[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For 7-31-11

 



Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

As you have requested here is August's list of Bizarre Holidays.
Face it not a lot to get excited about during August, it's hot,
vacation's over, so here are some reasons to crack open a Bud or for
example on the 3rd, go get a large traditional watermelon, chill and
fill with vodka and enjoy.

8/1 Friendship Day and National Raspberry Cream Pie Day
8/2 National Ice Cream Sandwich Day
8/3 National Watermelon Day
8/4 Twins Day Festival
8/5 National Mustard Day
8/6 Wiggle Your Toes Day
8/7 Sea Serpent Day
8/8 Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor's Porch Night
8/9 National Polka Festival
8/10 Lazy Day
8/11 Presidential Joke Day
8/12 Middle Child's Day
8/13 Blame Someone Else Day
8/14 National Creamsicle Day
8/15 National Relaxation Day and National Failures Day
8/16 Bratwurst Festival
8/17 National Thrift shop Day
8/18 Bad Poetry Day
8/19 Potato Day
8/20 National Radio Day
8/21 National Spumoni Day
8/22 Be An Angel Day
8/23 National Sponge cake Day
8/24 Knife Day
8/25 Kiss-And-Make-Up Day
8/26 National Cherry Popsicle Day
8/27 Petroleum Day
8/28 World Sauntering Day
8/29 More Herbs, Less Salt Day
8/30 National Toasted Marshmallow Day
8/31 National Trail Mix Day

Enjoy the chips.... buffalo

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Dumb Chips
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He was so dumb he broke into a church and stole ten thousand
dollars.... in pledges.

He was so dumb he couldn't count his dick twice and get the same
number.

If dumbass were a commodity, he would have the market cornered.

He was so dumb, his family tree was a shrub.

He was so dumb he thought a foul ball is what the players scratch
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He was so dumb that he scotch-taped chickens to his body
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you're dressed in layers.

I don't want to say that he's a "dim bulb," but you know how Thomas
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worked? He is NOT the one that worked.

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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

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Mountain Chips
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TOP TEN REJECTED TITLES FOR BROKE BACK MOUNTAIN

10. "Not-That-There's-Anything-Wrong-With-That Mountain"

9. "Wyatt Slurp"

8. "For A Few Dollars More We Can Make It A Threesome"

7. "Long Ranger"

6. "Go West Young Man..Now South...a Little More South..OH GOD YES
RIGHT THERE!"

5. "Bunanza"

4. "The Good, The Bad, and the Fabulous"

3. "Broke My Back Mounting Him"

2. "Fun With Dick In James"

1. "Oklahomo"

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Honeymoon Chips
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A fellow on his wedding night in the hotel says to his new wife. "My
God! I never realized you had such huge droopy breasts." The wife
has a major dummy spit and throws him out of the room. While he is
sitting in the hall another fellow comes out down the hall. "What
happened?" asks the first man.

"Well" replies the other "I first saw my new wife naked tonight, and
all I said was "Hells bells! I didn't realize you had such a big
fat droopy arse..." Then she threw me out.

Just then a third fellow comes storming out into the hall with a
face like thunder. "Hey" says the second fellow, "did you put your
foot in it as well?"

"No" says the third fellow, "But, shit! I bloody well could have!"

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Shotgun Chips
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Old Seth goes to the doctor to see about erection problems. "I'll
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and the tractor vibratin' gets it up! But by the time I can get
back to the house and maw gets ready, it's down--and I can't get it
back up. Can you give me somethin' to help keep it up?"

The doc says no, he can't. Age carries its price. But--perhaps
some signal could be arranged and maw would be prepared as paw
arrived at the house? Maybe maw could even meet him halfway?

"A great idea!" says Seth. "There's a little grove about halfway to
the house from where I'm plowin'. Me and maw used to have sex there
when we were younger! It'd be a great spot. I'll carry my shotgun
and when it's all up and hard, I'll fire it and she'll get there
same time as I do. Thanks doc!"

Time passes. The doctor meets Seth at the bank one morning and asks
how he's doing. Seth says he's okay. The doc asks how Seth's wife
is, and Seth says, "Poor maw, she's dead!"

"Sorry to hear that," says the doc. "How did she die?"

"Just run herself to death durin' the quail season," said Seth

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Movie Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Best Porn Movies of 2011

Womb Raider

Shaving Ryan's Privates

Driving Into Miss Daisy

Batman in Robin

Star Whores

Forest Rump

Edward Penishands

Gangbangs of New York

On Golden Blonde

Saturday Night Beaver

Sick Degrees of Penetration

Legally Boned

Throbbin' Hood

When Harry Ate Sally

Romancing The Bone

White Men Can't Hump

Pulp Friction

Swollow Hal

Breast Side Story

Buttman and Throbbin'

Rambone

Sperms of Enderarment

School of Cock

The Sperminator

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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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Subscribers and Friends

Melva~50's Music
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Mu/50/50s.html

carolyn w/Stand By Me~Elvis
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Marlene/Are You Troubled/Gospel
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God's Royal And Holy Priests
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Hummingbirds
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3rd World Bomb Squad
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ICTV
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Leno Photo Booth
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Texas Shootout
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The Interview
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Remote
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Rocket Man
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Rubber Man
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She's Got You
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Skeleton Dance
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Baseball Chips
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Three baseball fans were on their way to a game when one noticed
a foot sticking out of the bushes by the side of the road. They
stopped and discovered a nude female, drunk and passed out. Out of
respect for the lady, the Cubs fan took off his cap and placed it
over her right breast. The Red Sox fan took off his cap and placed
it over her left breast. Following their lead, the Yankee fan took
off his cap and placed it over her crotch.

The police were called and when the officer arrived, he conducted
his inspection. First, he lifted up the Cubs cap, replaced it, and
wrote down some notes. Next, he lifted the Sox cap, replaced it,
and wrote down some more notes. The officer then lifted the Yankees
cap, replaced it, then lifted it again, replaced it, lifted it a
third time, and replaced it one last time.

