Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I woke up early Thursday morning and started on my email so I
would have time to do the chips before TOPS. I would stop for
a few minutes and pop over to Farmville and do my crops and
as I went back to my mail the computer stopped responding. I
ran scans with AVAST and Super Anti Spyware in both normal
and safe mode and then transferred a new copy of Malwarebytes
with a flash drive as the one I had on the computer wouldn't
run. I suspect it also had a proxy server running on it as I couldn't
get my Avast to show as running along with the Firewall and
when I looked for system Restore it said I had no restore points.
Not to ignore a possible hardware problem I removed the CPU
fan and checked the radiator and reseated the RAM and PCI
cards. and when I took a break on Friday afternoon it had a black
screen and a cursor but would run normal in Safe Mode. When
I started back in Fri evening I removed all of the software I had
installed in the past several weeks including Open Office and
the Excel Viewer because at that point I didn't even trust MS.
Armed with RKILL which is supposed to shut down dangerous
processes I reran all of my scans with no luck and finally about
0400 I hit it with Combofix. It crippled the malware on the first
scan and gave me a long report of what it had done but I still
had a few errors and after a couple of hours the computer had
slowed down again and I ran combofix one more time and reinstalled
AVAST as Combofix kept telling me to disable AVAST before
running Combofix so I removed it completely and it still said it was
there.That is the effects of the proxy server modifying the data you
are receiving. It has been running smoothly for about 12 hours
now so it looks like I got the rascal. The people up here that
charge 75.00 to remove malware would have definitely earned
their money and with Best Buy it would have been cheaper to
buy a new computer.
What bothers me is that I never got the usual malware notice
telling me my computer was infected and asking if I wanted to
scan for an infection which normally downloads the infection.
Whatever did it was subtle enough I missed it.
In addition to computer problems the website is also down till we
get the domain reregistered.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
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Whorehouse Chips
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One afternoon, in the yard of a bawdy house in a red light district of
New Orleans two young boys were playing with their toy cars and trucks,
oblivious to their environment. Innocent of the ways of the world, they
had chosen this yard for its bare spots and patches, where dusty dirt
and toy cars mixed perfectly.
After a while, two gentlemen walked up to the front door, speaking to
each other as they passed the boys:
FIRST MAN - "Have you got the twenty dollars?" SECOND MAN - "I've got it
right here."
The men disappear into the house, and the boys resume playing in the
yard, curious, but not too curious. About an hour later, the same two
men exit the house, again speaking as they pass the boys: FIRST MAN -
"Now, didn't I tell you that was worth twenty bucks?" SECOND MAN -
"Yeah, that was great. I'm glad we came." The men walk off, and the two
youngsters look at each other meaningfully and begin digging into their
jeans.
BOY ONE - "I got twenny cents!"
BOY TWO - "Let's go, I got a quarter!"
So they proceed to cross the porch and knock on the door, shuffling and
sniffling as they wait for the door to be answered. Finally the Madame
opens the door, and after looking around, looks low enough to spot the
boys wiggling in their nervousness.
MADAME - "Whadda YOU boys doin' here. GEDDADA here!" BOY ONE, who has
collected their pooled resources, takes the initiative: BOY ONE -
"Please Ma'am, can we have 45 cents worth of what those guys just got
for twenny bucks?"
MADAME - (Never one to pass up easy cash) "Where's your money?" As BOY
ONE holds up the $.45, she grabs it, opens her housecoat slightly and
puts her fingers down her panties, then rubs them under each boys nose.
After this the Madame yells, "Now GEDDADA here!" and slams the door. As
the boys slowly walk across the porch, they speak: BOY ONE - "Well,
whaddaya think?"
BOY TWO - "Oh, it was ok, but I don't think I could take twenny dollars
worth!"
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
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Snow Chips
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-- Jim Nash, associate editor of the Business Journal (San Jose and the
Silicon Valley, Calif.), contributes, "Thought I'd tell you about one of
the rare times the unadulterated truth saw print. Jon Young, the
photographer at the Crystal Lake (Ill.) Herald had just gotten out of
the darkroom after printing up a photo of a surprise spring snowfall of
several inches in a couple hours. He wrote a cutline, but could not get
the weather service to return his call asking for an official statement
on inches. Jon took off for dinner. The number arrived after he left,
and was inserted by a rushed reporter. When Jon called later to see if
there were any questions for him, he was told there were none. The
cutline was pasted up thusly:
"'Arthur Loy, foreground, and his mother, Judy, used teamwork
Sunday to clear their sidewalk of nearly seven inches of snow that fell
Saturday evening. Though a shitload of snow fell Saturday, snowplow
crews had most major streets cleared by Sunday.'
"'Twas the only edition of the Herald that has ever sold out."
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Midget Chips
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A midget went into a whorehouse. None of the girls wanted to provide the
service for him, so finally they drew lots and Julie was the unlucky
one. So they went up to the room. A minute later, there was a loud
scream. The madam and all the girls charged up the staircase and into
the room. Julie lay on the floor in a dead faint. Standing next to the
bed was the midget, nude, and with a two foot penis hanging down and
touching the floor. The girls were awe struck by the sight. Finally, one
of the girls says," sir, would you mind if I felt it? I've never seen
anything like that before." The midget replies," Okay, honey. But only
touching. No sucking. I used to be six feet tall!"
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Men Chips
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How men think
I received a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend the other day.
We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic nights we used
to
enjoy together. I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be
interested in
meeting up and rekindling a little of that "magic".
"Wow!" I said. "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now. I'm a
bit
older and a bit balder than when you last saw me."
She just giggled and said she was sure I'd "rise" to the challenge.
