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THE TWO WOLVES
One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle
that was going on inside himself.
He said, "My son, it is between 2 wolves. One is evil: Anger, envy,
sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment,
inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego... The other is good: Joy,
peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence,
empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith..."
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then
asked his grandfather, "Which wolf wins?"
The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one I feed."
************
When I went up with "the war department" to the hospital to see "the general"
(her mother) there was a fellow in the next room. In two days, not a solitary
soul had bothered to come and see him. So, noticing this, I would stick my
head in the door occasionally and just say hello, never chatting with the man
for more than a minute. Anyways, the hospital policy stated "No visitors
except family in ICU" On one such occasion, his nurse happened to see me.
Rushing over there, she glared at me and pointedly asked, "Are you FAMILY?"
I took the hint. But You know, I can't help but think sometimes
that hospitals and their employees are complete idiots.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
LET'S GO TO THE MOVIES
the alter boy
http://www.thepostm
Pizza!!!!
http://www.thepostm
holy shit!
http://www.thepostm
football
http://www.thepostm
THE COMICS
a better lover
http://www.thepostm
theres your damn remote
http://www.thepostm
the cooperative nurse
http://www.thepostm
tie required
http://www.thepostm
a little joke
http://www.thepostm
how to say no
http://www.thepostm
a correction
http://www.thepostm
how to properly use a leaf blower
http://www.thepostm
the guy at the bar
http://www.thepostm
the deranged artist
http://www.thepostm
Things a Hot Babe Shouldn't Say About a Guy's Manhood
1. "I've smoked fatter joints than that."
2. "Ahh, it's cute."
3. "Who circumcised you?"
4. "Why don't we just cuddle?"
5. "You know they have surgery to fix that."
6. "It's more fun to look at."
____________
The businesswoman, in town for an important meeting, checked into her
room at the swank hotel and unpacked her bags. Noticing that her best
suit had been badly wrinkled during her flight, she telephoned the
desk and asked the hotel's valet service to pick it up for pressing.
Almost immediately after she hung up the phone, a knock sounded at
the door, and there stood an elderly Chinaman, waiting. Impressed by
the fast service, the career woman exclaimed, "My, you come lickety-
split!" "No, ma'am," replied the elderly Chinaman. "Come to get laundry."
____________
Harvey and Gladys are getting ready for bed. Gladys is
standing in front of her full-length mirror, taking a
long, hard look at herself.
"You know, Harvey," she comments. "I stare into this
mirror and I see an ancient creature. My face is all
wrinkled, my boobs sag so much that they
dangle to my waist. My arms and legs are as flabby as
popped balloons, and...my butt looks like a sad,
deflated version of the Hindenberg!" My body has just
gone to hell in a hand basket!
She turns to face Harvey and says,
"Dear, please tell me just one positive thing about my
body so I can feel better about myself."
Harvey studies Gladys critically for a moment and then
says in a soft, thoughtful voice,
"Well, there's nothing wrong with your eyesight."
He never heard the shot.
____________
Men Are Just Happier People
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
No wonder men are happier!!
____________
One day, Little Johnny's teacher, Miss Figpot asked the
class "children, if you know the answer, please raise your
hand! Tell me things you can suck!"
"Ice cream, ma'am!" Little Mary answered.
"Good, Jane." Miss Figpot said, "Anyone else?".
"How about a lollipop!" said Steven.
"Very good, now it's your turn Johnny!", the teacher said.
Little Johnny, sitting at back then answered, "A lamp!".
The teacher and all of the students wondered about Little
Johnny's answer. Then the teacher asked him, "Johnny, why
do you think one can suck a lamp?"
"Well, last night when I passed my parents' bedroom",
Little Johnny answered, "I heard my mom say, turn off
the lamp, honey and let me suck it."
BUFFALO'S
Movies
Ice Fishing
http://www.buffalos
Why I Was Never Late For School
http://www.buffalos
Know Your Limits
http://www.buffalos
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman!
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