Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
What do you have planned for November 10th? It is the 25th
anniversary of The
Wall and we aren't talking Pink Floyd here. The Vietnam War touched
virtually
every family in every city of our country and the Wall is more than
just a monument
to those who gave their lives or never returned, it is a portal that
rejoins veterans
with their comrades and families with their loved ones through
memories. Tom
Parsons, VVA member sends the following
Bill
Thought you might want to send out a invitation
to all Veterans that might want to join in at
the DC 25th Anniversary of The Wall parade..Nov 10th
Hopefully I can attend ..
Tom
IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Press Release August 10, 2007 No. 07-023
Contact:
Mokie Porter
301-996-0901
VVA TO WELCOME THOUSANDS
AT ANNIVERSARY PARADE FOR THE WALL
------------
----------
(Washington, D.C.) August 10 – Vietnam Veterans of America is
sponsoring a 25th Anniversary Parade celebrating and commemorating
the dedication of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial on Saturday, November
10, on the National Mall in Washington, D.C.
"We're expecting the largest gathering of veterans in Washington
since the dedication of The Wall in 1982," said VVA National
President John Rowan. "We are inviting veterans of all wars to join
us as we honor the men and women who served our nation during the
Vietnam War."
The festivities will begin at 10:00 a.m. with star-studded Opening
Ceremonies at the parade's starting point on the Mall at 7th Street
between Jefferson and Madison Drives. The parade will step off at
11:00 a.m. It will consist of individual participants, including many
prominent Vietnam veterans from all walks of life; military vehicles;
floats; motorcyclists; and marching bands from around the country.
The parade will end at the Washington Monument Grounds, where
participants will take part in a variety of events, including unit
reunions.
"We are issuing a special, open invitation to everyone who served in
the military during the Vietnam War era," Rowan said. "Come and join
us in Washington in a landmark event."
Application forms for individuals and groups who would like to join
the parade are available at http://vva.org/
or by calling toll free 877-727-2333.
Vietnam Veterans of America (VVA) is the nation's only
congressionally chartered veterans service organization dedicated to
the needs of Vietnam-era veterans and their families. VVA's founding
principle is "Never again will one generation of veterans abandon
another."
Enjoy the chips and be careful out there, It's Monday again ....
buffalo
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Virgin Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Very First Time
Mildred and Chester knew each other from childhood but were in their
seventies when they got married.
They had to wait for Mildred's mother to pass away first.
Back in those days there was no hanky panky before marriage so Chester
and Mildred were both still virgins.
Needless to say Chester was pretty excited on their wedding
night,having
waited so patiently all these years.
However, Mildred was very apprehensive as she had developed a heart
condition and would have to tell Chester that they could not do it.
Chester is now sitting on the bed wanting Mildred to hurry up.
He detects a little reluctance on her part.
Thinking that she is shy he sends her off to the bathroom to get
undressed.
When she reappears in her silk satin nightie, he gets her to sit next
to
him on the bed.
Not knowing how to get things started he pulls the first strap on her
nightie.
She blushes just as red as her silk satin nightie.
She is really concerned about telling Chester about her heart
condition.
In the meantime Chester is looking at the first breast he has seen
since
his own mother's.
It is hanging there down to her belly button: gravity having taken
it's
course over some sixty years.
He realizes her anxiety but figures she is going have to be helped a
little more.
Now he pulls the second strap and sees the second breast unroll
downward
before him.
Poor Mildred is now beside herself.
She is going to have to tell Chester about her heart.
With a quivering voice and mustering up all her courage, she says,
"Chester I have acute angina."
Chester says, "I sure hope so. Cuz you've shore got ugly boobs."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Safety Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
This construction worker had climbed 20 stories to the job site. Once
there he'd asked the foreman if he could go back down to take a leak.
Not wanting to lose the time, the foreman balanced on I- beam across
another, stood on one end, and told the worker to walk out to the
other
end to pee.
