Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I know that many of the herd have pets. We budget for food,
treats, medical care, licenses, toys, beds, and houses, the
same as we do for our own children and rightfully so because
on the average they cause us less problems and grief than our
children do. heh heh. We aren't generally budgeted for catastrophic
medical care for our pets though and as I told you before I have
one cat that I invested almost 600.00 in to have a broken
leg pinned and repaired. Even though it was right after I became
unemployed and the animal hated me, I never once considered
having Evita put to sleep because it was the daughter's cat and
even though injured it dragged itself into my bedroom and curled
up on a shelf of shirts because it knew it was safe there. Those
who are non-pet lovers will probably think me stupid and soft hearted
but I guess I am and I know many of you would do the same and
more for your animals.
Now to get to the point. I have a dear friend, Bobbie who lives in
San Diego that I have known for over 35 years. Bobbie is disabled
because of back and nerve injuries and has a service animal, a
Boxer mixed breed named Kaluah. Bobbie's daughter put the dog
in her pick-up and took her to the beach to run and when she came back
the dog had a limp which got worse and when they took her to the vet,
the diagnosis was a torn ACL ( anterior cruciate ligament) in one of
her knee joints.
http://www.peteducation.com/article.cfm?c=2+2084&aid
Bobbie contacted three vets in San Diego and the estimates for
surgery and recovery care were over were over 2800 dollars in
each case. She has contacted a variety of agencies for help
and the nearest teaching hospital is at UC Davis in Northern California
and they only accept animals from that part of the state. Other
emergency organizations with the downturn in the economy are
limiting aid to animals that only have 10 days or less to live if they
don't receive medical aid.
I know times are tough and many of you have trouble buying pet food
but if you can even afford 5 or 10 dollars, Kaluah's vet has set up an
account for her and I would appreciate it as a favor to myself if you
can
help.
Vet information is DR. HARDY
LIFETIME ANIMAL CARE CENTER
4941 - G CLAIREMONT SQUARE
SAN DIEGO, CA. 92117 858-274-1760
Please mark your donations for Kaluah and if you have any questions
or resources and would like to contact Bobbie, email me and I will
give you her email address.
Thank you in advance and I hope you are having a great weekend
and enjoy today's chips... buffalo
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Short Chips
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The meaning of lots of phrases depend on your location. A "Safe Cracker"
in New York is a person who opens a victim's safe without knowing the
combination. In Georgia it's an AIDS-free girl on the pill.
Bambi the blonde celebrated her 40th birthday with a makeover. She had
a tummy tuck, butt implants, botox, collagen... the works. Ten weeks
and thousands of dollars later, she was a new woman -- literally. Her
personal physician then performed her annual physical, noted the new
"body work." When the exam was finished, he called her in. "Bambi,
your overall health is good, but I want to discuss a problem that often
affects women your age: osteoporosis." Bambi looked puzzled.
"Osteo--what?" "Bone loss. Many women start to experience it in their
40s." Bambi giggled, blushed and said, "Oh, really, Doc. You've seen
me naked. Trust me, with this body and this face, I get new bones quite
often!"
Sheri and Rosey were were talking about the new hottie in the
neighborhood. But he acts so stupid said Sheri. I think he must have his
brains between his legs. Yeah, sighed Rosey, but I'd sure love to blow
his mind.
This college girl comes back to the dorm after spending all day hiking
in the wilderness with her boyfriend. After her shower she's toweling
off when her roommate notices her ass all bruised up black and blue.
"Good heavens! What happened to you? You're all bruised up." She
replied, "Well, you know how it goes, just got caught between a rock and
a hard-on."
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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
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Deaf Chips
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Two deaf people get married.
During the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to
communicate in the bedroom when they turn off the lights because they
can't
see each other using sign language.
After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife
decides to find a solution. "Honey," she signs, "Why don't we agree on
some
simple signals?
For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and
squeeze my left breast one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach
over
and squeeze my right breast one time.
"The husband thinks this is a great idea and signs back to his wife,
"Great idea, Now if you want to have sex with ME, reach over and pull on
my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and pull on
my penis ... fifty times"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The aging playboy should find some satisfaction in the knowledge that
though he's not as good as he once was, he's as good once as he once
was.
