THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Every time I close the door on reality,
it comes in through the windows
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Things are back to normal for Turk the
dog, aka Carlos the rat. I took him out
on the fourth for last call about 9:45pm.
but the firecrackers, explosions,
and bottle rockets scared him out of taking
care of business. He made a beeline back inside
and curled up in his cage, cowering in the blankets
until this whole madness passed. When he
woke back up next morning on the 5th, he was back to his
normal self again. I didn't mind the fireworks
on the fourth, but I did not venture far from the recliner,
prefering instead to observe Boston's fireworks on the tube
rather than venturing out and about. Probably a good thing,
too, as the explosions outside and around the city were
definitely more than fireworks. At least two people were shot.
Spurts of gunfire can be exciting, but with lots of folks
milling around down town, it was good to be home safe.
Remember, you fire a shot in the air, it seems harmless,
but what goes up also comes down. You can
be a proud American without em. Leave the guns at home
on the next fourth of july.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
__________
THE COMICS
seriously
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n046.html
hiding
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n047.html
wedding pictures
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n048.html
smaller airports
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n049.html
the alien
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/n050.html
_____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
congratulations
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1137.html
elephants
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1138.html
_____________
POWER POINT DISPLAY
Africa
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd721.html
The Pope arrives in heaven, where St. Peter awaits
him. St. Peter asks who he is. The Pope replies,
"I am the Pope."
St. Peter: "Who? There's no such name in my book."
The Pope, "I'm the representative of God on Earth."
"Does God have a representative? He didn't tell me..."
St. Peter asked.
The Pope: "But I am the leader of the Catholic Church."
St. Peter: "The Catholic Church...Never heard of it...
Wait, I'll check with the Boss."
St. Peter walks away through Heaven's Gate to talk with God.
"There's a dude standing outside who claims he's your
representative on earth." God: "I don't have a representative
on earth, not that I know of... Wait, I'll ask Jesus."
(yells for Jesus)
Jesus: "Yes, Father, what's up?"
God and St. Peter explain the situation. Jesus said,
"Wait, I'll go outside and have a little chat with that fellow."
Ten minutes pass and Jesus re-enters the room laughing
out loud. After a few minutes, St. Peter asks Jesus why
he's laughing. Jesus said, "Remember that fishing club I
started 2000 years ago? It still exists!"
_______________
A husband and his wife agreed that anytime they want to
have sex, they will call it a 'Phone Call' so that the
kids will not decode. One day, the husband sent his son
to tell his mother that he wants to make a phone call.
Mother replies: "Tell your father that the Network is bad today."
Husband: "Tell your mother that if there is no Network
at home, I will go to the "Public Phone."
Wife sent back, "Tell your father that if he dares goes to a
Public Phone, then I will open a Call Center at home."
_____________
A little girl came running into the house crying her eyes out and
cradling her hand. "Mommy, quick! Get me a glass of cider!" she wailed.
"Why do you want a glass of cider?" asked mom.
"I cut my hand on a thorn, and I want the pain to go away."
Confused, but weary of the child's whining, the mother obliged and
poured her a glass of cider.
The little girl immediately dunked her hand in it.
"Ouch! It still hurts! This cider doesn't work!" whined the little one.
"What are you talking about?" asked her increasingly perplexed parent.
"I once overheard the babysitter say that whenever she gets a prick in
her hand, she can't wait to get it in cider!"
___________
A beautiful fairy appeared one day to a destitute Mexican
refugee outside an Arizona immigration office.
"Good man," the fairy said, "I've been sent here by President
Obama and told to grant you three wishes, since you just
arrived in the United States with your wife and eight children."
The man told the fairy, "Well, where I come from we don't have
good teeth, so I want new teeth, maybe a lot of gold in them."
The fairy looked at the man's almost toothless grin and --
PING! -- he had a brand-new shining set of gold teeth in his mouth!
"What else?" asked the fairy, "Two more to go."
The refugee claimant now got bolder. "I need a big house with
a three-car garage in Annapolis on the water with eight bedrooms
for my family and the rest of my relatives who still live
in my country.. I want to bring them all over here." ---
and -- PING!-- in the distance there could be seen a
beautiful mansion with a three-car garage, a long driveway,
and a walkout patio with a BBQ in an upscale neighborhood
overlooking the Chesapeake Bay. "One more wish," said the
fairy, waving her wand. "Yes, one more wish.
I want to be like an American with American clothes instead
of these torn clothes, and a baseball cap instead of this
sombrero. And I want to have white skin like Americans" --
and -- PING! -- The man was transformed, wearing worn-out
jeans, a Baltimore Orioles T-shirt and a baseball cap.
He had his bad teeth back and the mansion had disappeared
from the horizon. "What happened to my new teeth?"
he wailed. "Where is my new house?"
The fairy said, "Tough shit, Amigo, now that you are a
white American, you have to fend for yourself!"
BUFFALO BILL
Charming Black Man
http://www.buffaloschips.com/vm,v.htm
Cheaper Than Dating
http://www.buffaloschips.com/lkk.htm
Chicken
http://www.buffaloschips.com/khkjh.htm
THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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