unique. Just when I think that I have heard every joke in
the world someone sends me something I have never seen before.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
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Please visit our Sponsor
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Advice Chips
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The following appeared in the "Ask Isadora" column of our local
"alternative" newspaper for the week of April 6-12.... Isadora is a
"Sexologist" who publishes a Q&A column weekly. This is for real--this
is not a joke. This is not a test....
"Q. I am a healthy 30 year old male. My girlfriend and I enjoy a
happy, active sex life. Recently we discovered a new twist we both
enjoy. We bake an 8x10 foot pepperoni pizza in sections, assembling it
on our living room floor which is covered with sheets of black plastic.
My girlfriend goes into the living room, shuts off the lights, and
activates a life-sized animatronic figure of the pope which stands at
the end of the room. The pope's eyes light up and he begins blessing
the enormous pizza and my girlfriend, who reclines thereon clad only in
slices of cheese. I am outside the room at this point and the doors are
closed. I can hear the theme from ROCKY being played within as I wait,
dressed as a huge clove of garlic. When the music reaches its climax, I
burst through the door and hurl myself upon my girlfriend and we
copulate madly at the feet of the robot pope while I shout, 'Poperoni!
Come on, Tony! Not a phony! Poperoni!' Anyway, my question is this:
could garlic pizza sauce be hazardous to human genitalia? Could you
recommend any particularly arousing brand?"
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
meat inspector
http://thepostmanscorner.net/y006.html
reservations
http://thepostmanscorner.net/y007.html
like this
http://thepostmanscorner.net/y008.html
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Transvestite Chips
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Transvestite definitions
Trans-sister - a cross-dressing nun
Transformation - A cross-dressing rocky outcrop.
Where do cross-dressing vampires come from? Transylvania.
What do cross-dressing steeples do? They transpire.
Transport - cds' favorite wine.
Transporter - cd wino.
Transfer - cd's politically-incorrect coat.
Transcontinental - rich cd's car.
Transmigration - pilgramage to San Francisco.
Transmute - A cd who can't speak
Transceiver - A cd's ham radio set.
Transmit - A cd's baseball glove.
Translate - A cd who's never on time.
A transvestite who abuses newsgroups? A crossposter.
Transformer - cd's ex-wife.
Transpose - what she caught him doing in front of the mirror.
Transcendental - cd tooth "fairy."
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Work Chips
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NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS FOR WORK
~ Ask boss if I can stop wearing a name tag.
~ Clear out beer cans from behind desk.
~ Resist the urge to call my boss "Wilbur".
~ Find out when in the hell we actually get paid for this nonsense.
~ Install really cool new video games on office computer.
~ Play harder, work less . who needs a paycheck anyway?
~ I'll actually work from home on my telecommuting days.
~ To stop using Facebook as a communication tool for somebody in the
same room
as me.
~ Flirt less with the officemates (simply because most of them are
guys!)
~ Not stare at my computer monitor simply because I don't have anything
worthwhile to do.
~ Keep it to myself that I have trouble with authority when I'm being
interviewed.
~ Switch my username to "password" and my password to "username" to make
each a
lot harder for hackers to figure out.
~ I will not bore my boss by with the same excuse for taking leaves. I
will
think of some more excuses.
~ I resolve to hold my breath and pull in my paunch when I see my young
secretary.
~ I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it.
~ I will not tell the same story at every get together.
~ Work less. Take it easy. All work and no play can make you a dull boy
or
girl.
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After Chips
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WHAT MEN SHOULDN'T SAY AFTER SEX
1) "I was kidding about being sterile, you know."
2) "Do you always fart like that when someone shoves it in?"
3) "How come it's so BIG in there?"
4) "You've done this with a lotta guys before---right?"
5) "Next time I come over, don't bother with the underwear, OK?"
6) (Sniff, sniff) "Is that CAT food?"
7) (Yelling) "OK guys, it's a wrap, cut, and print it!!"
8) "You are great in bed, but your sister gives better head!"
9) "My first wife was prettier, but you can screw a lot better."
10) "Do you know what a 'douche' is ?"
11) "Maybe if you did some pushups, your boobs would grow."
12) "I want you to try some of MY deodorant."
13) "I'm not into relationships. Can't we just screw, like every Tuesday
night or something?"
14) "Maybe if you lost some weight, I could get it all the way in!"
15) "I never saw a girl with hairy tits before !"
16) "I've been getting these little blisters lately-------"
17) "You wanna do those dishes before you leave ?"
18) "You should go wash that, the cabbie will think something DIED in
there!"
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Short Chips
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I got up at halftime and went into the bathroom to make room for
some more beer. When I came out my wife said, "Did you wash your
hands?"
I said, "No. Why make such a big deal about it?" "Well, you went to
the bathroom, your hands are dirty," she complained, "Go back and
wash them!" "I don't know what you're complaining about, I didn? t
touch anything in there you haven't had in your mouth!" I slept on
the couch that night.
Soon after being transferred to a new duty station, my Marine
husband called home to tell me he would be late again. He went on
to say that dirty magazines had been discovered in the platoon's
quarters and they had to discipline the whole squad. I launched
into a tirade, arguing that many men had pictures hanging in their
quarters at our previous post, so his new platoon should not be
penalized for something trivial. My husband calmly listened to my
gripes and then explained, "Honey, dirty magazines: the clips from
their rifles had not been cleaned."
