Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I thought they had this fixed last week.
Because of a problem related to the fix to our MTA servers last week,
one of the servers, which was supposed to be fully offline, was still
accepting messages (but not sending them out).
As a consequence, approximately 7% of messages that entered Groups last
week were never actually posted to the group archive or distributed via
email. This includes messages that were sent via email, through posts on
the site, as well as messages that moderators approved.
The good news is that the problem should now be fully resolved and no
messages sent today (7/18) should be affected. In addition, the messages
that were stuck on the "out of rotation" server are being posted to the
group archive and emailed out.
The bad news is that because of the sheer number of messages that were
stuck, it's going to take at least another day for these messages to all
be sent and some of the sent messages will then have been delayed for up
to a week. Plus, given this long delay, some users will have reposted
the messages themselves to the group already, which means that the
delayed message will then seem like a duplicate when it arrives.
Our apologies for any inconvenience and confusion caused by this error,
which was ultimately caused by the combination of the mistake with the
server and a failure of the monitoring systems meant to detect such
problems. We are already in the process of reviewing our systems to make
sure a mistake like this never happens again.
- Yahoo! Groups Team
P.S. If you believe the problem has not been fully resolved and messages
sent on the 18th (or later) have not posted, contact Customer Care using
this form:
http://help.yahoo.com/l/us/yahoo/groups/original/members/contact/ygpostform1.html
http://tinyurl.com/postingproblem
If you do, please provide as much detail as possible on when you posted
the missing message and how; and if the message was posted via email,
please include the message header (from your "sent" folder). Thank you.
buffalo says Unfortunately some of our lists were served by that machine
and were never sent. I received several that were 6 days old yesterday
but I still have others
from as far back as the Fourth of July missing. Over the years I have
learned ways
to control the outgoing mail and therefore you will not receive 4 or 5
copies of everything
that was sent like it did the first times it happened. Come to think of
it Yahoo
promised to fix the same problem back about 2003 so we probably will see
it again.
Enjoy the chips buffalo
Some newsletters you may enjoy.
Every Body needs a Stupid Joke!
Stupid Jokes (PG 18)
STUPIDJOKE-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Monday Thru Friday, The Stupidest Jokes on the Internet!
And
C's PLACE TOO
A small group where you can post trades, recipes, small items for sale.
To join:
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Mexican Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
COMPILATION OF MEXICAN WORDS OF THE DAY!
'Heater' - My little sister started to choke, perro my mom told me
to heater in the back.
'Juicy' - Hey Vato, I will roll a joint and ju tell me if juicy the
cops!
'Sodas' - My vieja looks good and sodas her sister.
'Cheese' - Maria likes me pero cheese too fat.
' Chile ' - When my wife and I were dating, she was fine, but since
we got married chile herself go.
' Juarez ' - My vieja slapped me and I said, juarez your *uckin
problem! Bish!
'Chicken' - My wife wanted me to go to the store, but chicken go
herself.
'Harrassment' - Orale vato my old lady caught me n bed wit my sancha
pero harrasment nothing to me!!!
'Water' - My vieja gets mad and I dont even know water problem is.
'Brief' - My homie farted gacho bad, and I could not brief.
'Mushroom' - Orale vato, when all my familia gets in the car, there
is not mushroom.
'Frito' - After arguing with the pinche policia he told me i wuz
frito go.
'Wafer' - I wanted to go to the movies with my friends, pero los
mensos didn't wafer me.
'July' - You told me you were going to the store and July to me!
Julyer!
'Liver and Cheese' - Some vato tried to sweet talk my ruca, I told
him 'orale loco liver alone, cheese mines.'
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
car wash
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Short Chips
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A secretary was bragging about her boss. She said, "My boss says,
nothing is impossible."
The intimate friend said, "Ya, well tell him next time not to wear a
condom during sex, enjoy it intimately and control pregnancy prospects."
==
A mother found a condom in daughter's private chest. She faced the
daughter in anger and asked the explanation.
Daughter asked back, "Mom, what do you expect me to do, be pregnant."
==
A new playboy married man magazine is introduced. It displays the same
woman on front page every issue."
==
A science student asked the woman professor, "Ma'am how much calcium is
there in a woman's breast?"
Caught with surprize woman professor explained, "Enough my dear enough.
It is enough to make your penis stand up erect and strong."
==
Johnny was trying to have sex with Susie against her objection of it
being evil."
Johnny cajoled her, "Evil, yes it is evil and sin, but Susie, sin is
forgiven, so let us begin to be forgiven by God."
==
A woman asked the Doctor, "What is a good time for sex?"
Doctor winked and said, "Between 12PM and 1PM."