"Yeah." I said. "Just so long as you don't mind a man with a waistline
that's a few inches Wider these days!"
She laughed and told me to stop being so silly. She teased me saying
that
tubby bald men were cute, and she was sure I would still be a great
lover.
Anyway, she giggled and said, "I've put on a few pounds myself!"
So I told her to get lost!
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Little Johnny Chips
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Little Johnny was playing in his room
when his dad walked in and explained
that he and his mom were getting a divorce.
"Why Daddy?" asked a confused Little
Johnny.
"Well, son" he explained, "Your mother
and I are no longer in love."
Now more confused, Little Johnny asked,
"What does being in love mean?"
The father explained, "Let me give you
an example, son. Love is when a husband
rushes home from a long day at work to
embrace and kiss his wife at the door.
Your mom and I have lost that love..."
Then little Johnny said, "But Daddy,
I see Mommy getting excited lots of times
right when you come home, so she must
still be in love with you."
The father was rather confused with his son's
statement since he had personally never
experienced this as of late. "I don't understand,
son. When has your mother recently been
excited when I arrive home from work?"
Little Johnny replied, "Well, sometimes when
Mommy is still playing in bed with the neighbor,
and you pull into the driveway, she shouts at
the top of her lungs, 'My husband's home!
My husband's home!!'"
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LynnLynn's Links
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/R&R 1
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Mu/50/50s.html
I'm Not Alone
http://www.poetryinfocus.com/Poetry/Poem056.html
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Color Blind test
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City Silhouettes
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Enabling Spell Check in Mac OSX
http://www.tuaw.com/2007/05/07/mac-101-enabling-built-in-spell-check
iResize Photo Resizer for Mac Free
http://mac.softpedia.com/get/Graphics/iResize.shtml
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Animal World
Doggie Zone Puppy Love
http://www.kerryblues.info/KB/PUPPY_LOVE.HTML
Kitty Korner
http://www.catnetwork.com/main.asp
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Duck Chips
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LAWYER: "On the morning of July 25th, did you walk from the farmhouse
down the
footpath to the cowshed?"
WITNESS: "I did."
LAWYER: "And as a result, you passed within a few yards of the
duckpond?"
WITNESS: "I did."
LAWYER: "And did you observe anything?"
WITNESS: "I did." (Witness remains silent.)
LAWYER: "Well, could you tell the Court what you saw?"
WITNESS: "I saw George."
LAWYER: " You saw George, the defendant in this case?"
WITNESS: "Yes."
LAWYER: "Can you tell the Court what George was doing?"
WITNESS: "Yes." (Witness remains silent.)
LAWYER: "Well, would you kindly do so?"
WITNESS: " He had his thing stuck into one of the ducks."
LAWYER: "His 'thing?'"
WITNESS: "You know... His thing. His di... I mean, his penis."
LAWYER: "You passed close by the duckpond, the light was good, you were
sober,
you have good eyesight, and you saw this clearly?"
WITNESS: "Yes."
LAWYER: "Did you say anything to him?"
WITNESS: "Of course, I did!"
LAWYER: "What did you say to him?"
WITNESS: "Morning, George."
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Toon Chips
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Limerick Chips
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A Sailor, Ashore In Peru
Said ''Señora, Quanto Por La Screw?''
''For Only One Peso
I Will, If You Say So,
Be Buggered And Nibble It Too.''
________________________
A pirate, so history relates
Was scuffling with some of his mates
When he slipped on his cutlass
Which rendered him nutless
And practically worthless on dates.
________________________
A Rabbi who came from Peru
Was vainly attempting to screw
His wife said "Oy vey!
If you keep up this way
The Messiah will come before you."
<Snagged by>
Ross
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Parting Chips
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I get irritated when people come down on our law enforcement
officers, saying that they don't care about or respect others. Well,
here is a story that clearly shows not all cops are in that
category.
This story involves Troopers of the Oregon State Police who
reported finding a man's body yesterday in the early evening,
in the Rouge River near GoldBeach. The dead man's name
would not be released until his family had been notified.
The victim apparently drowned due to excessive beer consumption
while visiting "someone" in a local bar . He was wearing black
fishnet stockings, 4 inch spiked heels, a red garter belt, a pink
G-string, purple lipstick, dazzle dust on his eyelids, 1/2 inch
false eyelashes and an OBAMA T-shirt.
The Troopers removed the Obama T-shirt to spare his family any
unnecessary embarrassment.
See there, Oregon State Troopers really do care !!
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 2135
The Tree
Into the woods the family goes. Sandi and Rudy are pulling a wagon.
Katie: I am cold. How much further? I am hungry.
Val: I sure do like the snow.
BJ: It has been a really nice wet snow. Everything is so pretty. It
is
nice and still.
Diana: Yes, it is very peaceful.
Katie: Did I mention I am thirsty?
BJ: Well pretty much peaceful.
Diana: Look over there in the clearing, there is one tree by itself.
Rudy: A-Roo!!!!
Sandi: It looks perfect.
BJ: Hand me the axe.
Silence...
Sandi: Do we have to? I mean why can't we just decorate this tree
and let it live?
Val: It should be so.
Diana: Okay, let's do it.
Soon ornaments adorned the tree and only one thing was missing... the
Star at the top.
BJ: Let me hold you Val while you put the star at the top.
Val: Okay.
Soon the star was set at the top of the tree and all stood back from the
Tree and admired their work.
Diana: This seems better here than in our home.
BJ: Yes, it does.
Katie: What will we do for a tree at the house?
Sandi: I have a plan.
To be continued
BJ Cassady
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Adult Adult
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Remember 9/11/01
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