The Yankee fan was getting upset and finally asked, "What are you,
a pervert or something? Why do you keep lifting and looking, lifting
and looking?"

"Well," said the officer. "I am simply surprised. Normally when I
look under a Yankees hat, I find an asshole."

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Toon Chips
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ceremony
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Limerick Chips
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Young Alice is known for her poise
During quiet foreplay with the boys.
But then when she has 'em
At the brink of orgasm,
You can't hear yourself think for the noise.

One day as I fished on the sea
A mermaid came visiting me
Though just right on top
T'other end was a flop
With no parts to show she was a she.
~~~~~~

There was a young lady named May,
Took a stroll in the park by the bay.
She met a young man,
Who screwed her and ran.
Now she goes to the park everyday.
~~~~~~

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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A priest, in complete violation of his celibacy wows, makes amorous
advances to a nun who, at first, rejects his proposals saying it's a
sin, but finally relents and the two end up in bed together.

After making love, the nun says, "Since you are a priest, I would like
you to hear my confession. I have sinned. Twice."

The priest says, "What do you mean, 'twice'? We only did it once."

The nun: "You're going to do it again, aren't you?"

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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Just because I am taking a break from the Katie Kolumn doesn't mean I am
not writing..see below

~ Welcome to Petwarmers ~

http://www.petwarmers.com

ONCE IN A LIFETIME DOGGIE

by BJ Cassady

I am 66 years old and have had many dogs of many breeds, but mostly
mutts. I have enjoyed great two-way love with my dogs. A few stand out
above the rest, but one stands head and shoulders above all -- Sandi, a
Collie-Retriever mix.

How can one describe the most perfect love, devotion, loyalty?

I live in the country and had quite a few problems with moles.
Sandi has taken care of that quite nicely. She has decided no animals
will enter her domain and threaten her master.

Yet, I have taken her to nursing homes where she has comforted the
aged and sick.

Sandi always sleeps with me, her head on my pillow, sleeping north
and south as close as she can. When I am home, she is always right by
me, never far from me. If I have a scratch, or an "owie," she knows it
and it pains her and she will do what she can to comfort me.

The best compliment came from our vet in Guthrie when he said she
is a once-in-a-lifetime dog.

I responded, "Yes she is the best I have ever had."

He said, "You don't understand. In our years here, she is the best
dog we have seen. She is a true once-in-a-lifetime dog. We are talking
about her being faithful, loyal and everything a dog could and should be
to you. She obeys you perfectly by hand and voice."

"I never trained her," I responded. "She just did it."

I used Sandi in a sermon at a nursing home and I talked about
obeying God and listening to Him. I mentioned if we could only obey and
listen to God as well as my dog obeys and listens to me... And then I
called Sandi, who was sitting with my wife. Sandi walked down the aisle
and then laid down at my feet.

The audience gasped.

I concluded with, "I hope I can be as faithful as my dog when the
time comes and be a once-in-a-lifetime person for God.

-- BJ Cassady <bj.cassady at af-group.com>

Thanks.

Paw Prints is in Lifestyle, Sunday Fort Dodge (IA) Messenger, Storm
Lake Pilot Tribune, and Cherokee Chonicle Times.

Pauline

BJ, I write a weekly newspaper column, Paw Prints, on responsible pet
care, and like to occasionally include an inspirational piece. I would
like to use your article, with your credit line, of course. Hope to
hear from you with your consent.

Blessings,

Pauline Larsen

Paw Prints

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adult Adult

*********************************************

Remember 9/11/01

Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list

In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

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Recent Activity:
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
.

__,_._,___

Funzines - Clean Cartoons for August 1, 2011

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Funzine - Adult Cartoons for August 1, 2011

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For 7-30-11

 



Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

Another Navy story for you

From Kansas Farmer - I received this interesting story from a friend.
----------------------------------------------------------

A BIT OF HISTORY THAT YOU MAY NOT KNOW

From November 1943, until her demise in June 1945, the American
destroyer 'William D. Porter' was often hailed - whenever she entered
port or joined other Naval ships - with the greetings: "Don't shoot,
we're Republicans!'

For a half a century, the US Navy kept a lid on the details of the
incident that prompted this salutation. A Miami news reporter made the
first public disclosure in 1958 after he stumbled upon the truth while
covering a reunion of the destroyer's crew. The Pentagon reluctantly and
tersely confirmed his story, but only a smattering of newspapers took
notice.

In 1943, the Willie D as the Porter was nicknamed, accidentally fired a
live torpedo at the battleship Iowa during a practice exercise. As if
this weren't bad enough, the Iowa was carrying President Franklin D.
Roosevelt at the time, along with Secretary of State, Cordell Hull, and
all of the country's W.W.II military brass. They were headed for the Big
Three Conference in Tehran , where Roosevelt was to meet Stalin and
Churchill. Had the Porter's torpedo struck the Iowa at the aiming
point,the last 60 years of world history might have been quite
different.

The USS William D Porter (DD-579) was one of hundreds of assembly line
destroyers built during the war. They mounted several heavy and light
guns, but their main armament consisted of 10 fast-running and accurate
torpedoes that carried 500-pound warheads. This destroyer was placed in
commission on July 1943 under the command of Wilfred Walker, a man on
the Navy's fast career track.

In the months before she was detailed to accompany the Iowa across the
Atlantic in November 1943, the Porter and her crew learned their
trade,experiencing the normal problems that always beset a new ship and
a novice crew.

The mishaps grew more serious when she became an escort for the pride of
the fleet, the big new battleship Iowa .

The night before they left Norfolk, bound for North Africa, the Porter
accidentally damaged a nearby sister ship when she backed down along the
other ship's side and her anchor tore down the other ship's railings,
life rafts, ship's boat and various other formerly valuable pieces of
equipment. The Willie D merely had a scraped anchor, but her career of
mayhem and mishaps had begun.