Surprised woman asked, "And how it is that, Doctor?"
Doctor said, "Well, that is the time, My nurse goes to lunch."
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My sister is a flat chested girl.
I'm quite a joker, and one day i said to her "Would you
wear gloves if you had no hands??"
She said "No".
So i said "So why do you wear a bra then??"
At this point i thought it advisable to run away, before
she threw something at me.
~~~~~
Sean got home in the early hours of the morning after a night at
the local pub. He made such a racket hitting into the furniture as
he weaved his way through the house, that he woke up the missus.
"What on earth are you doing down there?" she yelled down from the
bedroom. "Get yourself up here to bed and don't waken the
neighbours."
"I'm trying to get a barrel of Guinness up the stairs" he shouted.
"Leave it 'till the morning" she shouted down
"I can't" he said "I've drank it!"
~~~~~
Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy said
to Dolly "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," said Dolly
"It's true, straight up no bull!"
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Wool Chips
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Back in the Cold War days, Ivan was a diplomat
and spy. He was new to the USA and lived in
Washington, D.C. for past six months. He soon
complained to Boris, his aide, that he needed a
woman.
Boris dropped off a high-priced hooker at his
door the following Saturday night. Ivan plied her
with some vodka and caviar. As she took her top,
he noticed that her armpits were shaved. He said,
pointing top his own pits, "Vomen in the old
country have wool - they have wool!"
She responded, "It's customary and fashionable to shave our
underarms."
They drank more vodka and ate more caviar. She
removed her slacks. He noticed that her legs are
shaved also. He repeated, "Vomen in the old
country have wool - they have wool!" Once more,
she said, "It's customary and fashionable to
shave our legs."
After more vodka and caviar, he pulled down her
panties and saw that her privates were trimmed.
He exclaimed again, "Vomen in the old country
have wool - they have wool!"
She then asked in loud voice, "Look buddy, did you want to screw or
knit?"
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Name Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What's in a name ? A lot more than you think. Here's your chance
to
learn what his pet name for you really means. Don't say we didn't
warn
you !!
Darling -- Depends on how he says it. If he stresses
the first syllable, then he's probably done something wrong or wants
money.
Dear -- Probably a leftover from his parents. Expect
him to wear woolly cardigans, smoke a pipe and prefer a mug of
ovaltine
to lager.
Sweetheart -- If it's said patronisingly, it's not so sweet. But
when
uttered in ernest, it may send your own sweet heart aflutter.
Babe -- Not to be confused with the film of the same name. Check for
flares or signs that he's a 70s throwback. He's a bit of a
medallion
man. Chances are he's got his initials on his chunky ring. Leave
immediately if he tries to sell you a second-hand car.
Baby doll -- This type of man will probably require you
to wear transparent frilly nighties even in the dead of
winter. He doesn't want you to grow up, and obviously can't deal
with
real women.
Princess -- Never trust a man who calls you princess.
You may think you're being treated like royalty, but beware of
Prince
Charmings - they may be secretly plotting your overthrow.
Memsahib -- At least you're in no doubt as to who wears the trousers
in
this relationship. Who said that colonisation was dead ?
Luv -- Expect him to be a builder, plumber, chippie, sparkie
or just an all round general geezer. Probably calls everyone else
this
too, including his dear mum, the vicar and the pet dog.
Fatty -- No problem if you're thin. If you're not - kick him out -
unless he exceeds 40 stone himself.
Sexy -- Fine if you're sexy. If you're not, who cares? He probably
thinks you are anyway !!
Dog breath -- Charming !! He should be in the doghouse
if this is his pet name for you. Return the compliment -
serve him a dog food curry.
Farty pants -- He could be trying to tell you something about your
digestive system - otherwise he's just a big kid who prefers his
mates'
humour to you.
Slapper -- Great as a jokey term of affection. But if he
means it perhaps you should be more careful who you bring home at
night
- es pecially if you live together !!
Stupid cow -- The only farmyard animal you should accept the
likeness to
are duckie, lambikins and chickie. And you're not stupid, so put
him
out to graze. ...And behind your back.
My girlfriend -- He's honest, open and probably glad to have you
around.
The next thing you know he'll be using your name!!
The wife -- If you're married then he probably thinks he owns you.
If
you're not, he probably thinks you act like his wife, in which case,
he
thinks he owns you.
My other half -- You complete the set - he's only half a man without
you. But it may make you feel as though you are losing your identity
somewhere.
The missus -- See The Wife.
My partner -- He's right on. Probably likes eating tofu and hugging
trees.
My significant other -- He's even more right on.
Probably thinks it's cruel to eat tofu and that trees need their own
space.
'er indoors -- He probably thinks all you're good at is housework.
