welcome to:
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
where the world goes for its daily dose of humor!
(made in the USA)
Both tears and sweat are salty, but they render a different result.
Tears will get you sympathy; sweat will get you change.
- Jesse Jackson
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
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I am going to do something which I do not think I have ever
done as publisher of this little daily email rag. I am going to apologize
for something I said. I do believe this is the first time I have found
it necessary to say I have regrets for comments I've made. Yesterday,
I was talking about Grandma, aka the general, and made the comment
that sometimes hospitals and staff acted like idiots. I profusely wish
to retract that statement. Many of my dear postman fans are medical
staff, especially my good friend Stephanie, pointed out that regulations at a
hospital are there for a very good reason,
and not just to make life difficult.
On a happier note, the "war department" returned home last night.
(I had returned home a couple days earlier and she had remained
at the hospital until last night.)
I am no longer "baching it" YAY!!!! She made me a big huge pot of
baked beans that would make your mouth water! (Well, if not your
mouth, certainly they are good enough to make one's eyes water. hehe)
And even more important, the "war department" says that when she left,
Grand ma aka the general, seemed to have made some significant strides
yesterday. She was sitting up and was lucid, and was even making efforts
to talk! Unintelligible, but she made the effort!
We'll take our blessins where the Good Lord sees fit to give em!
Its a good sign!
Lets have some jokes!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman!
THE COMICS
how do you know
http://www.thepostm
the bank robbery
http://www.thepostm
mickey turns 75
http://www.thepostm
the beggar
http://www.thepostm
why its fun to be a nurse!
http://www.thepostm
how much
http://www.thepostm
Harold's regrets
http://www.thepostm
what do you think
http://www.thepostm
LET'S GO TO THE MOVIES!
Some of you reported that the movies didn't work to well yesterday
Don't know why that happens. Hopefully today will go better
wheel of fortune
http://www.thepostm
Terry Fator
http://www.thepostm
the blind waitress
http://www.thepostm
the guy from Boston
http://www.thepostm
don't drink the water
http://www.thepostm
which is witch
http://www.thepostm
THE JOKES
He said... Want a quickie?
She said...As opposed to what?
-
He said... I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said...You wear briefs, don't you?
-
He said... Do you love me just because my father left me a fortune?
She said...Not at all honey, I'd love you no matter who left you the money.
-
She said...What do you mean by coming home half drunk?
He said... It's not my fault...I ran out of money.
-
He said... Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you in the worst way.
She said...Well, you succeeded.
____________
What do bungee jumping and sex with a prostitute have
in common?
They both cost about $100.
They both last about 30 seconds.
And in both cases, if the rubber breaks, you're a dead man.
____________
He didn't like the casserole,
And he didn't like my cake.
He said my biscuits were too hard,
Not like his mother used to make.
I didn't perk the coffee right,
And he didn't like my stew.
I didn't mend his socks,
The way his mother used to do.
I pondered for an answer,
I was looking for a clue.
Then I turned and smacked the shit out of him.
. . Just like his mother used to do!
____________
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most
of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses
on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him
rather frail, and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad
breath.
This made him...(Oh, man, this is so bad, it's
good).... A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis
____________
Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.
Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.
Doctor: The lab called with your test results.
They said you have 24 hours to live.
Patient: 24 HOURS! That's terrible!!
WHAT could be WORSE? What's the very bad news?
Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.
____________
This minister just had all of his remaining teeth pulled and new
dentures were being made. The first Sunday, he only preached 10 minutes.
The second Sunday, he preached only 20 minutes.
But, on the third Sunday, he preached 1 hour 25 minutes.
When asked about this by some of the congregation, he responded this way:
"The first Sunday, my gums were so sore it hurt to talk.
The second Sunday, my new dentures were still hurting me a lot.
The third Sunday, I accidentally grabbed my wife's dentures...
and I couldn't shut up."
____________
"Now Dr. Freudlein, you have testified that you are an expert in
forensic psychiatry."
"That is correct."
"And that you are the author of several books on serial killers."
"Yes, sir."
"What books on the subject have you written?"
"'The Sociopathology of Serial Killers' and 'One Man's Meat, The
Story Of Hannibal Lector.'"
"You conducted several interviews of the defendant, Jeffrey Dahlmer."
"Yes, I spent approximately sixteen hours interviewing him."
"And you conducted several psychological tests on Mr. Dahlmer."
"Yes, sir."
"And what tests did you give him?"
"The Thematic Apperception Test, The Rorschach Test, The Minnesota
Multiphasic Personality Inventory and the Milton Clinical Multiaxial Inventory."
"And on the basis of your experience in this field, your interviews
with Mr. Dahlmer and the tests you administered, you have come to
some conclusions about Mr. Dahlmer?"
"That is correct."
"Then Dr. Freudlein, would you give the court your impression of the
defendant, Jeffrey Dahlmer."
"Sir, I'm a psychiatrist, not an entertainer. I do not do impressions.
____________
BUFFALO'S
Movies
Terry Tate
http://www.buffalos
Toyota Trap
http://www.buffalos
Bungee
http://www.buffalos
LAB LAUGHS
The Dangers...
http://www.lablaugh
Differences
http://www.lablaugh
Not Going To Fall For It
http://www.lablaugh
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman!
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