Just twenty four hours later, the four-ship convoy, consisting of Iowa
and her secret passengers, the Willie D, and two other destroyers, was
under strict instructions to maintain complete radio silence. Since they
were going through a known U-boat feeding ground, speed and silence were
the best defense.

Suddenly, a tremendous explosion rocked the convoy. All of the ships
commenced anti-submarine maneuvers. This continued until the Porter
sheepishly admitted that one of her depth charges had fallen off her
stern and exploded. The 'safety' had not been set as instructed.

Captain Walker was watching his fast track career become side-tracked.

Shortly thereafter, a freak wave inundated the ship, stripping away
everything that wasn't lashed down. A man washed overboard and was never
found.

Next, the fire room lost power in one of its boilers.

The Captain, at this point, was making reports almost hourly to the Iowa
about the Willie D's difficulties. It would have been merciful if the
force commander had detached the hard luck ship and sent her back to
Norfolk . But, no, she sailed on.

The morning of 14 November 1943 dawned with a moderate sea and pleasant
weather. The Iowa and her escorts were just east of Bermuda , and the
president and his guests wanted to see how the big ship could defend
herself against an air attack. So, the Iowa launched a number of weather
balloons to use as anti-aircraft targets. It was exciting to see more
than 100 guns shooting at the balloons, and the President was proud of
his Navy.

Just as proud was Admiral Ernest J King, the Chief of Naval Operations;
large in size and by demeanor, a true monarch of the sea.

Disagreeing with him meant the end of a naval career. Up to this time,
no one knew what firing a torpedo at him would mean.

Over on the Willie D, Captain Walker watched the fireworks display with
admiration and envy.

Thinking about career redemption and breaking the hard luck spell, the
Captain sent his impatient crew to battle stations.

They began to shoot down the balloons the Iowa had missed as they
drifted into the Porter's vicinity.

Down on the torpedo mounts, the crew watched, waiting to take some
practice shots of their own on the big battleship, which, even though
6,000 yards away, seemed to blot out the horizon. Lawton Dawson and Tony
Fazio were among those responsible for the torpedoes. Part of their job
involved ensuring that the primers were installed during actual combat
and removed during practice. Once a primer was installed, on a command
to fire, it would explode shooting the torpedo out of its tube.

Dawson , on this particular morning, unfortunately had forgotten to
remove the primer from torpedo tube #3. Up on the bridge, a new torpedo
officer, unaware of the danger, ordered a simulated firing. "Fire 1,
Fire 2," and finally, "Fire 3." There was no Fire 4 as the sequence was
interrupted by an unmistakable whooooooshhhhing sound made by a
successfully launched and armed torpedo. Lt H. Steward Lewis, who
witnessed the entire event, later described the next few minutes as what
hell would look like if it ever broke loose.

Just after he saw the torpedo hit water on its way to the Iowa and some
of the most prominent figures in world history, Lewis innocently asked
the Captain, 'Did you give permission to fire a torpedo?' Captain
Walker's reply will not ring down through naval history... although
words to the effect of Farragut's immortal 'Damn the torpedoes' figured
centrally within.

Initially there was some reluctance to admit what had happened, or even
to warn the Iowa . As the awful reality sunk in, people began racing
around, shouting conflicting instructions and attempting to warn the
flagship of imminent danger.

First, there was a flashing light warning about the torpedo which
unfortunately indicated the torpedo was headed in another direction.

Next, the Porter signaled that the torpedo was going reverse at full
speed!

Finally, they decided to break the strictly enforced radio silence.

The radio operator on the destroyer transmitted "'Lion (code for the
Iowa ), Lion, come right." The Iowa operator, more concerned about radio
procedure, requested that the offending station identify itself first.

Finally, the message was received and the Iowa began turning to avoid
the speeding torpedo.

Meanwhile, on the Iowa 's bridge, word of the torpedo firing had reached
FDR, who asked that his wheelchair be moved to the railing so he could
see better what was coming his way. His loyal Secret Service guard
immediately drew his pistol as if he was going to shoot the torpedo. As
the Iowa began evasive maneuvers, all of her guns were trained on the
William D. Porter. There was now some thought that the Porter was part
of an assassination plot.

Within moments of the warning, there was a tremendous explosion just
behind the battleship. The torpedo had been detonated by the wash kicked
up by the battleship's increased speed.

The crisis was over and so was Captain Walker's career. His final
utterance to the Iowa , in response to a question about the origin of
the torpedo, was a weak, "We did it."

Shortly thereafter, the brand new destroyer, her Captain and the entire
crew were placed under arrest and sent to Bermuda for trial. It was
thefirst time that a complete ship's company had been arrested in the
history of the US Navy.

The ship was surrounded by Marines when it docked in Bermuda , and held
there several days as the closed session inquiry attempted to determine
what had happened.

Torpedoman Dawson eventually confessed to having inadvertently left the
primer in the torpedo tube, which caused the launching.

Dawson had thrown the used primer over the side to conceal his mistake.

The whole incident was chalked up to an unfortunate set of circumstances
and placed under a cloak of secrecy.

Someone had to be punished. Captain Walker and several other Porter
officers and sailors eventually found themselves in obscure shore
assignments. Dawson was sentenced to 14 years hard labor.

President Roosevelt intervened; however, asking that no punishment be
meted out for what was clearly an accident.

The destroyer William D. Porter was banished to the upper Aleutians . It
was probably thought this was as safe a place as any for the ship and
anyone who came near her.

She remained in the frozen north for almost a year, until late 1944,
when she was re-assigned to the Western Pacific.

However,before leaving the Aleutians , she accidentally left her calling
card in the form of a five-inch shell fired into the front yard of the
American Base Commander, thus rearranging his flower garden rather
suddenly.

