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===================== ========= ======
IMPORTANT: PLZ READ!
Please note, I will be out of town this weekend,
So there will probably be no Postman's Corner
until this Monday! I'm going with "the war department"
to take care of family matters. "will see you" all when I
get bck in town!
===================== ========= =======
This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint...it goes like this:
What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?
We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.
How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+ 5 = 96%
But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+ 7 = 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that
While Hard work and Knowledge will
get you close, and Attitude will get you there,
it's the Bullshit and Ass kissing that
will put you over the top.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman!
LET'S GO TO THE MOVIES!
how do you spell stupid? was it the guy?
or the girls?
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/movies252. html
the talking kitty
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/movies253. html
grose, lol !!!!
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/movies254. html
home sweet home
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/movies255. html
proof that women worry about stupid shit and
men worry about the important shit.
THE COMICS
better than a milk bone
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/y031. html
don't be offended
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/y032. html
oops, I'm sorry
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/y033. html
neurotic women
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/y034. html
a happy holiday
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/y035. html
raisins, yummm!!!!!
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/y036. html
priceless
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/y037. html
not tonight
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/y038. html
does the witness protection program do that???
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/y039. html
meow
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/y040. html
THE JOKES
While attending a Marriage Encounter Weekend,
Walter and his wife Ann,
listened to the instructor declare,
"It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are
important to each other. He addressed the men,
"Can you name and describe your wife's favorite flower?"
Walter leaned over, touched Ann's arm gently and whispered,
"Gold Medal - All-purpose", isn't it?"
And thus began Walter's life of celibacy
_____________________
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store
but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead"
_____________
Sally: Grandma, when you and Grandpa had your first baby, did
Grandpa ever handle the middle of the night feeding?
Grandma: No. I always did that.
Sally: That must have been before you had women's liberation.
Grandma: No, it was before we had baby bottles.
_____________
Upon reaching 65, old Tom decided to retire.
After having him under foot
for a few months, his wife became very agitated with him.
She suggested he go and do something to occupy his time,
like join a club or get a hobby.
Old Tom obliged and went out for a couple of hours.
When he got home his wife asked about his day and he replied,
'Oh, I just went down to the park
and hung out with the guys.
And oh yeah, I joined a parachute club.
'What? Are you nuts? You're 65 years old and you're
going to start jumping out of airplanes?'
'Yeah, look I even got a membership card.'
'Old man, you need glasses!
This is a membership in a Prostitute Club,
not a Parachute Club!'
'Oh, great! now what am I going to do?
I signed up for 5 jumps a week!'
_______________
Dear Wife:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you
forever. I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have
nothing to show for it.
These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me
that you quit your job today and that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new
haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new
pair of silk boxers. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to
sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love
me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as
husband and wife.
Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever
the case, I'm gone.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away
to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband -
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's
true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a
good man is a far cry from what you've been.
I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant
whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work.
I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing
that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother
raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice,
I didn't comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me
confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the
$49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a
coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it
out. So when I hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job
and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were
gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer
said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from
me. So take care.
Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister
Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem.
BUFFALO'S
Movies
Grocery Store-Kid No Candy
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/ 12318.htm
Andys Holiday
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/ 12140.htm
Bud Lite Center Fold
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/ 12135.htm
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman!
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