A big boss, Mr. X, in 2005, in order to keep a mistress, bought a house
in Shenzhen for her to live in, and gave her a monthly allowance of 5000
Yuan. The house cost him about 500,000 Yuans. He sold the house in 2010
for 3.2 million Yuans, after he broke off with his mistress. A quick
calculation: After 5 years of free fling with the woman, he has a net
gain of 2.4 million Yuans. When his wife found out about this, she was
very angry and gave him a big scolding: "Why the hell you just kept only
one mistress?!"
When I was a child, I accidentally saw my grandparents having sex. My
psychiatrist tells me that's why I'm afraid of prunes. (Jerry L. Embry)
Little Johnny catches his parents going at it. He says, "Hey Dad! What
are you doing?" His father says, "I'm filling your mother's tank."
Little Johnny says, "Yeah? Well, you should get a model that gets better
mileage. The milkman filled her this morning."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Cannibal Chips
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Ehe Englishman, the French guy and the American are exploring Africa,
when
they're attacked by cannibals. The cannibal chief says, 'Well, we're
gonna
eat your flesh and use your skin for canoes. Tough luck, eh? But you can
choose the way you're gonna die.'
The Englishman goes, 'May I have a revolver?'
When he ges it, he blows his brains out, saying, 'God save the queen!'
The French guy says, 'I vill take ze poison.'
He gulps it down and says, 'Vive le France!' and dies.
The American says, 'Gimme a fork!'
The chief hands him one, and the guy pokes himself all over his skin
with it, and shouts, 'That's what I think of your fucking canoe!'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Birthday Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My brother in law's sister is an RN at a Chicago hospital. One
evening, when she was on emergency room duty, a young man came
waddling into the room assisted by his young wife. "I want to speak
to the doctor,"
he says. "Could you tell me what the problem is?" replied the woman
behind the desk. "I want to speak to the doctor," he replies. His
wife begins to snicker. Eventually the doctor comes and gets the
story. The couple are newlyweds. It was her birthday. The man
decided to surprise her.
His plan was to insert a small birthday candle into his erect penis,
light it, and walk into the room singing "happy birthday to you."
Well, when he inserted the little candle, he coughed, and the candle
was pulled out of sight. The efforts of his panic only caused the
candle to go down further. The doctor had to sedate him with valium
and recruit several of the ER staff to assist in extracting the
candle. As the young woman assisted her wobbly husband out to the
car, the laughter from the ER could be heard for blocks.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Our Veterans
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/V/Trib.html
A Soldiers Last Judgement Via Juanita
http://www.byjoy.com/SoldiersLast.html
Carol w/Buster
http://www.carolspoetry.com/buster.html
~~Fun With Me~~
http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/Pages/fun_with_me.htm
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Surfin Surfari
Playing With Food 3!
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Fun With Nature!
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Proud Of Our Troops 4
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Humor With Our Troops 3
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/humor3.html
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Hello,
We wanted to inform you today that you can now download a program
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Kammie KuppyKaKe's Gif LinKs KolleKtion
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CCleaner - Crap Cleaner software download
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
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Kitty Korner
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Animal Moms!
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Hi,
We would like to show you why you may be "fat" and why you're unable
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First off, please always know that it's not your fault...
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After you see what the problem is, you will see how easy it is to
finally lose the fat that you want to lose.
Thank you!
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Movie Links
Taint
http://www.buffaloschips.com/vgffdesw.htm
Taint Taster
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Time to Leave Home
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Triceratits
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Un BarDame
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Taint
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Time to Leave Home
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Triceratits
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Un BarDame
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Court House Shooting Idiot
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sfserfs.htm
Cutest Plumber
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Deer Jumps Cycle
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Drag Race Slomo
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Dry Retriever
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sfew.htm
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Fourth Chips
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Last Fourth of July we invited all the family over for a big
barbecue. Dad was roasting a chicken on a grill but the electric
motor on the rotisserie quit working so Dad had to crank the spit by
hand.