In December, 1944, the Porter joined the Philippine invasion forces and
acquitted herself quite well. She distinguished herself by shooting down
a number of attacking Japanese aircraft. Regrettably, after the war, it
was reported that she also shot down three American planes. This was a
common event on ships, as many gunners, fearful of kamikazes, had
nervous trigger fingers.

In April, 1945, the destroyer Porter was assigned to support the
invasion of Okinawa . By this time, the greeting "Don't Shoot, We're
Republicans" was commonplace and the crew of the Willie D had become
used to the ribbing.

But the crew of her sister ship, the USS Luce, was not so polite in its
salutations after the Porter accidentally riddled her side and
superstructure with gunfire.

On 10 June, 1945, the Porter's hard luck finally ran out. She was sunk
by a plane which had (unintentionally)attacked it from underwater.

A Japanese bomber made almost entirely of wood and canvas slipped
through the Navy's defense.

Having little in the way of metal surfaces, the plane didn't register on
radar. A fully loaded kamikaze, it was headed for a ship near the
Porter, but just at the last moment veered away and crashed along side
the unlucky destroyer. There was a sigh of relief as the plane sunk out
of sight, but then it blew up underneath the Porter, opening her hull in
the worst possible place.

Three hours later, after the last man was off board, the Captain jumped
to the safety of a rescue vessel and the ship that almost changed world
history slipped astern into 2,400 feet of water.

Not a single soul was lost in the sinking. After everything else that
happened, it was almost as if the ship decided to let her crew off at
the end.

Kit Bonner, Naval Historian

Enjoy the chips... buffalo

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Relation Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To all those who can relate and to those who will in some day relate.

1. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and
still not know what time it is.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when
you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap
when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm
pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you
how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of
tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a
moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do
anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue
Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and
it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page
technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I
know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given
Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite
than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between
boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you
just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand
a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars
team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay
strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never
get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating
their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and
Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find
and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7
seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

Prairie Lady

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Driving Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right
thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten
the red light by accelerating through the intersection. The
tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in
frustration, as she missed her chance to get through the
intersection, dropping her cell phone and makeup.

As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and
looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer
ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the
police station where she was searched, fingerprinted, photographed,
and placed in a holding cell.

After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened
the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the
arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects. He said,
''I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your
car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front
of you and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'What Would
Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the
'Follow Me to Sunday-School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated
Christian fish emblem on the trunk, so naturally I assumed you had
stolen the car.''

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

EasyFeet - Cleans and Massages Your Feet From Heel to Toe

View this email on a mobile device.

Easy Feet is the revolutionary way to clean and massage your feet from
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feet.

Get a second one on us when you order yours today.

Learn More

http://buffaloschips.com/ezft

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Penny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One day, a teacher in a high school class was administering a test,
and she noticed that four pupils were missing.

The first one came in.

"Why are you so late?" the teacher said to him.

"Sorry, miss," he said. "I've been up Penny Lane."

She told him to go sit down.

Then the second pupil came in.

"Why are you so late?" she said to him.

"Sorry miss," he said. "I've been up Penny Lane."

She told him to go sit down.

Then the third one came in.

"Why are you so late?" she said to him.

"Sorry miss," he said. "I've been up Penny Lane."

She told him to go sit down.

Finally, the fourth pupil, a girl, came in.

"I suppose you've been up Penny Lane, too, then?"

"No, miss," she said to the teacher. "I am Penny Lane"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The myZone Headphone system lets you listen to TV at the volume you want
without disturbing others. These wireless headphones work on all TVs and
installs in seconds. myZone Headphones give you movie theater surround
sound and cancels out noise so you can hear every word.
Limited time offer so act now.

Click the link below for more information:

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Drug Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

New Medications for Women

St. Mom's Wort
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by
rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to
six hours.

E m p t y N e s t r o g e n
Highly effective suppository that eliminates
melancholy by enhancing the memory of how
awful they were as teenagers and how you
couldn't wait till they moved out.

P e p t o b i m b o
Liquid silicone for single women. Two full
cups swallowed before an evening out
increases breast size, decreases intelligence,
and improves flirting.

D u m e r o l
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause
dangerously low I.Q., causing enjoyment
of country western music.

F l i p i t o r
Increases life expectancy of commuters by
controlling road rage and the urge to flip
off other drivers.

A n t i b o y o t i c s
When administered to teenage girls, is
highly effective in improving grades,
freeing up phone lines, and reducing
money spent on make-up.

M e n i c i l l i n
Potent anti boyotic for older women.
Increases resistance to such lines as,
"You make me want to be a better
person ... can we get naked now?"

B u y a g r a
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping.
Increases potency and duration of spending
spree.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Dog-e-Minder" - Your Dog's New Best Friend!

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If you own a Dog, this product will change your life!!

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* It's so simple even a child can use it
* Simply hold the corresponding button down for three seconds and
your new task is recorded

Act now... This product, which can also be used as a training aid for
housebreaking your new puppy, is perfect for busy dog owners, multi-dog
homes, dog sitters and aging dogs requiring medication!

TO ORDER NOW,

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hair Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Squirrel Bait meets a girl on the street. He says, "Come on, babe,
let's go in the alleyway and get it on. I've got fifteen bucks."

She says, "FIFTEEN bucks? You're crazy. For fifteen bucks, I'll
let you LOOK at it."

They go into the alleyway, she pulls down her pants, and he gets
down on his knees. But he can't see anything, because it's too
dark, so he gets out his lighter.

He lights his lighter, and he says, "My God, your pubic hair...
it's so curly and thick... it's BEAUTIFUL."

She says, "Thank you."

He says, "You mind if I ask you a personal question?"

She says, "Go ahead."

He says, "Can you pee through all that hair?"

She says, "Of course."

