[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner!




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THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
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(made in the USA)

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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!

A comment from a postman fan.
Hey postman!
I love your page, I look forward to it every day!
I was wondering. sometime back, you had an offer of free pepsi twist.
And I actually got some! It was the first time I ever got anything for free!
Wow. I was wondering, is that offer still out there? I'd really have some more.
Patti in NY

Says the postman
Sure Patti...here ya go...enjoy!
Martin

GET FREE PEPSI TWIST HERE!



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FROM: THE INVESTIGATIVE REPORTS BUREAU OF
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Geico insurance company announced today that amid economic downtrends
in the market place, the giant insurance company is branching out in to different
areas. Best known for its car insurance, Geico says it will soon begin offering
new and novel types of insurance policies....


We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman!

LET'S GO TO THE MOVIES!

the arrest of Senator Craig
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/movies325.html

fresh
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/movies326.html

too much time on their hands
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/movies327.html

beauty
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/movies328.html

the cop prank
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/movies329.html


THE COMICS

the therapist
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a041.html

wishing well
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a042.html

thank goodness Carl
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a043.html

when my ship came in
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a044.html

for my mother in law
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a045.html

obscene phone calls
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a046.html

not tonight Tim
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a047.html

Kemosabe
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a048.html

time to vote
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a049.html

mother says
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a050.html



THE JOKES

One day an old lady went to the doctors because she had an itch in her crotch.
She told the doctor her problem and he said, "You have the crabs".
She informed the doctor that it could not be the crabs because she was
an eighty year old virgin.
She went to another doctor and explained her problem to him.
The doctor said,
"You probably have the crabs".
"No" she said, "I am an eighty year old virgin."
Frustrated, she went to a third doctor.
She said,
"Doctor can you help me?
I have an itch in my crotch.
Don't tell me that it is the crabs because I am an eighty year old
virgin. It can not be the crabs."
The doctor said,  "Jump on the table and let's have a look."
After examining, the doctor proclaimed,
"Ma'am, you're right, you do not have the crabs.
This cherry is sooooo old, you have fruit flies."
_______________

Q: Why do reindeer have red noses?
A: They are not equipped with ABS and thus tend to bump into
     things on slippery surfaces. This is why Santa is often seen
     with a red nose (the sleigh doesn't have an airbag, either).

Q: Why does Santa use Elves?
A: There is no trade union for Elves. They're easy to exploit.

Q: Is there really a Mrs. Claus?
A: Highly unlikely. Since Santa is surrounded by male figures
     (Elves, reindeer named Rudolph, Donner, Blitzen etc.) his
     sexual preference seems to tend towards homosexuality. He is
     said to have some problems finding a gerontophile/zoophile Elf
     for a threesome with a reindeer, though.

Q: Does Santa really live on the North Pole?
A: Uncertain. However, rumor has it that the story of Santa and
     the North Pole has nothing to do with the Arctic, but that
     Santa is known to frequently ask the Elves and reindeer if he
     can shove his pole up north.  Obviously, this is related to
     the cryptic description "up where the sun don't shine", which
     applies to both the North Pole and assholes in general.
_______________

As Joe walked out of a brothel, he was overcome by a sudden pang of hunger and
decided to grab a bite to eat at the restaurant across the street. He sat down
and ordered chicken noodle soup. After a few bites, he found a pubic hair in his
soup and told the waitress he wanted a refund. The waitress remonstrated,
"Knowing where you just came from, you're complaining of a hair in your soup?"
Joe replied, "Lady, if I had found a noodle in the 'meal' I ordered from the
brothel, I wouldn't have paid there either!"
______________

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were.
The  first man was an Engineer, the second man was an  Accountant,
the  third man was a Chemist,,,,,,and the fourth man was a Government  Employee.
To  show off, the Engineer called his cat,
"T-square, do your  stuff."
T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some
paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a  square,
and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.
But the Accountant said his cat could  do better.
He called his cat and said,
"Spreadsheet, do your stuff."
Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned
with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies
...........Everyone agreed that was good.
But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,"Measure, do your stuff."
Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk,, got a 10 ounce glass
from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without  spilling a drop into the glass.
Everyone agreed that was pretty  good.
Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, "What can your cat  do?"
The  Government Employee called his cat and said,,,,,
"Coffee Break,,,,do your  stuff."
Coffee Break jumped to his feet,,,,,,,,,,,
ate the cookies,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
drank the milk,,,,,,,,,
shit on the paper,
screwed the other three cats,
claimed he injured his back while doing so,
filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions,
put in for Workers Compensation and
went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.
AND THAT'S WHY I WANT TO WORK FOR THE  GOVERNMENT 
_______________

Dear Son:
Your Paw has a job. It's the first one he had in forty-eight years
since we have been married.
We are a little better off now, because we have so much
money now we don't know what to do with it.
Paw gets $47.15 every Thursday, so we thought we ought to do something
about fixing up the house. We sent to Sears & Roebuck for one of those
bathrooms you hear people having in houses. It took a plumber to put it in shape.
On one side of the bathroom is a great long thing something like a pig
trough, only you get in it and wash all over. Over on the other side is a
little white thing they call a sink where you wash your face and hands.
But over in the corner we really got something. This thing, you put one foot
in, wash it clean, then you pull the chain & get fresh water for the
other foot. Two lids come with the thing.
We got no use for them in the bathroom so  I'm
using one for the bread board. The other
lid has a hole in it so we use it for a frame for grandfather's picture.
Sears & Roebuck are real nice people to deal with. They sent us a roll
of paper with the outfit. We can't write on it very well, so I'm using it
to wrap Paw's lunch.
Take care of yourself.
Maw
___________________


BUFFALO'S MOVIES

Runway
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/041613.htm

Ballet Class
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/12404.htm

Biker Rack
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/112401.htm

LAB LAUGHS

To My Friends
http://www.lablaughs.com/clean_toon.php?id=C20070825

lab laugh toon
http://www.lablaughs.com/clean_toon.php?id=C20070821

SEXY CALENDAR
http://www.lablaughs.com/adult_toon.php?id=A20070825

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman!








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