While the worker was doing his business, the phone rang. The foreman,
forgetting what he was doing, stepped off the I-beam and the worker
plunged 20 stories to his death.
The next week the safety inspectors came by to conduct a routine
investigation into the accident. They talked to the ground crew.
"I think it was sex-related, " offered one of the crew.
"Sex releated? How do you figure that?" said the investigator.
"Well, what made me look up was this guy coming down, dick in his
hand,
screaming, 'where did that cocksucker go???'"
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Short Chips
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At the checkout counter of the department store where I was a cashier,
customers frequently asked me under what circumstances items were
returnable. One woman who came through my line must have been aware of
store policy. She pointed to the lacy red-and-black negligee she was
about topurchase. "May I bring this back if it doesn't work?" she
asked.
A handsome young lad went into the hospital for some minor surgery and
the day after the procedure, a friend stopped by to see how the guy
was
doing. The friend was amazed at the number of nurses who entered the
room in short intervals with refreshments, offers to fluff his
pillows,
make the bed, give back rubs, etc. "Why all the attention ?" the
friend
asked. "You look fine to me." "I know." grinned the patient. "But the
Nurses kinda formed a little fan club when they all heard that my
circumcision required twenty-seven stitches."
"Hey, Mom," asked Little Johnny, "can you give me twenty dollars?"
"Certainly not," she said. "If you do," he went on, "I'll tell you
what
dad said to the maid when you were at the beauty shop." His mother's
ears perked up and, grabbing her purse, she handed over the money.
"Well? What did he say?" "He said, 'Hey, Marie, make sure you wash my
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Pussy Chips
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A girl about to be married confessed to her close friend that she was
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"No Problem," said the friend, who had just finished watching an
Arnold
Schwarzenegger movie. "Just buy a piece of raw liver and shove it up
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The girl followed this advice and on her wedding night the groom
consummated the marriage with tremendous energy in the bed, on the
floor, in the bathtub, under the kitchen table, everywhere. She fell
asleep blissfully, but when she awoke she was devastated to find the
following note pinned to her pillow: Dear Jane: Last night was pure
heaven. Unfortunately, since we will never be able to repeat that
performance, I am leaving you forever. P.S. Your pussy is in the sink.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you've been watching TV or reading magazines and newspapers
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A friend and her husband were participating in a blood drive, and as
part of the prescreening process, an elderly volunteer was asking
some questions.
"Have you ever paid for sex?" the woman asked my friend's husband
sweetly.
Glancing wearily over at his wife who was trying to calm a new baby
and tend to several other children milling around her, "Oh yes", he
sighed,"Every time."
Q. Why are coffins for blondes shaped like a triangle?
A. Because every time their heads hit a pillow, their legs spread
open.
When Mary was pregnant, her 5 year old, Billy, was utterly amazed,
and a little bit disbelieving, that his sister was growing in his
mommy's tummy. So one day when the baby was especially active, she
sked Billy to place his tiny hands on her tummy to feel the baby kick.
When he did, however, the baby was suddenly still.
"Oh, Billy, she must have decided to take a nap," shrugged Mary.
"A nap?" Billy marveled. "You mean there's a bed in there too?"
A young lady, visiting the London zoo, asked the keeper where the
monkeys were.
Keeper: "They're in the back, having sex."
Young lady: "Would they come out for some peanuts?"
Keeper: "I don't know. Would you?
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Santa Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
On Christmas morning, a cop on horseback was sitting at
a traffic light, and next to him was a kid on his shiny new bike.
The cop said to the kid, "Nice bike you got there.
Did Santa bring that to you?"
The kid said, "Yeah."
The cop said, "Well next year, tell Santa to put a
tail light on that bike."
The cop then proceeded to issue the kid a $20.00
bicycle safety violation ticket.
The kid took the ticket. Before he rode off he said,
"By the way, that's a nice horse you got there.