He says, "Well, you better start. You're on fire.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Learn More

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends

Melva/Angels Whispering
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Misc_files/Wh.html

Poems
http://ministry-webs.com/ministry/brotherbob/index.html

Marlene/Bouquet in Heaven/Gospel Page
http://www.wtv-zone.com/summerhoosier3/html2/BouquetInHeaven.html

John w/ Come On In (And Make Yourself At Home)
http://heavensgates.us/patsy/comeonin/

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

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Surfin Surfari

Primary Games
http://www.primarygames.com/

Aesop's Fables
http://www.pacificnet.net/~johnr/aesop/aesophca.html

Amazing Air Cars
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/aircars.html

VOLKNER MOBIL RV!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/rv.html

Help transcribe Egyptian 'gossip'
http://goo.gl/dJlpH

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Hi,

We would like to show you why you may be "fat" and why you're unable
to lose weight no matter how hard you try.

First off, please always know that it's not your fault...

Press here to see why you're fat:

http://buffaloschips.com/fat

After you see what the problem is, you will see how easy it is to
finally lose the fat that you want to lose.

Thank you!

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)

Online Dictionary with Pictures
http://blachan.com/shahi/

Find Websites that Belong to the Same Owner http://spyonweb.com/

FREE SOFTWARE ! All Kinds !
http://www.spacejock.com/

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

We would like to know if you would be interested in working from
home in your spare time writing short articles for us. You will be
paid $25.00 - $45.00 per hour writing these articles.

We will also pay you $12.00 - $50.00 per hour for posing in blogs,
and up to $450 for each fiction or non fiction story we ask you to
write.

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All my best,

Freelance Home Writers Network

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Animal World

Exceptionally Cute and Cuddly Baby Animal Photos
http://tinyurl.com/y9ycmun

Amazing Dog Houses 2!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/doghouses2.html

Kitty Korner
http://www.richeast.org/htwm/cats/Cats.html

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Hello,

We wanted to inform you today that you can now download a program
online that will allow you to watch unlimited television from around
the world right on your PC!

Press Here to watch TV from around the world on your PC:

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*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Movie Links

2 Roosters
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdfes.htm

36 Hour Cialis
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dsfsde.htm

3 Condoms Please
http://www.buffaloschips.com/fdsfse.htm

5
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dfg.htm

Pigeon
http://www.buffaloschips.com/qwda.htm

Ping Pong
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jlkfd.htm

Ping
http://www.buffaloschips.com/fjdks.htm

Piscina
http://www.buffaloschips.com/fgdw.htm

Rabbit VS Snake
http://www.buffaloschips.com/asdasc.htm

Rally Flip
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dasms.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alcohol Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Alcohol, First & foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan
of yours. My friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The
perfect post-work cocktail, a beer with the game, & you're even
around in the holidays hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when
we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. Yet lately
I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe
that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence
has led to some unwise consequences, briefed below for your review.

1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is
important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of
substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make
me call those ex-boyfriends / girlfriends when I know for a fact
they do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours
of the night?

2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal but why do you suggest
that I eat a kabob with chili sauce, along with a big Italian hoagie
& some stale chips (washed down with chocolate Nesquik & topped off
with a Kit Kat all after a few cheese curls & chili cheese fries)?
Eclectic eater I am, but I think you went too far this time.

3. Clumsiness: Unless you're subtly trying to tell me that I need
to do more yoga to improve my balance, I see NO need to hammer the
issue home by causing me to fall down, it's completely unnecessary.
The black & blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the next
day is beyond me. Similarly, it should never take me more than 45
seconds to get the front door key into the lock.

4. Pictures: This can be a blessing in disguise, as it can often
clarify the last point below, but the following costumes are banned
from ever being placed on my head in public again: Indian wigs,
sombreros, bows, ties, boxes, upside-down cups, inflatable balloon
animals, traffic cones, or bras. Also, what is with you making me
take pictures with people I clearly don't like when I'm sober. Yet
they suddenly become my best friends when a flash is presented?

5. Beer Goggles: If I think I may know him/her from somewhere, I
most likely do not. Please do not request that I go over & see if
in fact,I do actually know that person. The phrase "Let's Fu*k" is
illegal from now on. While I may be thinking this, please reinstate
the brain-to-mouth-block that would stop this thought from becoming
a statement, especially in public. Please stop me from talking to
the guy/girl with the crooked teeth; acned-up face; bad breath, beer
belly, etc. Why are they so appealing to me while I'm with you &
why are they so disgusting to me the next morning after you have
worn off??

6. Furthermore: The hangovers have GOT to stop. This is getting
ridiculous. I know a little penance for our previous evening's
debauchery may be in order, but the 3 p.m -hangover immobility is
completely unacceptable. My entire day is shot. I ask that, if the
proper precautions are taken (water, vitamin B, bread products,
aspirin)
prior to going to bed/passing out facedown on the kitchen floor with
a bag of popcorn, the hangover should be minimal & in no way
interfere with my daily Saturday or Sunday (or any day for that
matter)
activities.

Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now & would
like to ensure that we remain on good terms. You've been the
invoker of great stories, the provocation for much laughter, and the
needed companion when I just don't know what to do with the extra
money in my pockets. In order to continue this friendship, I ask
that you carefully review my grievances above & address them
immediately. I will look for an answer no later than Thursday
3pm(pre-happy hour) on your possible solutions & hopefully we can
continue this fruitful partnership.

Thank you from your biggest fan.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ceremony
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jghdkgjdfg.htm

champagne
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kbjkcvbvck,b.htm

charm toon
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kjfkljlkg.htm

charmin
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jhkljfgklg.htm

cheap
http://www.buffaloschips.com/knflkd.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eggies - As Seen On TV!

Finally, you can enjoy hard boiled eggs without peeling a single shell -
just crack, cook and twist!

The Eggies system is convenient, making it perfect for working
professionals, stay-at-home moms,
babysitters and grandparents.