Gay Man's Motto: My body is a temple. With ample parking in the
rear.
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/New Music(Gospel)
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Js/Gp_files/Gp.html
Different Time
http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/Pages/differenttime.htm
John w/ A Day Of Memories
http://heavens-gates.com/elvis/softlyasileaveyou/
Carol w/Childhood Friend
http://www.carolspoetry.com/hood.html
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Surfin Surfari
Dancing Couple
http://sorisomail.com/email/74298/como-se-danca-o-merengue.html
Best Fails of 2011
http://www.noob.us/humor/some-of-the-best-fails-of-2011/
World's Fastest Cars
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/fastcars.html
TSA's Calendar Gals!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/tsa.html
Playboy Bunny Calendar!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/calendar.html
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Spell check
http://www.spellcheck.net/
dbpower amp
http://www.dbpoweramp.com/
Classic Car Sigs
http://wtv-zone.com/emma/cars/cars.html
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.dogbreedinfo.com/
Doggie Zone
http://www.purina.com/dogs/index.aspx
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Movie Links
How A Real Man Takes Off His Underwear
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kjhjkh.htm
How Mens Underwear Should Be Advertised
http://www.buffaloschips.com/hjhk.htm
How To Get Rid Of A One Night Stand
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jhjkhjk.htm
It can Make You suck
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jghjhgjhg.htm
It's Cool To Wear A Scottish Kilt
http://www.buffaloschips.com/asda.htm
Olympic
http://www.buffaloschips.com/es3.htm
Perception
http://www.buffaloschips.com/lkj89.htm
Person Of The Week
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ksdaa.htm
Puppy VS Mirror
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sjdskjd.htm
Recession USA
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdklslkw.htm
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Marine Chips
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Bumper stickers seen on Marine Corps Base "U.S. Marines --
Certified Counselors to the 72 Virgins Dating Club"
" Water-boarding is out so kill them all!"
"Interrogators can't water board dead guys"
" U.S. Marines -- Travel Agents To Allah"
"Stop Global Whining"
"When In Doubt, Empty The Magazine" Naval Corollary; Dead men don't
testify.
"The Marine Corps -- When It Absolutely, Positively Has To Be
Destroyed Overnight"
"Death Smiles At Everyone -- Marines Smile Back"
"Marine Sniper - You can run, but you'll just die tired!"
"What Do I Feel When I Kill A Terrorist? .... A little Recoil"
"Marines -- Providing Enemies of America an Opportunity To Die For
their Country Since 1775"*
"Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Anyone Who Threatens It"
"Happiness Is A Belt-Fed Weapon"
"It's God's Job to Forgive Bin Laden -- It's Our Job To Arrange The
Meeting"
"Artillery Brings Dignity to What Would Otherwise Be Just A Brawl"
"One Shot, Twelve Kills -- US Navy Gun Fire Support"
"Do draft dodgers Have Reunions? If So, What Do They Talk About?"
"My kid fought in Iraq so your kid can party in college"
"Machine Gunners -- Accuracy by Volume"
"A Dead Enemy Is A Peaceful Enemy -- Blessed Be The Peacemakers"
"If You Can Read, Thank A Teacher. If You Can Read It In English,
Thank A Veteran"
"Except For Ending Slavery, Fascism, Nazism, and Communism, WAR has
Never Solved Anything.*
"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a
difference in the world. But, the Marines don't have that problem."
- Ronald Reagan
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Toon Chips
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Hard Chair
http://www.buffaloschips.com/40224.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffaloschips.com/40224.htm "> Here!</a>
Self Service
http://www.buffaloschips.com/40223.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffaloschips.com/40223.htm "> Here!</a>
Need Help With Your Aim?
http://www.buffaloschips.com/40222.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffaloschips.com/40222.htm "> Here!</a>
c&m
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jfhsgkfldg.htm
c chicken
http://www.buffaloschips.com/mvjfkgjfdlg.htm
cable guy
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kgjlfdcghfd.htm
cafe
http://www.buffaloschips.com/mjfkdfhgf.htm
penis boxer
http://www.buffaloschips.com/fjxkldgjdf.htm
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Limerick Chips
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There was a young lady of Dover
Whose passion was such that it drove her.
To cry, when you came,
"Oh dear! What a shame!
Well, now we shall have to start over."
___________________________________
A cock of a fellow named Randall,
Shot sparks like a big Roman candle,
He was much in demand,
For the colors were grand,
But most girls found him too hot to handle.
___________________________________
A cock of a fellow named Randall,
Shot sparks like a big Roman candle,
He was much in demand,
For the colors were grand,
But most girls found him too hot to handle.
Ross
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Parting Chips
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A lady and her husband have been arguing back
And forth for some time. She makes an appointment
To see her doctor and tells him, "My husband
Has been complaining that my pussy has an odor,
But I bent over and took a whiff, and I don't
Smell anything."
The doctor examines her, and then says,
"Ma'am, you need an operation."
She says, "On my pussy?"
He says, "No, on your NOSE!"
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 2134
The Christmas Tree
BJ: Everyone it is time to go get our tree.
Sandi: Yes, I am ready.
Katie: I want a nice silver aluminum one.
Diana: No it is going to be a real one from the
country. Afterwards, we will plant it.
Rudy: Can I water it first?
BJ: No it is coming into the house. You can
water others.
Rudy: Okay, let's go!
Val: Let me get my rawhide.
To be continued
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Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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