You
should get out a bit more - with your real friends !!
She who must be obeyed -- He thinks you're a nag, but probably
doesn't
lift a finger around the house.
Her nibs -- Affectionate term for an authoritarian. You insisted
that
he called you that. Didn't you ?
If you are a bloke reading this, then think again when
you are just about to call her a pet name. If you are a girl
reading
this, then don't take it too seriously, it's only a bit of fun :o)
Just give him a slap, that normally does the trick, hehehe. Even
better,
get that big wooden rolling pin out!!!
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/The Old Barn
http://silverandgoldandthee.com/Misc2/TheOldBarn.html
"MY HAPPINESS" CONNIE FRANCIS Via Carol
http://home.comcast.net/~singingman777/Happiness.htm
John w/ Dancing The Night Away
http://heavens-gates.com/50s/oldies/
Someday In Time
http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/Pages/somedayintime.htm
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Toilets In Space
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Kids Bowl Free
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Beaches In South Korea
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Parenting No-No's 2
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/parenting2.html
Parenting No-No's 3
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
LilyPond ... music notation for everyone
http://lilypond.org/web/
Check the availability of a username
http://namechk.com/
File Assasin
http://download.cnet.com/TSA/3000-2094_4-10639988.html
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We wanted to inform you today that you can now download a program
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Aww Animals 3
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Taking A Catnap
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Movie Links
Office B
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Polaroid
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Porky Pig
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Redneck 911 Call
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Redneck Crab Removal
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Hot Dog
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ytrf.htm
How To Blow Away A Deer
http://www.buffaloschips.com/5467.htm
How to get jail time for a speeding ticket
http://www.buffaloschips.com/65r7.htm
Hrbtno
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Ice fishing
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Accident Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bill and Tom are two Irishmen working at the local sawmill. One day
Bill
slips and his arm gets caught and severed by the big bench saw. Tom
quickly
puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Bill to the local
hospital.
Next day, Tom goes to the hospital and asks after Bill. The nurse
says, 'Oh
he's out in Rehab exercising'. Tom couldn't believe it, but here's
Bill out
the back exercising his now reattached arm. The very next day he's
back at
work in the saw mill.
Couple of days go by, and then Bill slips and severs his leg on
another
bloody big saw thing. So Tom puts the limb in a plastic bag and
rushes it
and Bill off to hospital.
Next day he calls in to see him and asks the nurse how he is.
The nurse replies, 'He's out in the Rehab again exercising. And sure
enough,
here's Bill out there doing some serious work on the treadmill.
And Bill comes back to work.
But, as usual, within a couple of days he has another accident and
severs
his head. Wearily Tom puts the head in a plastic bag and transports
it and
Bill to hospital.
Next day he goes in and asks the nurse how Bill is. The nurse breaks
down
and cries and says, 'He's dead.'
Tom is shocked, but not surprised. 'I suppose the saw finally did
him in.'
'No,' says the nurse, 'Some dopey bastard put his head in a plastic
bag and
he suffocated.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
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sexual organs
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Limerick Chips
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All over the bed we did roam
I swear from my mouth I did foam
I was just fit to pop
When we both had to stop..
As a voice said "Hey honey, I'm home!!"
~~
A squeamish young fellow named Brand
Thought caressing his penis was grand.
But he viewed with distaste
The gelatinous paste
That it left in the palm of his hand.
Janet Jackson
She had something to get off her chest
And decided to make a clean breast
We assure you that Janet
Did not mean it or plan it
She just happened to wind up undressed
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The rescue squad was called to the home of
an elderly couple for an apparent heart attack
the gentleman had. When the squad got there
is was too late and the man had died.
While consoling the wife one of the rescuers
noticed that the bed was a mess. He asked
the lady what symptoms the man had suffered
and if anything had precipitated the heart attack.
The lady replied, "Well, we were in the bed making
love and he started moaning, groaning, thrashing
about the bed, panting, and sweating. I thought
he was coming, but I guess he was going."
Randy
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1805
Rudyisms
From the Book of Rudy
I will protect my Family with my life.
I will protect my home and property with my life.
I will sleep on dad's bed.
I will camp out with dad and eat his nuts (cashews).
I will go with dad to the pub and tip a few brews.
I will watch football with dad.
I will play with Val until nine pm.
I will require tranquilizers when the weather turns bad.
I am the Alpha Male Dog.
I love my Sandi.
I will carry the cast iron skillet downstairs if it has food in it.
I will carry any dish, glass, whatever, but not break it, if it has
food in it.
I will swim in the lake.
I will play with the wood elves at night.
When I get old and before I die, I want to go to Katieworld.
This is all from my book... The book of Rudy
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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