Order 1 Eggies system now and receive a 2nd set free (just pay
additional P&H), plus get 2 free egg slicers.

http://buffaloschips.com/eggies

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A sailor went off on the sea
To escape from a Bride-wanna-be;
But she jumped in her dingy
'Cause she missed his thingy -
She caught him and then there were three!

I held back my shit for a week,
Then cut me a slathering freak.
That glorious flatus;
That cheesy mutatus!
The neighbours now frown and don't speak.

It's really not the size of your tool
That makes girls i know swoon and drool
I will not deny it
It's how you apply it
Inside of my own precious jewel

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Magic Mesh door cover instantly opens and magically snaps closed behind
you using 18 strategically placed magnets.

Whether you have your hands full or a forgetful family member you can
still let fresh air in and keep those bugs out.

Buy one, get one free! $19.95 - just pay additional $7.95 P&H.

http://buffaloschips.com/magmes

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The teacher was telling the kids about the birds and the bees. She
explained that when a man and a woman meet and fall in love, nine months
later, the stork usually brings them a little baby from its nest. Little
Johnny -- at the back of the class -- put his hand up and asks the
teacher, "Are you sure about the stork, miss? I think you're getting
your birds mixed up. "My big sister just got a little baby and she said
it came from a black pecker at the beach!!!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Comfy Control

Comfy Control Harness is a new humane harness that's lightweight and
easily adjustable. It's special design allows for maximum comfort and
safety every time you walk your dog. Comfy Control Harness is designed
to move the pressure away from your dog's neck and on to the shoulders
and back. It will not constrict your dog's breathing so it's perfect for
dogs with short snouts or breathing problems. NO buckles and NO awkward
adjusting! Available in sizes: small, medium, large, and extra-large.

Custom adjusts in seconds
Easy clip on matching 5 foot leash
Open weave design allows air flow
Doesn't constrict breathing
Stylish vest slips right on

TO ORDER
http://buffaloschips.com/comfy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adult Adult

*********************************************

Remember 9/11/01

Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list

In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

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Recent Activity:
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
MARKETPLACE

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__,_._,___

[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For 7-29-11

 



Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

From the Archives

Mark wrote, Have you ever seen the Tonkin gulf sea bat?

buffalo says We had a couple of " Old Salts " that did a real
good presentation of the Sea Bat. They had a box with the
top folded closed and in it was a couple of small cans of
beans and wieners from the Geedunk. They would wait till
the berthing compartment was closed after lunch for field
day and have the victims sent there one at a time. There
would be some people in a circle around the guy with the
box which supposedly contained a freshly caught Sea Bat.
He would shake the box causing the cans to bang against
the box like a wild animal, trying to claw its way out. He
would set the box on the floor and ask the mark if he
wanted too see the bat. Amidst warnings that the bat was
quick and vicious the mark bent over to lift the lid of the box
and someone behind him would hit him in the butt with a
broom or a mop..

As for myself, I may have seen it in a movie or read about
it in a book but it was just so obvious what the outcome was
supposed to be and I called them on it and then sat around and
watched as they pulled it on another half dozen people. I
did do my share of stupid things in the Navy but the Sea Bat
was not one of them.

buffalo says My back is out again, caused by the fan in my bedroom and
sudden weather changes.

I also want to state my total disapproval of the actions of our
President and
Congress. They continue to bicker about what is best for their party and
their
special interests and not what is best for the Country. Lower taxes and
lower
interest rates are not generating more jobs and robbing the military and
retirees
is not the answer

If they cannot come up with a decision by Tuesday to avert default and
set us
back on a course of responsible spending, I think the 2012 election
should
be time for us to replace all incumbents. Sure the rookies will make
some
mistakes but they won't be as resistant to change.

Enjoy the chips ... buffalo

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Body Back Buddy - Treat Hard-to-Reach Sore Muscles Quickly and
Effectively

Stimulate and relax your muscles with this lightweight, durable, natural
"S" shape design. The Body Back Buddy features 11 therapy knobs, sure to
make you feel better in seconds. It stimulates in between muscles and
pinpoints trigger points for a more finely-tuned treatment. Best of all,
this trigger point massager has been engineered to be lightweight,
strong and simple to use.

Learn More

http://buffaloschips.com/bobabu

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Question Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Questions Answered

The Challenge in the London Globe and Mail was to provide a
question; then the answer defined by the question. Here are some of
the better entries submitted.

Q ~ How do you feel about hyperbole?
A ~ Super fantastic!

Q ~ So you think God is a paradox?
A ~ Well, he is and he isn't.

Q ~ What is a distraction?
A ~ A distraction is..oh look! A bird.

Q ~ What does paranoid mean?
A ~ Why do you ask? Say, who sent you anyway?

Q ~ What does a dominatrix do for a living?
A ~ Beats me.

Q ~ What does condescending mean?
A ~ Sit down and I'll explain it to you in simple terms you can
understand.

Q ~ What's a novel?
A ~ Well, you see, it's kind of a long story.

Q ~ What is perception?
A ~ What's it to you?

Q ~ Is that a cul-de-sac?
A ~ No way.

Q ~ Do you ever wonder what eternity means?
A ~ All the time.

Q ~ Are you an agnostic?
A ~ I don't believe so.

Q ~ What does ambiguous mean?
A ~ Could mean anything, I guess.

Q ~ Do you worship regularly?
A ~ Yes. Religiously

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

the penis and the brain
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/o031x.html

Ewwe
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/o032x.html

sex
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/o033.html

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pregnant Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pregnancy Dictionary

Afterbirth
When the hard part begins.

Cravings
An excuse to gluttonize your way through pregnancy.

Dilation
One of those things a pregnant woman has to take her doctor's
word for.

Elastiphobia
Fear of making it into the Guinness Book of World Records for
"Most Stretch Marks."

First Trimester
The first three months of pregnancy when you wonder, "Is it
too late to hire a surrogate mother?"

Maternity Clothes
What a pregnant woman wears to show people there's a reason
she's fat.