Did Santa bring that to you?"
Humoring the kid, the cop said, "Yeah, he sure did."
The kid said, "Well next year tell Santa to put the dick
underneath the horse, instead of on top."
Christine
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LynnLynn's Links
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cowboy Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A lady went into a bar in Waco and saw a cowboy
with his feet propped up on a table. He had the
biggest boots she'd ever seen.
The woman asked the cowboy if it's true what they
say about men with big feet. The cowboy grinned
and said,
"Shore is, little lady! Why don't you come on out to
the bunkhouse and let me prove it to you?"
The woman wanted to find out for herself, so she
spent the night with him.
The next morning she handed him a $100 bill.
Blushing, he said, "Well, thankee, ma'am. Ah'm
real flattered. Ain't nobody ever paid me fer mah
services before."
The woman replied, "Don't be flattered... take the
money and buy yourself some boots that fit!"
Randy
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Toon Chips
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Poetry Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
First the Lord made man in the Garden of Eden.
Then he said to himself, "There's something he's needin' ". After
casting about for a suitable pearl, He kept messing around and
created a
girl.
Two beautiful legs, so long and so slender,
Round, slim, and firm, and ever so tender.
Two lovely hips to increase his desire,
And rounded and firm to bring out the fire.
Two lovely breasts, so full and so proud,
Commanding his eyes, as he whispers aloud.
Two lovely arms, just aching to bless you,
And two loving hands, to soothe and caress you.
Soft, cascading hair hung down over her shoulder,
And two dreamy eyes, just to make him grow bolder.
'Twas made for a man, just to make his heart sing.
Then he added a mouth. Ruined the whole fucking thing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
COWBOY CHILI
A young cowboy walks into a seedy cafe in Prescott, Arizona. He
sits at
the counter and notices an old cowboy with his arms folded staring
blankly
at a full bowl of chili.
After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the
young
cowboy
bravely asks the old cowpoke, 'If you ain't gonna eat that, mind if
I do?'
The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young wrangler
and in
his
best cowboy manner says, 'Nah, you go ahead.'
Eagerly, the young cowboy reaches over and slides the bowl over to
his
place
and starts spooning it in with delight. He gets nearly down to the
bottom
and notices a dead mouse in the chili. The sight was shocking and
he
immediately barfs up the chili into the bowl.
The old cowboy quietly says, 'Yep, that's as far as I got, too.'
Julie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There is a guy who has a dog that doesn't obey him. Then he sees an
ad in
the paper for a great dog trainer. So, he decides to go to the dog
trainer
and get his dog trained.
The guy walks in the room and asks, "Can you train my dog, and are
you a
good trainer?"
The trainer replies, "Well, I can train your dog, and I will give
you a
demonstration of how good I am."
He dumped a box full of bones on the floor and blew a whistle.
The first dog came in and made a skeleton with the bones. "Wow!"
said the
guy, "What kind of dog is that?" "That's a nurse's dog," said the
trainer.
Then he blows the whistle again and a second dog comes in the room.
That
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1062
The Games Dogs Play
BJ: What game are you playing guys?
Rudy: Scrabble.
BJ: You guys have some strange words.
Sandi: We have been using Katie's dictionary.
Ginger: Is there really a word called Kold?
Katie: Yes, there is. When you get sick or when
you stay outside in the winter you can catch a Kold.
BJ: Oh.
Rudy: How about the word Kollection?
Katie: When you have a lot of bones in a place, you
have a kollection of bones.
Sandi: Yes, daddy she has taught us a lot. I learned
about Kash today.
Katie: Yes, when you Kash your check.
BJ: Oh dear. Your dictionary, right Katie?
Katie: Yes, father.
BJ: I see the K section is the largest. Hmm Kar, Kop, Kopper.
My we have a lot of words that are new to me.
Katie: Well you are never too old to learn father.
BJ: I guess I can take Komfort in that Katherine.
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
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