He did a good job too as the chicken was turning a beautiful golden
brown all over, even though Dad was a little concerned that the
running juices were causing some the flames to spark occasionally and
singe the chicken a bit as he turned it.
It was about that time that Old Aunt Mabel whose eyesight was long
gone, and who wasn't quite as sharp as she used to be, shuffled over
to the grill. She observed Dad's actions for a moment and then said,
"I hate to be the one to tell you this, but not only is your music
box not making any music, but your monkey's on fire."
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Toon Chips
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burgers
http://www.buffaloschips.com/smgndfklghnfd.htm
bush
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bush and bush lite
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bush condoms
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bush and turkey
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Limerick Chips
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There was a young lady from Thrace,
Who's Corset she could no longer lace,
Her Mother said, "Nellie
There's more in your Belly,
Than ever went in through your face."
An astronomer slept in the sun,
Then woke with his fly quite undone.
He remarked, with a smile,
"Hoorah! A sundial!
And it's now a quarter past one."
A widow who lived in Rangoon
Hung a rather large wreath on her womb;
"It reminds me," she said
"Of my husband who's dead,
And how he got into his tomb."
Ross
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Parting Chips
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I Am So Broke!!!!
* I'm so broke me and my girlfriend got married for the rice.
* I'm so broke, if a trip around the world cost a nickel, I wouldn't
have enough to leave the couch!
* I'm so broke that I just went into McDonald's and put a small fry on
layaway.
* If pickles were 10 cents a truckload I couldn't buy a wart off a
cucumber!
* I'm so broke, just to rub two nickels together, I'd have to borrow
one.
* We were so broke, that at Christmas, all we could exchange was
glances.
* I'm so broke, the bank asked for their calendar back.
* I'm so broke, long distance companies don't even call me to switch!
If I stopped on a dime, I'd probably owe it to someone.
* I ain't broke, but I'm severely bent. Someone saw me kicking a can
down the street, and when asked what I was doing I said, "Moving.
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 2068
The 4th of July
Sandi tells the story of our National Anthem
Sandi: In 1812, the United States went to war with Great Britain,
primarily over
freedom of the seas. We were in the right. For two years, we held off
the
British, even though we were still a rather weak country. Great Britain
was in a life and death struggle with Napoleon. In fact, just as the
United States
declared war, Napoleon marched off to invade Russia. If he won, as
everyone
expected, he would control Europe, and Great Britain would be isolated.
It was no time for her to be involved in an American war.
At first, our seamen proved better than the British. After we won a
battle on
Lake Erie in 1813, the American commander, Oliver Hazard Perry, sent the
message, "We have met the enemy and they are ours." However, the weight
of the British navy eventually beat down our ships . New England,
hard-hit
by a tightening blockade, threatened secession.
Meanwhile, Napoleon was beaten in Russia and in 1814 was forced to
abdicate. Great Britain now turned its attention to the United States,
launching a three-pronged attack.
The northern prong was to come down Lake Champlain toward New York
and seize parts of New England.
The southern prong was to go up the Mississippi, take New Orleans and
paralyze the west.
The central prong was to head for the mid-Atlantic states and then
attack
Baltimore, the greatest port south of New York. If Baltimore was taken,
the
nation, which still hugged the Atlantic coast, could be split in two.
The fate
of the United States, then, rested to a large extent on the success or
failure
of the central prong.
The British reached the American coast, and on August 24, 1814, took
Washington, D.C. Then they moved up the Chesapeake Bay toward Baltimore.
On September 12, they arrived and found 1,000 men in Fort McHenry, whose
guns controlled the harbor. If the British wished to take Baltimore,
they would
have to take the fort.
On one of the British ships was William Beanes, an aged physician, who
had
been arrested in Maryland and brought along as a prisoner. Francis Scott
Key,
a lawyer and friend of the physician, had come to the ship to negotiate
his release.
The British commander said after they had supper if the Fort stood in
the
morning, they would exchange prisoners, but he thought that would be a
moot issue. Francis saw the British armada arrive and all he could see
from horizon to horizon was the British war fleet.
To be continued
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Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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