Miracle
1. The birth of a baby.
2. The fact that you lived to tell about it.

Obstetrician
The doctor who tells you you're doing fine when you think
you're caught in the jaws of death.

Pregnant Pause
The amount of time it takes for a nine-month pregnant woman
to get out of a chair.

Prenatal
When your life was still your own.

Pushing
The final effort to get a ten-pound baby through an opening
the size of a dime.

Second Trimester
The time when you ask the question, "Will my husband notice if I
eat this gallon of ice cream and side of beef before he gets home?"

Third Trimester
The final months of pregnancy when you wonder, "How much
longer can I keep from waddling?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

EasyFeet - Cleans and Massages Your Feet From Heel to Toe

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Get a second one on us when you order yours today.

Learn More

http://buffaloschips.com/ezft

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bull Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A salesman's car breaks down, so he asks a farmer
to let him spend the night, and the farmer agrees.
In the middle of the night, the salesman wakes up
and is really thirsty, so he decides to go to the barn
and get some milk from a cow.

Soon, the farmer hears noises coming from the barn
and goes to investigate. He then sees the salesman
coming out of the barn soaking wet and with a white
liquid dripping down his face. The farmer asks, "What
happened to you?"

The salesman says, "I just got thirsty, so I milked your
cow. It was so dark in there I don't know how I did it.
But I'm telling you, that cow has great milk! I must have
drank a gallon of it!"

The farmer then stares at him with a puzzled look and
says, "But we don't have a cow. We just have the bull..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The myZone Headphone system lets you listen to TV at the volume you want
without disturbing others. These wireless headphones work on all TVs and
installs in seconds. myZone Headphones give you movie theater surround
sound and cancels out noise so you can hear every word.
Limited time offer so act now.

Click the link below for more information:

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Summer Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was the first day of the school year, and an elementary teacher
was trying to get to know her students.

"What did you do this summer?" the teacher asked Suzie.

"Me and my family went to the beach a lot," Suzie answered.

"That sounds like fun," said the teacher. "How about you, Emma?
What did you do this summer?"

"Me and my family rode our bikes together."

"That sounds lovely," said the teacher. She continued with all her
pupils until she got to shy Mikey in the corner of the room.

"What did you do this summer, Mikey?"

"Nothing," the boy responded timidly.

"Did you do anything with your family?" the teacher asked, try to
draw Mikey out.

"Yes."

"Did you go to the beach?"

"No."

"Did you ride bikes?"

"No, never!" the boy burst out. "We can never ride bikes together!"

"Why not?" said the shocked teacher.

"I don't know," explained Mikey, "but dad always said, when mom and
sis start 'cycling together', it's time to get the hell out of
town."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Dog-e-Minder" - Your Dog's New Best Friend!

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If you own a Dog, this product will change your life!!

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- When your Dog was last walked
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- When your Dog last received medication

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* Easy-to-use device with handy backlight for easy visibility
* It's so simple even a child can use it
* Simply hold the corresponding button down for three seconds and
your new task is recorded

Act now... This product, which can also be used as a training aid for
housebreaking your new puppy, is perfect for busy dog owners, multi-dog
homes, dog sitters and aging dogs requiring medication!

TO ORDER NOW,

http://buffaloschips.com/ppa

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Retired Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Upon reaching 65, I decided to retire. After having me under
foot for a few months, my wife became very agitated with me. She
suggested I go and do something to occupy my time, like join a club
or
get a hobby. I obliged and went out for a couple of hours.

When I got home my wife asked about my day and I replied, "Oh, I
just
went down to the park and hung out with the guys. And oh yeah,
I joined a parachute club.

"What? Are you nuts? You're 65 years old and you're going to
start jumping out of airplanes?"

"Yeah, look I even got a membership card."

"You crazy old coot, where's your glasses! This is a membership to
a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club!"

"Oh, great! Now what am I going to do? I signed up for 5 jumps
a week!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Perfect Meatloaf Cooking Set for a Juicy, Tender Meatloaf

Get a tender and juicy meatloaf every time. It's simple - just bake,
lift and serve. You get everything you need to make the best meatloaf
and cleanup is a breeze. This set includes a pan, lifting tray, recipe
guide and knife. The non-stick pan collects grease and is dishwasher
safe. Enjoy the preparation and take the hassle out of making that
delicious meatloaf.

Order today and we'll throw in a second set at no additional cost.

Learn More

http://buffaloschips.com/mloaf

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends

Melva/Washday
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Misc_files/A/Was.html

Tomorrows via Carol
http://www.openmyeyeslord.net/tomorrows.htm

Grandma
http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/Pages/grandma.htm

BECOMING A CHRISTIAN
http://tinyurl.com/3a8zcw3

Attitude Is Everything 5
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/attitude5.

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Surfin Surfari

Doomsday 2012
http://www.viewzone.com/endtime.html

Betsy Ross
http://www.usflag.org/history/aboutbetsyross.html

Take The Sword
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/poems/sword.html

Think of a famous person and answer the questions.
http://www.akinator.mobi/

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Hi,

We would like to show you why you may be "fat" and why you're unable
to lose weight no matter how hard you try.

First off, please always know that it's not your fault...

Press here to see why you're fat:

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After you see what the problem is, you will see how easy it is to
finally lose the fat that you want to lose.

Thank you!

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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)

Graphics Links
http://www.wtv-zone.com/Joker/Graphic_Links1.html

Which Search Engine is Better Test ?
http://blindsearch.fejus.com/?q=Type+your+text+here

Replace Ads With Art Images - FireFox
http://add-art.org/

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We would like to know if you would be interested in working from
home in your spare time writing short articles for us. You will be
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We will also pay you $12.00 - $50.00 per hour for posing in blogs,
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Press here if you are interested:

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All my best,

Freelance Home Writers Network

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Animal World

Doggie Zone
http://www.thensome.com/petcancer.htm

Kitty Korner

Here's Your Frog!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/frog.html

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Hello,

We wanted to inform you today that you can now download a program
online that will allow you to watch unlimited television from around
the world right on your PC!

Press Here to watch TV from around the world on your PC:

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Movie Links

Swan
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdkjhsk.htm

Texas Shoot Out
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdksk.htm

Things Men Will Do For A Cold Beer
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dssjssd.htm

What It Feels Like Owning Stock In 2008
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jhkjhk.htm

Workout Bra
http://www.buffaloschips.com/asdksdk.htm

Parent VS Kids
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dsfsdj.htm

Parking 1
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdfsd.htm

Parking 2
http://www.buffaloschips.com/asddsas.htm

Parking3
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gdfgds.htm

Peeling
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dsfasd.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Father Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My 16-year-old brother, Ryan, was out late with friends one night.
Suddenly he realized it was Father's Day and he had neglected to buy
a card for our dad. After much searching, Ryan located an open store,
but was disappointed to find only two cards left on a picked-over
rack. Selecting one, he brought it home and, somewhat sheepishly,
presented it to our father.

Upon opening it, Dad read this message: "You've been like a father to
me." He looked at Ryan, puzzled.

"Well, Dad," Ryan tried to explain, "it was either that or the card
that said, 'Now that I'm a father too!'"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ceremony
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jghdkgjdfg.htm

champagne
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kbjkcvbvck,b.htm

charm toon
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kjfkljlkg.htm

charmin
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jhkljfgklg.htm

cheap
http://www.buffaloschips.com/knflkd.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eggies - As Seen On TV!

Finally, you can enjoy hard boiled eggs without peeling a single shell -
just crack, cook and twist!

The Eggies system is convenient, making it perfect for working
professionals, stay-at-home moms,
babysitters and grandparents.

Order 1 Eggies system now and receive a 2nd set free (just pay
additional P&H), plus get 2 free egg slicers.

http://buffaloschips.com/eggies

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"No bananas," she said, with a sigh,
And a tear trickled down from her eye.
"No cukes, no zucchinis,
No Oscar Meyer weenies,
I'll have to go find me a guy."
_____________________________

My dental hygienist, Faye Ray,
Said, "Travis, eat pussy each day;
Your gums will be stronger,
Your teeth will last longer,
'Cause pussy prevents tooth decay!"
_____________________________

Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep,
And doesn't know where to find 'em...
But a search revealed,
They were out in the field,
With Little Boy Blue behind 'em.
<Snagged by>
Ross

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Magic Mesh door cover instantly opens and magically snaps closed behind
you using 18 strategically placed magnets.

Whether you have your hands full or a forgetful family member you can
still let fresh air in and keep those bugs out.

Buy one, get one free! $19.95 - just pay additional $7.95 P&H.

http://buffaloschips.com/magmes

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Since the wife is eight months into her pregnancy, the husband has to
sleep on the floor to avoid any regrettable mistake, which might happen
pretty easily, for he has been desperate for quite a while now... Just
before lying down on the bed, she glances at him and sees the poor guy
curled up on the floor, eyes stare widely into the empty air, filled
with hopeless desire. Feeling sorry for her husband, she opens the top
drawer of the cabinet, takes out a fifty dollar bill, and gives it to
him: "Awww, my honey is so depressed. Here, take this and go to the
woman next door, she will give you some pussy tonight and remember that
this happens only once. OK? Don't think about it again." The husband
rolls his eyes in disbelief, but afraid that she may change her mind, he
grabs the money and leaves quickly. A few minutes later, he returns,
hands the bill back to the wife and says with much disappointment: "She
said this is not enough, she wants sixty." The wife's face slowly turns
red with anger: "Damn that bitch. when she was pregnant and her husband
came over here for pussy, I only charged him fifty every time, and to
think that SOB might be the father...oops."

In regards to the story of the woman who was frozen to the car fender as
told on the Jay Leno show, this urban myth/ledgend/joke/story has been
around for quite some time. Apparently the woman took the story as her
own and told it on Leno's show just to win a prize. I don't know if it
ever happened or not or whether she was the woman or not but it is kinda
suspicious.

Wayne

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Comfy Control

Comfy Control Harness is a new humane harness that's lightweight and
easily adjustable. It's special design allows for maximum comfort and
safety every time you walk your dog. Comfy Control Harness is designed
to move the pressure away from your dog's neck and on to the shoulders
and back. It will not constrict your dog's breathing so it's perfect for
dogs with short snouts or breathing problems. NO buckles and NO awkward
adjusting! Available in sizes: small, medium, large, and extra-large.

Custom adjusts in seconds
Easy clip on matching 5 foot leash
Open weave design allows air flow
Doesn't constrict breathing
Stylish vest slips right on

TO ORDER
http://buffaloschips.com/comfy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1810

Trash Talk

Diana: BJ you had better go see what the dogs are doing. They are
almost ready to fight.

BJ: Okay.

BJ hurries down the steps and right into an argument.

Rudy: Will so!

Val: Will not!

BJ: What is the argument about?

Sandi: We understand we will have a smaller yard. Some of us think
we can not take our doghouses with us. What is the truth Daddy?

BJ: Oh you will like this. Not only will you take your doghouses
with
you, but there is a huge doghouse in the backyard that is about 50
times larger than your biggest one.

Rudy almost passes out.

Katie does.

Val is measuring hers.

Sandi is just grinning.

BJ continues: It has it's own electricity, it has windows that
opens up.

Rudy: I have died and gone to Heaven.

Val: Amazing.

BJ: It has an attic.

Katie... thud!

The herd in Guthrie

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adult Adult

*********************************************

Remember 9/11/01

Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list

In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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__,_._,___

Re-Slim Dunlap

Slimbob Dunlap was one in a million. The outpouring of love for him here in Minneapolis since the news broke is overwhelming. Everyone has a...